dual identity. sometimes I am my genuine self, but at others I let people walk all over me or I do the damage to myself. Switching not predictable or controllable. Most of the day I have been good ralph but in the morning I was not. Romanticizing death. In danger of doing something bad, but careful to avoid the opportunity. Interesting things in my head. For a while the multiple channels at the same time stopped, but now it's back. It happened so gradually I didn't notice it when it went away but now that it's back I notice it was gone for a while. Glad to be free of that for some time even if it was temporary. Wish I knew how to get back there again, but it can be entertaining when you have nothing better to do. Feels like I have written that before.