Happy New Year!

Happy new year!

Some of my teachers made it seem like we'd never make it out of their classrooms alive. ;-)

To me, the idea that nobody gets out alive makes us seem like shooting stars, or fireworks. Doesn't it make you want to burn brightly, knowing that your light won't last forever? That doesn't mean it's easy; I often feel like my fuse is a little damp, but ... I still want it to be lit.

Good (and old...) question. One of my "life-puzzles": Why my answer is NO, when "everybody" says that it should logically be YES? How to change my NO to YES? I can't feel the motivation to "shine/...". I don't feel or think it matters to me (if I burn just almost without any light or "like a firework"). Even knowing that I "should" think it does. When I'm trying to think so, it brings only the feeling that it's impossible and trying would only take the time which could be spend for trying to lead a quiet, "unseen", ordinary, useless, ... and mainly harmless life.

Now you'll probably ask why I suppose that trying to "shine" could not include a harmless, quiet, "unseen", ordinary, ... life. So I have to say that... I know it could. I just don't feel any motivation to try to find out how to achieve it, how to succeed. I often even can't think that I should know it and that it would be better to find my own "yes answer" to that question.

I know; complicated. And hopelessly-looking. But when I'm not in a bad mood, I don't care. (I should; or ... should I?)

For me, it's about wanting to be seen, known and remembered. That feeling runs very deep. "Shining," I think, is about being in touch with yourself and your light, your gifts....being true to yourself. Maybe some self-love too?

Maybe, LaLa, this is the space you're in right now. Your own 'yes answer' would be what's best for you, I agree. I hope you're okay.

I read somewhere that the world did in fact end on December 21st; we just don't know it yet because the government is covering it up. :-)