I'm sorry for this pain, Andromeda

(((A)))

As you've probably already noticed, I replied to your post by e-mail. I don't know what else to say, just that... I'm thinking of you...

Do you have any friends or other family you can share your feelings with? A counselor? I hope you are able to get some support at home. Sounds very stressful.

I have friends,but I dont think I have to bother them.Its not so important and I dont want to depressed them

Sharing our feelings, problems, ... with friends make us closer to them, it can make our "bond" (/friendship) stronger. Sharing something we usually try to hide is a proof of trust/confidence and most people value to be trusted. That's my perspective.

Why would they be "depressed" (if you shared your problems)? I suppose that the only (or main?) reason they could have would be feeling helpless; they would like to help you, to change your situation, but they couldn't. But if you tell them (probably already in the beginning?) what you need from them - that it's "nothing more than" their presence, the possibility to talk about what's causing you distress - then they could feel even quite good - for offering this help to you .

Moreover, you don't have to "only use them to vent your problems" (obviously, I know)! You can also spend some nice time with them - before and/or after having such private talk, you can do some activity together - if nothing more, then "at least" a nice walk in a nice place (nature, park, ... or a shopping mall ;-P (-if you are of those who can enjoy that) ?). But it seems to me that when you refuse talking to a friend, it's also because you imagine it only as a separate situation (= without context) - nothing more than just a difficult serious dialogue. But the "before and/or after" can be fine and even make you (both) feel better.

What do you think?

What if helping you with your problems helped your friends too? Have you ever experienced that yourself, that when someone gives you something else to think about, your own problems fade for a while? Too, I know that I have often gained new insights into my own problems while helping someone on the site. Even when the problem was that I didn't think I was much help ...

You also might find that money problems in families are not that uncommon. Maybe some of their parents are in the same trouble, and they are trying not to bother you with their problems ...