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Anniversaries - How You Know Time Is Passing


malign

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This is probably appropriate for a New Year's post ...

Ten years ago December 30th, I checked myself into a locked psych ward, feeling depressed and suicidal.  The amusing thing is how quickly I felt better, isolated away from my ex.  By the third or fourth day, folks around me were clamoring to get out;  I was quite content in there.

I still had to go back, and stayed with her for just over a year more.  But, though I had some periods of depression that year, I found that I had begun to figure out that some things aren't worth what I was paying.  And that's one heck of a useful lesson, right there:  know what you can afford, what your limits are, when to stop struggling, acceptance of what you cannot change.

Which brings up another memory of the hospital, one of my favorite:  a woman who was there for alcohol detox wrote out on an index card for me the Alcoholics Anonymous Serenity Prayer (they borrowed it;  it existed before.)  I still carry it in my wallet, folded in half and ragged along the edge, as a reminder.  Whatever you think of AA, or of prayers, it does contain a valuable message.

     God, grant me

     Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

     Courage to change the ones I can, and

     Wisdom to know the difference.

Acceptance, Courage, and Wisdom.  Quite a toolkit.

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