Well if anything was going to throw me, my videoed role-play at the social anxiety group last night would.

My anxiety did show up a lot on the video. And I did have a spectacular moment of mind blank in the middle of it. However the feedback from the others in the group was kind. I didn't beat myself up about it though, I'm glad I challenged myself. Best of all no dip in mood as a result.

Still no obvious physical side effects of the withdrawal from the meds. Maybe this very gradual pace is suiting me well.

At 10.30am this morning I suddenly felt nauseous. I told my boss that I needed to leave because I was going to be sick. I drove the car out of the car park and had to stop suddenly to be sick at the roadside. (Not very pleasant I know). The side effects of withdrawal from this medication can cause vomiting - not sure how long it goes on though.

Feeling ok now, but reluctant to eat in case I'm sick again.

Well I'm pretty pleased with myself. I seem to be coping with the side-effects quite well. I feel very clammy all the time and a little bit dizzy. Certainly not bad enough for me to go back on the meds. My mood is good too - so onwards and upwards!

Had to leave work early again today. The sweating and light headedness is getting to me. Had a snooze this afternoon and am fighting fit now again (well sort of:rolleyes:).

We were introduced to Mindfullness in the SA group this week. I think this is going to be a very useful tool for me. Have been practicing it a bit and I like how it makes me feel.

I cried my way through my therapy session on Saturday - not sure where that came from. I've had a 4 week break from therapy maybe I was storing it all up. Anyhow I'm pleased at how the reduction in meds is going, just feel clammy and dizzy - can cope with that I think.

I feared today that the depression was coming back. But after a few minutes on the internet, it seems that when coming off the medication you can have some of the old feeling come through. So a lot of people go back on the meds as a result but it is yet another side effect. I will persist with the structured withdrawal because I really want to know how I feel off it.

We have had such a unbelievable stressful week with our 17 year old son. I must know the inside of every police station in a 10 mile radius.

The good thing is that my mood is still stable - I am continuing the program of reduction in the meds regardless.

I am mentally and physically exhaused from stress. I am so ashamed of my son's behaviour that I am reluctant to talk to anyone outside the family about it. However I spoke to one of my sisters about it yesterday, just to have someone listen and to offer support was all I needed. I'm dizzy this morning - don't know if I can blame the meds on this. I'm due to reduce the meds again this week, I was in two minds about it but I think I will carry on with it.

Hey Goose

Sorry things arent going to good for you at the moment hun

Good luck with coming off the meds

Take care

I'm glad I'm coming off the meds, cause to me it's not depression. As my therapist said "It's all the sh#t going on in your life". Missed my S.A. group last night due to more stuff. Couldn't sleep last night, kept thinking I heard the door bell ringing. Commited myself to a 5 year loan to get son no1. out of bother. DB was worried that this meant she could not go back to college. Well whatever else she and Ro are not going to suffer due to their brother's stupidity.

Good news I got 85% in my final assignment in my course on Leonardo da Vinci. I am working towards an Arts and Humanities Degree and it is the one thing that makes me happy, getting lost in the books.

Had difficulty getting to sleep last night, so I dug out the relaxation cd I was given in the mental health clinic. It works very well for me, except when people keep coming into the room disturbing me:mad:

Mighty dizzy this morning, but made it through work ok. Going to go for a snooze now zzzzzzzzzzzz

First kind of non-dizzy day I've had. Nice to have a clear head for a change.

Really happy with the way things are going at the moment - considering the amout of crap that is happening. No dip in my mood and continuing to reduce the meds.

It's 2am I should be in bed. I'm noticing how I am improving socially. That's good.

Started reducing the anti-psychotic, this scares me because it has been given to me as a mood stabiliser. My stomach is upset all the time - must be a side effect. Had a dip in my mood last week, just fed up with how my husband talks to our son.

Well I'm a fair way with the reduction in meds. Have gone from 225mg to 75mg in one and from 50mg to 25mg in the other. I feel more alert, which is a good thing, but my overall health is not great. I'm constantly sick, so I went to the doc today and he is going to do a whole pile of blood tests just to see what's going on.

Now fully off the anti-psychotic - it was prescribed to me as a mood stabiliser. I'm glad to be off it but nervous that I have to control my own mood now.

Had my blood tests today. As I work in the hospital I was able to take a sneek preview of some of the results on the computer. My glucose is up - indicating possible diabeties. My cholesterol is high. Seems like I'm anemic also. Thats only half of them. Anyhow I'm not a doctor so I should not be trying to interpret my own results.

Another drop in the strength of the meds this week. Due to come off them all together in two weeks time, am pretty pleased with that. I am officially now a diabetic, have a low thyroid level and am b12 defficient. So my GP has put me on 3 new meds - lifetime stuff. 2nd last S.A. group tonight, I have met some lovely people and gained much from this experience.

I'm now fully off my meds. There has been no low mood. Am currently in hospital for other medical reasons - having a load of tests tomorrow, not too worried though - it may all be related to the diabeties.

I'm not sure what the reason for my low mood at the moment. I am physically unwell, that could be one reason. Of course my son's suicide attempt has had a huge impact on me and the whole family. I have made a decision to go back on a low dose of the antidepressant for a while - I have no qualms about this - I want to feel well and to be able to function. My husband has been a great support to me and maybe we have connected better as a result.