Jump to content
Mental Support Community

Blog Ralph

  • entries
  • comments
  • views




Well, I didn't stay sober this weekend but I didn't make myself sick either. I didn't day-drink on Saturday like the past two weekends. The result is that I didn't have panic on Saturday although I did face depression that felt like a train running through my apartment. Mostly it's because I miss my boyfriend.

I went to lunch with my meditation group and that felt good. Beats eating alone. Then we all went our separate ways and the good feeling went away. I guess I need to be around people, although I am probably the most introverted person I know. I don't want to be the life of the party, I just want to be invited.

I've been thinking lately about life and death and what does it all mean. I'm trying to create my own meaning for life and coming up short. The only reason I don't commit suicide is to avoid hurting those around me, but that doesn't leave me with much of anything positive to do. Depression has taken away my interest in just about everything. I need a reason to live that suggests a direction for my life. I need interests, I need at least a hobby or two.

1 Comment

Recommended Comments

Sounds really like a progress!! :)

It's great that you can have dinner with the meditation group, at least sometimes. Maybe sometimes it might be you who would initiate/propose such a meeting (?)...

Do you have some ideas about possible hobbies? Would it be possible to find some people who'd like to play music with you sometimes? Just for fun (= not necessarily concerts ;)). Maybe one idea: You might find an on-line course to add an activity, mainly to your weekends. There are quite many available (for free): https://class.coursera.org - maybe something will catch your attention and you'll like it when you'll become involved. Each course has also a discussion forum where the students communicate a lot - that might be an easy way to "kind of be around people" when you need it and nobody is "available" at the moment - moreover, discussing different topics than depression or alcohol...

Link to comment

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...