Jump to content
Mental Support Community
  • entries
  • comments
  • views

What's in a name?



One of my friends here told me that she hates her real name, because it's "too common", so she wants to change it to something unique. This made me a bit sad, because I see it working the other way around.

My own name is Mark, but it's my middle name. My parents decided early on not to use my first name, Alexander, mostly because they couldn't decide what nickname to call me. I didn't say it was a good reason, ;-) but I've always been called Mark as a result. This didn't sit well with my wife, because occasionally something important would get screwed up by me using my middle name, and she would get stuck with straightening it out. Anyway, I have found that I identify pretty strongly with my name.

I have also learned the first names of several of my other friends. Perhaps they'll allow me to use them as examples of how unimportant it is to have a "common" name.

I knew a girl with the same first name as 'finding my way', when I was thirteen. She was tiny and cute and funny, and I had a crush on her, but at that age, could never have told her. Near the end of the school year, she began dating a guy, and we ended up at different schools the following year.

I knew a girl with the same first name as 'smallstar' when I was working as a clerk in a drugstore in my twenties. She was a friend; when I was spending my days cooped up in a little room carved out of the back of the warehouse to hold the store's mini-computer, she would come and talk to me on her breaks. Her husband was in the Navy, and away at sea most of the time. I think I was a safe guy she could talk to.

I've known lots of girls, a Mary, a Louise, an Amber; I've dated some whose names I don't remember, sadly. But it's not the name that made them who they were and are. It's them who made their name memorable to me, if it was.

So, to my original friend with the "common" name, I would say: It's going to be unique because it's your name. Because of what you do, who you are, who you dream to be. Not because you made up the weirdest sounding name you could.


Recommended Comments

Awww, that's soooooooo sweet Marky sparky!!!! (I used to know a dude called marky sparky)

Do you really think "S****Q**" is such a weird name...? Well, if you think that's weird, you wouldn't want to hear the rest of the name!!! S****Q** is only my first name!!!

Link to comment

Hey, Mark, I've always beleived that theirs a lot to a name . I have a Biological name, and 5 AKA names before the age of 3 yrs old. and then theirs the name I last called myself , therefore I was named by Childrens Protective Services.

35 years later, meeting my Biological father, he tells me he is the one who actually named me the name I have now. That sad truth was because back then the parents were commiting welfare fraud by claiming to have more children then they really had, I being their only daughter, became many daughters. Now I think it is a bit funny , in a very messed up way.

So what IS in A NAME?


Who am I really?


Debra Kay Pendley

Cathy J

Or those 5 other AKA ? HUmmm?

Link to comment

Sorry I haven't been on much lately, what with work getting intense. I do really want to talk with you.

For one thing, I have another name-related story: when I lived in Africa, in a French-speaking country, for two years as a kid, I had to learn French and basically couldn't use English in school at all. But I clung onto my belief that a person's name is the one thing about them you can't translate. You owe it to them to try (and it's often difficult) to say it just the way they say it, because that's their identity, and it doesn't change just because they're in a new country. So, when one teacher wrote my name as 'Marck', on a report card, no less, I was quite upset, and went back to make her change it. She had got confused between the French spelling, Marc, and the English one.

So I'm going to ask you to ask yourself and tell me:

What's your name?

And I'll use that from now on.

Because no matter how messed up all of them were, you get to make an adult decision, now, how you want to be known.

Link to comment

Thank you , Mark. My name is Cathy. It has stuck for years . They only time it changed was to Mscat, from my preschool teaching Years. over 20 years of that, and the little ones always called me mscat. Those teaching years are my fondest memories and I was very very good at working with very young children , and special mainstreaming special needs children into my program. I have a degree in ECE & take pride in working all those years with all ages of little children. once directing a infant toddler program, to working with school age kids, however the preschoolers were always my true joy of teaching.

mscat is what I use as my screennames because it is positive to me, and a short name. Brings back the good times, and memories I have as teaching precious little ones .

Cathy, is my adult name , nearly over 40 now, I am known to the rest of the real world as this :D

Link to comment

Hi Cathy.

That's the name I use most of the time for you.

But my point was to find the name you think of yourself as; I don't much care what the real world calls you. Obviously, those are often the same, but not always.

Link to comment

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...