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Still drinking even though I try not to. I keep making myself sick but don't seem to learn my lesson. I'm worried now about what will happen if this doesn't change. I'm scared I'll do something stupid when drunk and not be able to handle the consequences. I'm so depressed and anxious right now. I'm starting to think that drinking is causing some of the panic I've been feeling on the weekends. Of course not drinking puts me in full contact with my depression, isolation, and regret, which is probably why I do it in the first place. I want to stop but I have yet to keep my resolve when Friday night comes around. So I'm going to come back and read this on Friday, see if having it in writing helps.

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Maybe when you're in full contact with your depression, isolation, and regret, it's time to do something else ...

I imagine there are places that need volunteers to help out on Friday nights; that's just one idea.

We have to be in full contact with the things we need to change, or how will we change them? The trick is to use the contact productively, instead of as retribution against ourselves for having got into the situation in the first place.

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