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Blog Ralph

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Jagged edges


Ralph

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Images are starting to resolve. It's something I don't want to remember. I did a lot of work in the beginning to forget. Maybe this means I'm ready to deal with it now. I'm afraid of taking this on before I am ready, but even more afraid of continuing to go on with this formless panic just beneath the relatively normal front I put on. I'm not getting any younger and it feels important. I'm not going to wish to know what "it" is, for fear of the answer. I'm going to find out eventually somehow.

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i cant imagine how wearing it must be to be living with this 'unknown'. just reading your blog makes me anxious...except in my 'B' plot movie script mind, i keep imagining you saying "i know what it is...I was abducted by aliens!"

=j

try not to dwell Ralph, itll just make you more anxious.

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I think the images are flashbacks that don't fully form, which I think is due to the meds and therapy. Not all the memories are bad, but nevertheless all seem to be pointing to something "back there" that is too complicated to put into words. I'm not sure if it even matters or if this is just my brain misfiring.

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I hear you, Ralph. External social and therapy support helped me when the internal support for withstanding the … whatevers .. was lacking. You CAN make it. It will be OK. You will be together with yourself and able to walk and function as a whole person. It will be different, but OK.

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