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I am still calm, but my mood had declined today someone.

I think i just figured it out.

I am lonely.

I have been apart from her for long time now. Last week I learned she left me and I missed her and was horribly sad.

I am still sad, but I am beginning to accept it, but I am now deeply lonely. I think it is the realization that when my trial is done there will be no one here for me. No one to comfort and be comforted by. That leads to to a seeing more of the same in the future.

I am a romantic. I desperately miss what we had. I am bad at meeting people and I am usual and like unusual people. I am terribly shy at initiating relationships.

I am trying to focus past it, but maybe I need to let it overwhelm me first.

All I know is I am lonely.

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