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Open Mind


malign

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I've been having a difficult time, for a while now, and it came to a head only a few minutes ago. I briefly considered packing it in and leaving the site, in fact.

Even if I left, I wouldn't have closed with a blog entry saying that no one ever gets better here; I know different. Heck, I'm a living example.

But I was a bit discouraged. And, rather than make vague allusions and have everyone thinking it's them and feeling guilty and just generally not using my words to help them, I decided further not to post about others, today.

Instead I asked myself, "Am _I_ keeping an open mind?"

I have a lot of problems that have been simmering for quite a while now. How to get divorced, how to make ends meet before and after, where to go from there ... And yet, I keep doing the stuff I already know how to do. I refuse to make any changes, out of the certainty, at some level, that I'm bound to make things worse.

Basically, it's not that different from when I was suicidal: I'm convinced, as I was then, that there's only "one way", and I'm already doing it.

My challenge now is re-opening my mind ...

{And yes, this is blog entry #200. Somehow, those milestones have lost some of their luster.}

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Mark, your mind is well-gifted. If you re-open it there is bound to be a lot to discover. Thanks for being there for me this week. Your words help A LOT. Maybe you should listen to them. What do you think?

For what it's worth, I appreciate you.

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Good luck with the opening your mind... if you figure it out you could probably sell it! Mark you are a gift to everyone on here. I am sorry that you are feeling.... frustrated? Thank you for all the kindness you have shown me.

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Mark, if I may,

I too often have found myself, "trapped" into a way of thinking. That what I'm doing is all there is and it's the best I can do but somehow, it's never good enough or, something. The name of my therapist's practice was called, "Perspectives" and that was the greatest gift she gave me, other perspectives.

It's one thing to have an open mind. It's quite another knowing what to put in it once it's open. I tend to get stuck in a, "this or that" way of thinking. That there's option A and option B and which do I choose? She encouraged me to step back and by conversing with her and others who see things in ways and from perspectives I simply do not have, I was able to see C and D and E and so many others.

It's like trying to cross a mountain range. You are walking the path and see only forward and back. By simply, "opening your mind" you can try to picture what it would look like from different locations and then use that to guide you. But instead of picturing it, why not call out to those on the mountaintops and ask what they see?

I know, the metaphor maniac strikes again :P But, consider it anyway. :)

~ John

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Hah, it'll be like scattering seed. :-)

Talk about seeing it from a different viewpoint ...

Perhaps I'm a dandelion head.

I dunno, John, the people on the mountaintops look awfully peak├ęd ... ;-) Besides, I think the point of having to journey to the mountaintop to talk to the guru is the journey ... Though I am glad to hear from you; I hope you're okay.

Mary, now I'm wondering how to sell my open mind. :-)

I'd probably prefer to give it away, like Luna suggested, anyway. Sometimes the things you give away are the most valuable.

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Sed! You didn't do anything wrong ...

My reaction was mine, and that's the entire point of this post: I learned something about me. I'm saying "no" to options that do exist, and then complaining that I don't have a choice. It's a form of denial, really.

But in fact, all the people whose behavior I noticed helped me, because it allowed me to see the behavior in myself. So, yet again really, I owe this site and its inhabitants my thanks. :-)

Growth can be painful, and the immediate corollary (hey, a proof word!) is that going through life avoiding all pain means you never grow.

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Hey,

I think we're talking about two different journeys here. :P

Journey TO the mountaintop is one thing. But I was talking about journeying through life itself. Okay, let's do another metaphor, shall we? Lol!

You and several others are travelling from NYC to LA, all in separate cars. Don't ask me why, I don't know why you're going anyway! So, you hit a snag on one highway and get stuck. You could sit there and think, "I can keep going or turn back" or, you could ring up a friend and say, "Hey, which way did you go? Can you see what the problem is? Is it clearing up or should I take a different route? What's it look like from your perspective?" Even better, if you know the guy in the traffic copter, there's a perspective NO ONE else will have! :)

Again just suggesting getting various viewpoints. I know how easy it can be to get stuck in tunnel vision, thinking I've already exhausted every possibility... only to then open up to someone and hear a perspective not only that I hadn't considered but, one I was unable to see, because my experience just never allowed for that possibility to exist.

Now, what the heck was that all about? :P

~ John

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