I hate myself, I hate the way my life has been a constant roller coaster, I hate everything about who I am. I feel miserable all the time, and wish I could be happy just for a few days, maybe it would make it all worth it again. If it weren't for my son, I would be curled up in my bed feeling sorry for myself and trying to figure out an effective way to end it all. I feel soo empty inside. I am completely numb and I am having a very difficult time pulling myself out of it. I went to speak with my therapist this morning, and we are going to start the tough stuff next week. She knows I am feeling like this, and is of course concerned. She also knows that it is because of my son that I haven't done anything yet. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! The monster is waiting to pounce!! The only question is when?