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I love it Domino

I have been thinking and pondering alot these last few days. I can only speak for myself, but as odd as it may sound I think that my own blow up at what was going on was more of a symptom of something that needed to happen for me...lets see if I can make some sense out of this, I believe that I had so much anger and resentment toward life and my situation pent up for at least seven years it needed to be triggered into action. For days afterwards I would actually for real go and sit in my truck with windows rolled up and just scream and cry and throw a tantrum, I did this for at least 2 days off and on. (almost 50 yrs old and Im having a tantrum). It was a catharsis for me, when I finally exhausted myself with all that, I felt as if a big release of bad energy had finally left my body. Does that make sense, I was never actually angry at any of you, I apparently needed to explode, Im just sorry that I did it the way I did and posted when I should of not. I was sad scared that I had lost my friends.

Because now in the forums I do truly feel lonely, I don't know what happened to Linda, I don't think she is doing well at all and on the last post on my thread, IrmaJean pretty much layed into her and she hasn't been back on since, at least not that I noticed.

So you see, what I thought was such a negative thing, in reality it helped me get rid of the bad stuff I have been holding in for so long.

I am anxious to get you guys feedback on this, it is something I apparently need to work on.

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Hi Everyone,

I'm glad I'm not the last to get here and suppose I will only be partially slobbered on by Domino whom btw I think makes a great Mod.

Mike I think the idea of this blog is a good one for us all to be able to talk without outside unneeded influences which can seem more like side taking than just people listening and offering support for all.

I am glad you are here Shannon and I don't want to comment all that much about Linda as I have some very heavy harboring feelings about her interactions about this all. I of course wish her well but cannot get into anything else about that right now.

I think we all went a bit nutty a week or so, ago. Considering what all of us are dealing with I don't think it is too foreign for what occurred to have happened. I think we all could have dealt with it better. I personally felt like every time I turned around someone else unneeded was honing in and not really supporting or attempting to heal anything. For the most part that is why I decided it better not to post. I thought not posting anything would give us a breather that we surely needed to get all our heads back on straight but again it seemed like others wanted to keep dragging it out. There didn't seem like a good break or right time to try and mend anything. Too many hurt feelings, things said in anger and things that hadn't anything to do with what went on kept getting in the way.

We all have stress might be different flavors and are compounded by several different arenas but for the most part I thought we had always tried to support and respect one another. I think we should all say what we need to here and then restart what all was working for us. Perhaps we should also make some written or unwritten "rules" or just ways of dealing with disagreements in the future.

A break without posting might be good, keeping the disagreements as private as possible might be another. No one is ever right in a disagreement and I think when others get involved it only prolongs the issue and blows it up into more hurt and distance.

Shannon with everything that you are going through you might be right that you needed that outlet to let it loose. I would never have felt the way I had though if it didn't feel like a personal attack rather than you just needing to explode and have us listen.

I don't like to argue but I am big on standing my ground and I really don't like when others try to cause problems with people I consider friends. The misunderstanding of Mike's post could have been easily dealt with if every one's views and feelings were taken into account none of which seemed to happen in my opinion. Another thread made by corvette to talk about us in bullshit code also only increased the anger.

Everyone should post what they want but it really came across to me and Mike as just shadiness and a host of others jumping in increased the split.

People screw up, people don't always act or behave like they should but I'd like to think with proper respect for all things can be worked out.

Now I think we are missing Jedidiah here and I hope are Mod gets on him. I've felt bad for him since he really wanted to post but didn't feel welcome doing it on the site any longer. I hope that can change for us all.

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I really do like the idea of taking a break and having a bit more privacy, I think you were right Hotspot, I think there were just to many people interjecting into a conversation that could of maybe resolved easier...don't know, the whole thread lost control and people were coming in all of a sudden out of no where, I have to say I got really confused there and also kept feeling pulled this way and that way..I don't like that. I am hoping that with just you guys I can get back to that supportive feeling we all had.

I have to say Jedidiah is some kinda a guy I tell ya, he would PM me just to see if I was ok, and also as he told you Im sure about not being comfortable posting. I think he is more grown up then me...and if he doesn't get on here quick, Domino is really gonna slime him.

glad to have you guys back.

