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so bored and lonely


tourdelove

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oh dear. Now I am on to the 'so bored and lonely' title. Yeah. that pretty much describes it. I don't know what to do with myself. It's beautiful outside but I am truly, bored. By myself. I called a friend but no answer. The idea of touching my pottery is just leaving me 'meh'. I just want to be with people or something. Slept the day away. Another bout of i don't know what.

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Meh, welcome to my world. ;-)

Nah, not always, and not when it counts ...

We're all here, you know. You don't have to be the expert all the time. Sometimes you are allowed to be the center of attention without it being narcissistic.

I didn't know you did pottery. I can only make the slumped-over kind.

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I'm Not always welcome in your world...or... the 'meh' feeling isn't? :)

Ya, pottery and can I just mention that I am [was] pretty good at it? Ah! Narcisorama... I didn't know I was an expert at... wow. Did I just win the 'Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence'? Greeeaaaat. ;)

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Please. :-P

No, I meant, in my characteristically shorthand way, that my world isn't always bored and lonely, and in fact, frequently lately, it's been exciting and ... not-lonely. And that's the secret, since there really isn't a divorce yet. Not that anything ... unseemly has happened. Just that the interest has reawakened, shall we say? ;-)

Aw, tour, everyone's good at something, and it's normal to be proud of that. You have my permission to stop beating yourself now. :-P

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Ahhhh.... the bag's out of the cat. or rather... I see, I see. Well, then, as long as it's sweet for you.

In other news... just went to the shoulder specialist lady. Six more weeks... Starting physio now... Except, more frustration with the medical system. Now, she says, she wants to get me in for an MRI. As she said, 'it seems like it hurts you when you rotate the shoulder in, so I just want to make sure you didn't tear the rotator cuff..."....Well, regardless of the broken bit, that movement as hurt from the start... From the START! Why did they not do that to start with, and get it all figure out like... a months ago!!!! Jeez louise! Frustrates me you have no idea! Hello? I need to get back to work someday! And I did ask for an MRI, as recommended by my physio and they just said 'it wasn't necessary'. Just like the x-ray wasn't necessary when I broke my shoulder? Oh dear.

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Never could trust that cat ... :-P

So far so good. Maybe a little bittersweet, but I guess that's normal.

You and 'Paula' should get together. :-) The medical establishment doesn't stand a chance.

Good luck with your shoulder, tour. I know it's frustrating to feel so helpless.

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Riiiiiighhhhht... well, so far, it seems like they are winning, sort of. Sorry for bitchin' It's just that I fear for my career in the next year... and I guess I don't trust. And I am wondering if there's something I can do or if it's just venting. We'll see. I'll talk to the physio... He might have some recommendations. He was more helpfull and insightful in his way of handling my injury than the two docs unfortunately... Anyway. I don't necessarely feel helpless. It's just difficult to make work orientated decisions right now because of the 'moving forward, oh, no, no wait, moving backwards again and...'

But you know.

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I fear

for my career

in the next year ...

You might also have a future as a poet.

Hey, complaining is a time-honored way of venting. Don't stop on my account.

Yep, I know. Feel free to scream at me whenever it's needed.

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Heh, well, sometimes a scream is just the thing ... but to each their own. You know me well enough to know that I like the smile for its healing properties, as well.

Please don't tell me it's too hot in the Frozen North. :-P

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yep! there are forest fires everywhere as well! Right in front of Y's place as well... Maybe his house will burn down so I won't have to decide anymore if I should like him or not! OMG, I can't believe I wrote this! Ah! Oh well.

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awh! thanks Hon! That does make me smile indeed! Hope the meeting goes well. I remember 'meetings'...in the 'bored' room... Ah!

In other news, my friend R just called. She wants to go to the beach with me after [her] work. I really like that she totally didn't shun me because I can't stand her boyfriend. And also my friend M-ski just wrote me a note saying that he did get my call, and he'll be calling me soon... just busy. Boy. Even if I can't see them all the time, I do have good friends. I'm so grateful for it! And for you! :)

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Just cleaned two bags of old clothing I don't wear anymore. Upwards and onwards... well two small grocery bags, but that's good for me! I need to make room in my place. So difficult for me right now to part with my old things... What if I need them again?? huh. I could pair down so much it's not even funny but I have such a hard time! but the clutter is getting to me. Although my room is much much better than when I was still with M. He didn't want to part with anything! Drove me nuts... Boxes and boxes of unused stuff. Now I guess I have to do the same thing to myself! Because I can't even see the good clothes I have right now.

My friend R is so good with keeping things neat and uncluttered. I need to ask her again what's the secret. She's told me about a million times, but I need to hear it again. I just want a clutter free space, so I can have a real bed for one...

hum, not that any of this as to do with anything. Ah!

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