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I wish I could just give up...


Blossom

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I'm finding life very hard at the moment. Everything is changing and I can't handle it. Why come whenever something good happens to me it always has to end?? I don't want to be alive any more. It's too hard. I'm so confused - I don't know what direction I should be heading in. My heart feels sad:(

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I know it sucks. I wish I could take that part away, but I can't.

And it doesn't mean you're not making a breakthrough; it just might be a different breakthrough than you thought.

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For the first time ever I actually told someone face to face about how horrible I've been feeling (under the influence of alcohol but I'm still glad I did it) and it made me feel so much better to talk to her because she(one of my tutors) had similar problems when she was younger and it felt like someone understood me for once but now my course is finished forever at the end of the week and I'll go back to having noone to talk to and I feel like I'm moving backwards after making this giant leap..

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Do you not have any way to keep in touch with her? I know I have a hard time remaining in contact with people, but that's one thought. The other is, why not capitalize on the success of this first experiment, and try to talk to other people? Maybe you won't need the alcohol, this time. ;-)

After I had been under pressure for several weeks, with the divorce process just having begun, I managed to talk to my supervisor at work. He was very sympathetic, even though he had never gone through it himself, and it changed my attitude towards opening up to people. Well, it changed it a little, anyway. ;-) Enough to sugggest it to you.

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I hope I can stay in contact with her but I don't want to seem clingy and annoying or anything! Someday I hope to be able to talk to other people about me but right now it takes me a long time to gain someone's trust and I find it difficult to talk to people I don't know well enough..

I'm glad you were able to talk to someone aswel!

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Perhaps sometime you can drop her a line or an email to meet for coffee? You can thank your tutor for her understanding when she listened to some of your troubles, and how you are grateful to her as you do not have very many opportunities to share your thoughts with others.

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