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UT oh guess I am the last to arrive. I will take my slobbering from your mini horse. :)

I am so, very happy we are all here talking again. I have been confused and hurt not knowing which way to turn. I enjoy being able to talk with all of you. When I returned and saw everyone upset and other people jumping in which to me seemed to make matters worse I did not know what to do.

Shannon, I can understand your feeling lonely and being pulled in different directions. It can be hard to not know where to turn when everything is in an uproar.

I really thought an innocent comment of Mike's got blown into something it was not. I also felt like the explanation and apology were not sincere but done as a means of saying well I apologized so, everyone elses feelings should be erased.

I also think that sometimes something small and unrelated can set off other larger feelings we hold within. They come out without even us understanding why. I am glad you were able to have a release that you needed Shannon. I knew all of you were hurting in your own ways and not being comfortable posting where others could interject themselves was better. I sent a lot of private messages trying to understand what exactly happened and attempting to find out how everyone was doing.

The biggest sense I took away from all the messages were that everyone felt badly about how they acted. Everyone also appeared to want to correct things but did not know how. Mike starting this blog for us all I think is a great step forward for us.

I feel bad for Linda but I also felt like she was not being supportive in her postings. I felt like they were further unwarranted mini attacks. I am glad some of the ugliness was edited out of those postings. Some of what was said in them was hurtful and not in any way needed or beneficial in healing.

I think sometimes the best way to let things calm down is to step away. Dragging things out or having others not really involved talking about it is not helpful.

Mike did you add Luna? It would be nice if Luna posted with us. She also would be the last and Domino could slobber away on her. :(

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Its nice to see all yous again and with Domino keepin a watch out I think we should be ok

I dont think Luna needs invite she can post and view like all the Mods can but will send her msg so she knows to come chat I know everyone is ok with that and Jedidiah wont have to miss her and dont worry Domino will be sure to slobber on all his friends

I do thinktalkin here will be better for awhile I also think workin somethin out like Hotspot suggested so somethin like what happened doesnt hapen again nonone likes feelin like poop or like they lost friends online stuff can go wrong fast not like in person cant but I think it is worse online with the time between posts and other people gettin involved that normally didnt even talk in a thread not like any of them werent welcome but did seem real odd to me that so many that never said boo had all these opinions and like hotspot said it felt like people wanted to make sides rather than help get us all back together

I also dont want to talk about Linda really I know she is havin hard times too but some of the things she was sayin was not right and out of left field everyone is entitled to feel how they do but attackin like she did in her posts when noone had even said anything was really over the top and did not feel like she wanted anything to get fixed I had thought we all were friends hell that is why I made that post sayin I thought yous 2 were tangible friends Ive learned I was very wrong in thinking that with her Ive had crap happen with females but I dont lump them all together and be mean and rude to all just because some arent good I dont know if that relationship can ever be fixed after lots of what was said makes me think we werent friends to begin with

things did go wacky but like you learned shannon your response was related to other things I think we all have learned maybe its better to deal with stuff differently in the future I know I have to try and not get caught up in all the others chimming in none of that was helpful and it pissed me off that several that hadnt anything to do with it all wanted to make sure they had a comment in things are different online in lots of ways

It dont take much for me to get angry and Im workin on it but sometimes there is very fine line between being angry with cause and not needed fueled anger

In real life doubt people would come out of woodwork and chime in and the chimen in wasnt as bad as how it was all divided and fueling more split All those people readin along everytime we posted and then small argument happens and it didnt feel like anyone wanted to actually help us get back together

I just got done watchin the dead people I have to say I do have weird jobs I drive old people all around I drive everyday folks and party people around and I look over the dead although the money and bennefits are good collectivly it would be nice to figure out something I might really wanna do as like career guess though since all the jobs pay the bills and job market suckin maybe isnt the time

so how is everyone doin and what ya all been up to? Domino has been goin to counseling had taken him to meet the shrink and hes come every time since not sure what the shrink was expecting but he kept sayin how well behaved my pawed kid is if you havent seen him hes the doggy in the picture shannon with one of his many soccer balls hotspot and Jedidiah have met him

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Glad you made it Jedidiah, I agree the whole mess was confusing and I certainly got caught up in it as well. I think this has bee quite the learning point for me, as well as study in human behavior. I think I too had a difficult time processing everything when I fell all of a sudden all eyes were on us.

