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Therapy Day



Well, things are a jumble this week. Trying to put them in some sort of order for my every-other-week therapy session.

There's how work makes me feel.

There's only being able to be gentle and patient online.

There's me being stationary on anything to do with getting rid of my wife.

There's the determination to hide, the letting life go by, the boredom and fear and fatigue.

I hope it's a long session. ;-)


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Well, the "hiding" I was talking about is mostly, hiding from life. I may not be capable of my usual volume of posts, at the moment, but I'm not going away.

But I will elaborate further. It just deserves its own blog entry. :-)

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I know, Beth. It's just that you guys can't actually, say, get me out of bed in the morning. I value the support I get here, but about all I can use it for is to give me the strength for the changes _I_ have to make.

Even a doctor doesn't "heal" a person, you know. They give them stuff that makes it easier for them to heal themselves. Trust me, you do that, too.

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Who said "pushy", sweety?

Your worry makes me feel valued.

I was just trying to keep that feeling of responsibility that you develop from hurting you ...

And the "heal" thing was in response to something you said elsewhere, about LE. Wanting to be the one who heals someone else leaves you holding the bag, if they don't heal. If you just offer them your help, then it won't hurt so much if they don't choose to use it, or use it to fix the wrong thing.

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Mark, I don't want to annoy you, but...you are taking care of me in your own blog. Maybe it might be possible for you to consider yourself first? I do value you and hope that you allow yourself to be comforted at some point. I don't expect to heal you. I do want to be a friend back, if you'll let me. But I don't want to push if you aren't willing or ready to accept comfort and that's what I meant.

Hope this wasn't annoying.

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