I am happy now, most of the time. But jeez, sometimes Y's 'jokes' aren't funny.

I am seeing my guy tonight... I don't no why I a so on edge. I think I must be getting my periods soon [sorry for the imagery guys]. I have pimple too [ya, still do at my age *sigh*]...clear indication... Anyway, He texted me saying "can't go see Bruno" [ya, we're going to see this stupid movie. Hey, I like my stupid movies. And I do laugh like an idiot to at them. It is what it is...]. So instantly, I say instantly, I got angry. I talk a lot about a right to be angry. Sure, but to let it known to the other party, well, that's another story. Choose your battles they say. Rightly so, but regardless.

I get instantly upset. It must go back to way back when... unreliable parents and all, probably. the fear of rejection. Most probably. I can't deal with last minute cancellations. I have a truly hard time dealing with cancellations at all. It's not me it's YOU. I rapidly go there.

BUT, he was joking... I called him up, ten seconds after he text [can you say needy?] ugh. And I am like; so, what's the deal? He says, wow, that didn't take long. I said yah, had the phone in my pocket. hu-huh. sure. Not like I've been prepping myself for the past hour. checking the phone every 15 minutes.

He said, well, I just finished my last job [he's a freelance mechanic, has his own garage]. I think I am goingto make it, I need food. We can go to that lil resto we always go too, if you're not tired of it. I say, no that's ok, like an idiot. I wanted to go to another resto that takes longer to server, but we're not going to make it to the show otherwise. I try to hide my anger... But I am sure my disapointment showed a bit.

He adds, oh and can you bring the signs you made for me... Ok, so, he's not going to stay at my place tonight I think... Oh lord!

Stop! Stop right there!

Hum, why would he invite himself over? That's perfectly fine isn't it.

He's just a little crappy at organisatino skills. I can't say I am better. It's just that I'm used to english guys, I guess. M and C always called ahead, where never late... but what am I complaining about. He's better than them so far. Ok, he hasn't give me a compliment yet... He makes stupid jokes. but I have fun with him. And he's not a scruge like M.

I don't want to be a princess, but I want to be treated right. And I hate alusion to cancelation. It's the second time he makes that joke. and in all fairness, it's only because I saw the Andrea competition at the gym yesterday, and I heard her talking to her friend saying "y"'s got it dialed... the boat is in perfect order now, you should come along, we;e going on sunday... grrrrr. Why is she in the picture? And when she saw me she said "oh hey, hi, omg, why do you have black eyes? Oh no sorry... You don't..so goooood to seee youuuuu'' me: thinking uh-uh, I know you don't like me. B* I know I have circles under my eyes. It runs in the family. Ya, I know you're pretty. F* off.

What can I say. I get like that.