I as well don't feel like trying to understand where Linda is coming from at this time, will leave it at that, well I kinda think I know whats going on with her, but at least I recognized my part and tried to take action to correct it...ok now i will leave it.

I think here we can maintain the honesty and if any of us is confused about what one of us says we can be more direct without worry of someone jumping providing their opinion.

Mike, I figured that was Domino in pic, I do believe I have a saddle that would fit lol...Do you think he could teach my terrorist terriers some manners. I must say I am a bit envious that Jedidiah and Hotspot have got to meet him, and that you all have had a chance to get together, makes me realize just how far away I am.

Heres to better days, I think I see them around the corner.

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I have to say I never imagined actually meeting anyone from this site. I knew others would be from my neck of the woods but actually meeting would be something else. I find at other sites even those that live close by never get together and like to keep everything in the virtual world.

I've enjoyed meeting Jedidiah, Mike and Domino. It would be nice if you were closer Shannon. At least can chat here altogether.

We are supposed to get more snow here and already have piles left from the last storms. I am looking forward to Spring. I love the seasons but sometimes get tired of certain ones a lot faster than the time it takes for them to change over.

It's nice having you here chatting Jedidiah I know you've been lonely hauled up in that hospital. I did enjoy coming to visit and liked meeting you. You'll have to share some of those pictures you took. My crew is looking forward to your getting better enough to come for a house tour.

Mike have you thought about what it is you would like to do besides driving and watching over the deceased? Having well paying jobs right now is a good thing because like you know the market is rough out there.

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I invited Luna to join us I think we need another nice female to round out things. I know Mike does not mind does anyone else mind?

Hotspot I had great time meeting you and your crew they are nice guys. I really want to check out the firehouse. I am going to be here a while.

Shannon, I wish you lived closer than you could come hang out with all of us. Talking here is better than not though.

Mike, I would like to know what other jobs you are interested in.

I think we should all take turns riding Domino. Shannon can saddle him up for us. I would like to go first.

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I don't mind Luna joining in at all, I enjoy chatting with her,,,yeah that way I won't be the token female..hehe. I mostly post now on a thread she started,,"weekends together", and occasionally post in urgent and welcome a new member, I have my old thread, but other than that I have been keeping to myself on the forums. need the break and I like it better here.

Hey mike maybe I will change my avatar to my new horse, well not new, but I had a partnership in owning her, well now she is all mine...I think she and Domino would look fantastic together, her name is Shea and she is a big black and white pinto.

Hotspot,,,Its like spring already here, still raining on and off but the last couple of days it got almost 60 degrees out. I can't wait for it to start staying light out longer. Jedidiah..sound like you are taking a very strong interest in the firefighting, I hope you can get out and visit Hotspots crew soon.

PS Hotspot..maybe somday we can figure out a way to exchange fire department patches. what da ya think.

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Hello Everyone :-)

Errrr, I just received a very ...um... very enthusiastic welcome from the moderator at the door. :) Does anyone have a towel I can use? (Is this a kind of initiation rite?) :(

I want to be very sure it’s fine with everyone that I’m here because I don’t want to intrude. (OK, I've just read the comments and I see it is, thanks.)

I’m so, so glad you got back together. You had such a great thing going there. I was eavesdropping and keeping up with your new kid, Hotspot, (how is he?) and with Domino and the gravestone and the very rude aide on the bus, and with your horses and unusual wheels, Shannon, and so on. I am also very happy not to lose touch with you, Jedidiah (How are you? What’s been happening?).

Domino is one SERIOUS puppy!! :eek: He looks a bit like an over-sized Dalmatian in the picture. He must be great company.:o I can just imagine him stealing balls from your pool table.

It's summer here and today was too hot for me. It's evening now and finally cooling down a bit. :-)

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So glad to see you here Luna, now I am not the only female on here, not that I mind, these guys have been treating me good and also have been very patient with me.

I call Domino the wonder dog. He's super I can tell.

