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Learning to Accept That Which I Cannot Change....


Jenna520

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My problem at last. Clear as it can be as it sits before my face in full view for the first time. I can't fix, erase, change things that has occurred.

I can't change the fact Charlie is gone. I can't change the fact he didn't tell me he was struggling with addiction. I can't put on my cape and tights and save all those struggling with addiction with my super hero powers. I don't have the knowledge or the ability to get through. I have got to accept that now, or forever spend my life trying to do the impossible.

I cannot change what I have become. I'm depressed, I'm anxious, and suffering from either severe grief or PTSD. Maybe both. I've got to accept that too.

I cannot change the cruel words that have left me so insecure of myself. I can not change fearing things that have happened to me over and over again.

Instead of trying to change all the hand I've been dealt, and crying about it, I'm just going to have to move on and learn to cope.

I need to quit kidding myself by thinking that happiness is just out reach, when it left out of sight a long time ago. Misery is my new state of mind. Deal with it, cope with it, adapt to it.

I can't help other people, if I can't even help myself. I've got to accept that which I cannot change.

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One thing that depression can do is distort one's thoughts.

Misery is my new state of mind. Deal with it' date=' cope with it, adapt to it.

[/quote']

It's true that you can't change the fact that your brother has passed away. You also can't change others who are addicted to drugs.

But...

You can feel better. This state of mind and your feeling so badly can change. I know it's hard to see right now, but things can improve.

Is there any way you can get some professional help through assistance?

I'm sorry you're hurting so badly, Jenna. I hope you will keep fighting and trying to heal.

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I've been approved for Medicaid, I'm just waiting on the card to come. It should arrive any day now. I'll be calling Monday to make an appointment with my therapist since it takes a week or so to get in.

Acceptance is something I lack. I'd like to think I'm not denying the obvious things in life, but since I'm not accepting, I must be in denial.

I can't continue to beat myself up over those things which I cannot change. The sooner I learn to accept that, the better off I'll be.

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In general, I agree with you, Jenna, and I'm glad to see you decided to find an acceptance (hopefully a right kind of it!), but in the one thing, IJ is right - you can get rid of the misery, of the bad feelings. Moreover, I don't agree with this:

I can't help other people, if I can't even help myself.

It might be true in some cases, but not in general. You can be helpful and provide lots of positives things to others, even when you can't help yourself at the moment.

Good luck with your therapy and healing!!!

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