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purpose and belonging


Ralph

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As I get better I find the feeling that I need to find a new purpose to my life. The question is, does one decide on a direction and run with it, or is there a true purpose that is discovered? Along with this goes a feeling of isolation. I don't know what I'm doing with my life so I don't know whom to associate with.

I miss my friends back home. I miss the energy of being in a place that I love. Yet I can't push myself to find a job back home quite yet. I've also searched for jobs where my boyfriend is but am feeling a bit under qualified for the jobs that I've seen advertised. Again the question of what do I want to do with my life arises - if I knew this I would know how to proceed but am paralyzed by indecision.

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I'm so glad you're continuing to get better!

I have had some of the same questions about belonging and purpose. For me, I'm about to decide that "I" can't decide that. It's very frustrating but for me it seems like it just has to come out of my everyday existence in the world. Maybe that's it -- belonging and purpose are a JOINT result of me and the world.

I can understand why you may not be ready to put yourself back home yet, despite the good things. Remaining family issues and memories? And the jobs where your boyfriend is -- well, you can't know for sure until you apply -- and apply and apply and get used to getting rejected until -- one day, maybe you won't be!!!

But even the indecision about going back to a place that you love or to the place where there is a person whom you love -- Yeah, I can understand that, too.

You're doing so well, though! This (indecision) too will pass. Well, we don't know for sure but . . . One day at a time!! :)

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