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Good to see everyone has made it Luna slobbering love removal towels are to the right of the doorway

Domino has to greet everyone its kind of his job being Blog Mod and all. He is a super pooch and superb company he is huge but very gentle and likes to play and cuddle hes also fairly well trained hes gonna be getting his canine good citzen certificate come Spring/summer time here

He is still fasinated by that one headstone I had found out its the grave of a 9/11 victim but it isnt the only one in the cemetery so still is odd that he drawn to that one Hotspot was gonna look more into who the guy is but then everything went haywire here and never really found out more

Jedidiah is real sick today they still have not been able to do the final surgery he needs hes unhappy about still being in the hospital but hes gotta get stronger before they can fix him up

Id like to see your horsey shannon we could use 2 horseys to ride here

so how is everyone doin? It makes me happy that we are all here again wonderin how Hotspot and his clan of kids are doin. Im gonna drive the old people around tomorrow busy day lots of pickups but then its gonna snow on Wed if it does I wont have to go into work gotta love the paid bad weather days

My boss at the cemetery likes that I have not taken off yet most that have had my job only last a few weekends There are creepy things that happen around there but I like gettin paid and havin Domino with me. Might get more hours during the warmer months too because lots of teens like to hangout at the cemetery to drink and destroy things added money would be nice I got lots of things for my house and yard planned

I gotta go see the shrink tomorrow before work Domino comes bet he is first doggy to get therapy

Im not sure what else Id like to do as career just wonderin more whether or not drivin all over is thing I really want to do for next 20 years

oh and shannon why trade patches with hotspot why not get a nice helmet instead they are cool when hotspot brought his crew to see Jedidiah we both got to try on regular FF helmet and a Captains and Hotspots LT one all the same but different colors areound the number maybe a nice scuba pack would be nice too me and Jedidiah got tshirts and sweatshirts and collector action figures and we had party hero with salads Hotspots crew is very nice when Jedidiah is better we are both gonna go for tour of house

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I tried to change my avatar pic to my horse, but I seem to be having trouble with that...?? got the original one on there with no problem.

I think its great that Domino goes to the shrink with you, bet he tries to mediate there too. My shrink has his dog in his office a big black Newfoundland type.

I hope Jedidiah gets to feeling better so that all this can be far behind him and he and you can go enjoy yourselves at the firehouse, maybe when he is better all three of you can research the headstone.

I am curious too as to how Hotspots new kid is doing. I don't think my chief has an extra helmet I can trade, mine is blue and is a captain helmet, its be a couple of years since I was active in the department, wondering if I can even get my SCBA on in record time like I use too. We might have T-shirts though.

Hope you have a good day driving the old folks around and that the mean ole assistance stay away.

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Nice to see you Luna, it's a good thing you got here because we were about to send Domino out after you. :eek:

It isn't as cold here as it had been but it's no where near 60. We are about to get pounded again so, can just add to the 3-7ft piles all around.

Anyway, I've got tons of patches both pre and post 9/11 ones. I've got tons of everything really. Exchanging use to be a very big thing done. My crew and I did give Jedidiah and Mike many things when we visited.

As for my new kid he is doing about the same. He was given another foster case worker, them being changed often isn't anything new. Unfortunately this new one isn't any better.

I did look into the name you gave me Mike of the grave Domino is fascinated with. It's the grave of a Port Authority Officer killed on 9/11. I was able to find out several things about the man and some not so, pleasant things. Not sure if I should really get into here. Don't want to depress anyone further.

Did you decide on a fence or blocks for the yard? I hope those kids aren't feeding Domino anymore gummy bears.

I was playing chess with Jedidiah earlier he is really good. I will visit him later in the week.

I have to say it's nice having us all back together.

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Im having trouble sleeping,,Im still up, mom mumbling in her sleep isn't helping either.

Hotspot, as curious as I am about the headstone of the guy that Domino is interested in I will let you be the judge as to what should be shared.

Im glad you saw Jedidiah, is he doing better then? Mike said he was feeling sick, I hope he's doing better.

I have been checking out the new members posts, there seems to be a rise in domestic violence issues, brings out the advocate in me.

im glad we are back together too. This was a good idea.

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It is a quarter after 2 here and I am up after dealing with the new kid for almost 3hrs straight.

Sorry, you are not sleeping well either.

I was playing online chess with Jedidiah, he isn't doing well but was up for a couple of games. He is a good kid anything I can do to lift his spirits a little I try to.

