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Letting go


Waiting

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After the initial calm I achieved this morning the day went bad. My anxiety built and we got news that was no where near where I wanted. Maybe I will get money, maybe not. No reinstatement. No career back on track.

I decided to give up. Not to stop things, just to give up hope for justice and just try for best and accept what happens. Wasn't like a light switch, but I began to feel good. I talked with a good friend and things just clicked into place. I was the old me or the closest I have been for a long time. My daughter noted that I have been depressed for as long as she can remember.

That didn't hit me as sad news but good news.

I hope it is not mania and I have found a path.

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Hello again,

This post seem so optimistic (I'm sure it was not a sign of mania!) and I'm sorry the one written today is so sad again :D... But this can be seen as a progress - you already can be in a better mood for some time. Today it's gone, but surely not forever. I hope you'll have more moments/periods like this one, soon... :(

I see your giving up hope for justice as a good way to go (I'm not sure at all if it's really/objectively good, but me, I like this kind of attitudes in situations like this one - when the decision doesn't depend on you.).

By the way (I'm not sure if I've asked that already, but probably not); have you read something Victor E. Frankl (the founder of existential analysis and logotherapy)? I don't know if you'd like him, but... many, including me, appreciate very much his approach toward suffering and the way he explains how to find the right attitude when facing something inevitable and unchangeable. Maybe you could find some support and inspirations in his book(s)...

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Here are some references:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viktor_Frankl

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man%27s_Search_for_Meaning

I'm not sure if the book I've read is called in English "Man's search for meaning" or "The Will to Meaning" (-these are two different books). I suppose it was the 2nd one. But I don't think it's very important which I recommend - you can see on the web and then decide what you like the most.

By the way, my inbox is already ready for new messages ;). I'm quite curious what you wrote to me at the weekend... ;).

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It's OK if you don't find it ;). It means it wasn't urgent and "too important". (But I'm still curious ;).)

It was on Monday (so not the weekend).

I know how to look at send messages (when you're for instance looking at your inbox, then there is, up, a "line" with "Inbox" and there you can select through the arrowhead "Send items"), but I don't know it those that did not reach the recipient are saved there...

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