Jump to content
Mental Support Community

Blog Ralph

  • entries
    280
  • comments
    998
  • views
    5,086

Sway


Ralph

139 views

I'm making progress toward setting goals, but it's slow. It occurs to me that this is an improvement though because a few weeks ago the idea of even thinking about goals was beyond my grasp. Still need to find a direction in life. I have taken the time to define some values that I want to prioritize, the next step is to make goals that express these values.

Still sober, 40 days now. Not even sure why I'm doing this anymore. I mean I have my reasons written down, but they seemed much more meaningful when I made the decision to stop. Now I miss the escape that alcohol afforded, and the "wrongness" of it - as if I was getting back at society by self destructing. That and it was a miniature suicide, killing myself one brain cell at a time.

Now that I'm not drinking, I think about drinking even more than I did before. Trying to manage urges without drinking, and planning my life around avoiding situations that might be too tempting. Of course being at home is the most tempting situation and I can't avoid that. I also think about suicide more now. I'm ambivalent about the whole thing. Main problem is I haven't changed my lifestyle at all to have something replace the time spent on drinking, so I spend the time obsessing over it instead of doing it. I know what I need to do. I don't seem to have the courage or the motivation to do it.

3 Comments


Recommended Comments

Congratulations on your days sober, Ralph. I hear you when you say it doesn't feel like it counts for much right now. It is so very hard to change the climate inside one's head. Would changing scenery help at all this weekend?

2441534775_bf02a006b9.jpg

Link to comment

It would help to change scenery. I only wish I knew what to change the scenery too. No matter, significant other is coming to visit in a week. Maybe I can go somewhere with him.

Link to comment

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...