There is a line I find hard to know when to cross here. I don't talk about a lot of stuff because of how I don't want to effect others. I do wonder however, if Domino is sensing what I found out. Dogs and animals in general are such keen observers. They are able to see, hear and feel things way before if ever we do.

I read some of todays posts it's good if you can offer something to those people hurting

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I can't help but try to offer those in Domestic violence situations some help...whether woman or man..no one deserves to be in a relationship like that.

Now I am really curious about the gravestone/Domino thing...maybe if you share just kinda what its about in some way...I don't know...I think I could handle it..I know that my last reaction to everything has you wondering..but I seem to be abe to handle the big crisis' better than the small...I can stand in the middle of murder scene and be fine,,,my friends in turmoil thats another story.

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hi people

sucks you guys are havin sleepin problems I too think its good you can help others here shannon I dont read all that many posts and well those I do sometimes just dont have nothin to give I also dont do good with groups and groups especially of so many I dont even know so will leave the supportin others out there to you and the others ok with doin that

hotspot whats wrong with the kid that you spent 3 hours with him?

Luna must of really gotten slobbered see nothin else here from her Jedidiah is comin and goin they got him on so many drugs

I wanna know what you found out about the guys grave I can take it not much is ever too much for me and I am curous to figure out why my big guy is into that grave

I decided to go with sider blocks instead of a fence was gonna get the nice weather resistant fence but the ordinance codes will only allow up to 6ft and I really hate my neighbor to one side the one with the kids thankfully our houses arent on top of each other but the yards connectin sucks Ive been thinkin a lot about callin child welfare on her she doesnt take care of those kids had my lawyer look into my property some more turns out that where their fence is isnt where the property line should be its jipping me out of little more than 3ft on thta side I had lawyer send her letter she called him back drunk cursin him out I have very large yard already but my property line is mine and if she wasnt such a pain in the ass I probably wouldnt make anything out of the line

Last week I had the hidden survelience cameras outside put up cost a pretty penny but will be good to have anything and everything recorded this way when her kids make my dog sick can get her to pay the vet bills also when it gets warmer and she has her backyard parties will have proof that the beer cans she and or friends toss over are from her Gotta make sure my big kid is safe I so miss my old neighbors they were great they sold house moved to Florida

All I know is come spring time the fence is comin down and sider blocks are goin up its odd how can only have 6ft fence but blocks can be up to 10ft Im gonna have nice mural painted on my side once they are up

Took the old people to supermarket they were stockin up for the storm comin had wheelchair guy and lady today they are good friends i think theyd make good couple they should hook up it was also dr day lots of the old people got dropped off or picked up from their drs

Domino went to counseling this morning its neat your shrink has big doggy in office shannon my big guy plays with his toy and lays down when he isnt being petted by the old shrink who seems to really like him everyone wants to give him treats I gotta watch that other wise hes gonna get fat I gotta get him some new snow booties all the salt bein put down hurts his paws and he outgrew his old ones

some lady was standin outside supermarket with box of kittens tryin to give them away I can understand needin to find them homes but to not even know who shes given them to or where theyd go bothered me

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It makes me happy to see everyone talking again. I missed reading how everyone is doing and what they have been involved in.

I do need to ask is there an easier way to get here? In order for me to get here I have to go to Mike's profile page than to his Blog. This is not difficult but a little tedious. I am not feeling well perhaps making everything appear harder.

Shannon, I sure wish you had a better support system to help you care for yourself and mother. I know you are busy however, did you have a chance to contact any of the local Churches or Synagogues Hotspot had mentioned? How about some of those other links for organizations his wife provided? It is difficult for me to understand why no one is stepping up to help out. I wish you lived closer because if you did once I am feeling better I would help you. In my community everyone helps each other no one is ever alone. The more assistance someone needs the more everyone rallies to aid. Out here too much is about money, priorities seem quite skewed. I think you are quite strong doing what you are all alone.

I was watching the News and they had entire report about people taking advantage of the public support systems. I am confused and hurt hearing this. People getting assistance under varies different names, claiming children that are not theirs or do not even exist. It made me think of you and a few other people in situations of real need doing without.

Hotspot, I enjoy playing Chess with you, you are quite good at it. Thanks for helping me pass the time. I really am sad and frightened being in this hospital which feels like a prison to me. I have not seen my parents and only received a short letter.

