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wow. it doesn't take much



I am happy now, most of the time. But jeez, sometimes Y's 'jokes' aren't funny.

I am seeing my guy tonight... I don't no why I a so on edge. I think I must be getting my periods soon [sorry for the imagery guys]. I have pimple too [ya, still do at my age *sigh*]...clear indication... Anyway, He texted me saying "can't go see Bruno" [ya, we're going to see this stupid movie. Hey, I like my stupid movies. And I do laugh like an idiot to at them. It is what it is...]. So instantly, I say instantly, I got angry. I talk a lot about a right to be angry. Sure, but to let it known to the other party, well, that's another story. Choose your battles they say. Rightly so, but regardless.

I get instantly upset. It must go back to way back when... unreliable parents and all, probably. the fear of rejection. Most probably. I can't deal with last minute cancellations. I have a truly hard time dealing with cancellations at all. It's not me it's YOU. I rapidly go there.

BUT, he was joking... I called him up, ten seconds after he text [can you say needy?] ugh. And I am like; so, what's the deal? He says, wow, that didn't take long. I said yah, had the phone in my pocket. hu-huh. sure. Not like I've been prepping myself for the past hour. checking the phone every 15 minutes.

He said, well, I just finished my last job [he's a freelance mechanic, has his own garage]. I think I am goingto make it, I need food. We can go to that lil resto we always go too, if you're not tired of it. I say, no that's ok, like an idiot. I wanted to go to another resto that takes longer to server, but we're not going to make it to the show otherwise. I try to hide my anger... But I am sure my disapointment showed a bit.

He adds, oh and can you bring the signs you made for me... Ok, so, he's not going to stay at my place tonight I think... Oh lord!

Stop! Stop right there!

Hum, why would he invite himself over? That's perfectly fine isn't it.

He's just a little crappy at organisatino skills. I can't say I am better. It's just that I'm used to english guys, I guess. M and C always called ahead, where never late... but what am I complaining about. He's better than them so far. Ok, he hasn't give me a compliment yet... He makes stupid jokes. but I have fun with him. And he's not a scruge like M.

I don't want to be a princess, but I want to be treated right. And I hate alusion to cancelation. It's the second time he makes that joke. and in all fairness, it's only because I saw the Andrea competition at the gym yesterday, and I heard her talking to her friend saying "y"'s got it dialed... the boat is in perfect order now, you should come along, we;e going on sunday... grrrrr. Why is she in the picture? And when she saw me she said "oh hey, hi, omg, why do you have black eyes? Oh no sorry... You don't..so goooood to seee youuuuu'' me: thinking uh-uh, I know you don't like me. B* I know I have circles under my eyes. It runs in the family. Ya, I know you're pretty. F* off.

What can I say. I get like that.


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that's okay tour, we all get like that, at least I certainly do. I know on Saturday I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, turns out I got my friend as well, it can be a relief, you know? Like oh thank God there's something adding to it, this isn't permanent. I hope your date goes well anyway, despite your mood, bruno will make you laugh :)

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Hey, you kept it cleaner than I would have. You put the *'s in, and everything. ;-)

Tour, tell him what you like and don't like. That's not needy, that's the only way he's ever going to know. Take it from me. Boyfriends aren't mind-readers, typically, and wouldn't you hate it if we were. :-)

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Ahah! Well, I did tell him. I said, you know, I took it for 'cash' when you wrote you couldn't come, I was a bit upset...He said, oh sorry, that one wasn't funny huh? I said 'nop' with a smile. He said 'ah, I didn't mean to upset you. I won't do it again. But I will tease you again... I know, I said.

The movie was baaaad. Not super funny. But I enjoyed being with him. Everytime we see each other we go back to 'shy'. But we can still talk. After that, we went to a little pub. He said, you were at the gym yesterday hey? Did you see me? I went upstairs to get an exercise ball. Where were you? Were you at the pool? ... Now I know he's also looking if I am there. I think it's great! I said, no I didn't but did you see Andrea, she was there too... 'oh ya, he said, without much interest, no I didn't'.

I told him how it was funny but a lot of people tap me on the left shoulder all the time. "I know they don't know but why THAT shoulder? Don't touch it people!" He said, 'and don't look at it! Well, that would be very hard not too look at your shoulders' woooh. compliment one ladies and germs.

Then he asked why was I ever with M. He said he couldn't figure it out. He said, it just seems like you're so out of his league...[...] Insinuated compliment number 2. It just took him a while.

We talked a lot, opened up a little more and It was a fun evening. I am glad. I think we both like each other pretty equally.

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