I had hoped to use this time to continue to work and explore this part of the world. My time is ticking away as I am stuck here. My counselor has managed to get me involved in some online classes through the University and I am grateful. It is not the same as sitting in the classes. I have many visitors mostly I wish they would take me with them when they leave.

Mike, a 10 foot cinder block wall all around your backyard wow. I gather then you will not have to see any of your neighbors. What kind of mural are you thinking of having put up? It must be very nice to own your own home. I am looking forward to your bringing me to see it. How is therapy going?

Luna, how are you doing? What kinds of things have you been keeping busy with?

Oh Hotspot, I really would like to know what you found out about the headstone Domino is drawn to. With so, many graves there must be something extra special about that one.

I have been a little behind in reading my private messages here. I just started reading a few sent from several weeks ago. One in particular was upsetting. I am not sure how to take it really. I would like to believe the person that sent it meant well. Sometimes people say or write things without thinking it through I believe.

I am tired I need to rest now goodbye my friends.

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Luna, when you have time and are up to posting is good enough. No one is mandated to post or should feel obligated to. I know I'll listen whenever you are up to posting as I'm sure we all here would be.

I can disappear for days sometimes other times I am so, beat that typing anything is impossible. There is also a lot I don't post about at all. My counselor keeps telling me I need to talk more..as if there is some switch I can just hit.

Ya know I've wondered also if you had a chance to look into any of the support I mentioned Shannon. I didn't want to keep asking coming across as hounding however. I feel for you and your situation and truly wish I could do more. This is one of the parts of online relationships that bothers me. There is only so, much words can do. Sometimes a person needs a pat on the back or a hug or actual real help and words to me can come off as not being good enough.

Mike, a 10ft wall Jesus some might think you are trying to bunker yourself in. :o Thankfully I get along well with most of my neighbors. We have block parties and put up with the noise and havoc of each other's children. If this neighbor you speak of is really neglecting her children do not hesitate calling to report it. Often times everyone wants to mind their own business or not get involved and it is the children that suffer. Calling your attorney drunk shows she has little if any self control. I probably wouldn't quiver over a few feet wrong over a property line if I got along with the neighbor either.

Jedidiah, I enjoy playing Chess with you. I've been playing since I was around 4-5 years old. I find it hard to locate many that know how to play. My Grandfather and father both taught me. Over the years I've taught many of the kids coming through my home. I will visit sometime this weekend.

Anyway, spending 3hrs straight with my new kid isn't anything out of the ordinary. He often has fright tantrums, severe nightmares etc and holding him and or attempting to redirect his attention depending on the level of upset is what needs to be done. Without doing so, he could harm himself. He really is traumatized and dissociates often. He forgets where he is, his name what year it is etc Sometimes he has very vivid memories and thinks he is being abused right now. It is difficult to deal with him and the other kids. My wife and I are literally spent emotionally with all that he has been through and continues to go through. His intensive therapy is helping but it is going to be a while before many things are worked out. It feels like he has been with us for quite a while but he's only been here 8 or 9 weeks.

On the topic of the cemetery and the headstone. From everything I've been able to find out well the basics are that like many from that day not all of their remains were able to be recovered. I worked those piles for months after and the number of parts I located and helped bag were too many anyway, the man buried is not entirely there. I don't know if Domino is picking that up or what it might be that draws him to that particular grave. Not being entirely there and the "spirit world" who knows what vibes are coming from the grave.

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Man,, I think my post on here was to long...I had to log back in after I was done...then I lost the reply...bummer.

now I am to tired to remember what I typed to everyone..Hotspot, you are not hounding me, sometimes I need that to get motivated, I have to apply for grants through those sites,,a work in progress. I find the gravesite thing interesting, Domino maybe picking up on a restless soul..who knows

Jediah...you got me thinking about our society and the way it is today..you are so right...it is even changed since I was a kid, then I think all the neighbors and friends would be over all the time, now I don't even see family...no one has the time to spare..makes me sad our society has gotten this way...At least I have you guys.

brodman..I saw on one of our local channels the pet of the week segmant..A great dane named Wally up for adoption, he is mostly black with white on his chest and paws..if I didn't already have my hands full..but Im sure he will find a home fast, he was beautiful.

I hope everyone has a good night.:o

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