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Anniversary


malign

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This post is sort of out of the sequence of my other recent ones, but I felt it necessary to mark the day, as it might help explain some of my irritability and confusion recently.

Yesterday, the 13th, was my seventh wedding anniversary. Yes, we got married on the 13th; how's that for tempting fate?

(Those who don't know: we've been happily separated for almost eight months now.)

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trying to forget those things personally,

But yes you are going to have a wonderful christmas or thanks giving (whats that ?) spent with people around you that love you. of that i am certain. and i hope that you have a lovely time with your friends.

it will be possibly the first xmas in years that you will actually fully enjoy. diffenatley something worth celebrating

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Oh yeah, willy, I'm really celebrating.

The marriage was long (that's how it felt), and difficult.

This is not a case of two people who love each other who've drifted apart. I'm well past the finger-pointing stage, but not being married any more will definitely be the best thing that's ever happened to me.

As for Thanksgiving, Sue, it's a little holiday we Colonists (I laughed when one of my English aunts first called us that) celebrate near the end of November. It commemorates their first harvest in the New World, and their thanks that they might survive.

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That's good to hear. Some relationships are not healthy. Lyn and also changed our anniversary date, to the date I got my head straight.

Well, yesterday was the 2 week ann. of Lyn dying. I celebrate her life everyday. I am hoping I can do more than survive this life changing moment and one day thrive, again. Do you feel you will thrive?

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I do, actually (well, sometimes it takes an effort to believe.)

I smiled at you changing your anniversary. That makes a certain amount of sense. :-)

I didn't have the strength to say directly at the time, but despite being with us such a short time, Lyn touched many of us in ways that we will keep with us for life. That's not something that needs an anniversary to remember.

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Thanks for feeling she touched you. I find it odd because no one on a forum gets to see the entire person, but I felt she was my sun, my moon and my star. As sappy as that sounds.

You're happy your marriage ended, but you are struggling. Is this part of the healing process and your way of coping/adjusting?

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Well, there are practical, financial entanglements.

There is the feeling that some flaw in me got me into this problem in the first place, so that I have that to fix before venturing into another relationship.

And I guess there are some changed identity issues to face: I think a big part of marrying, for me, was to obtain those coveted titles, 'Husband' and 'Father'.

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hi willy,

good to hear from you, i hope that the pain heals a little soon. a lot of people miss lyn.

mark,

the thanks giving thingy, is it like a big thing ?

also

is it similar to out harvest festival, that only lasts a day, kids and adults just go to church and do a service then donate food to various charities. from what i understand of it anyway.

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Thanksgiving, in the States, is usually a four-day weekend celebration. It's part harvest festival, part commemoration of those original colonists, many of whom died, as well as a time to be thankful with family. And, of course, it's a huge commercial opportunity before Christmas. You can't deny the power of money.

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I totally get the financial and title issues. After those are in order, do you want another relationship? Our marriage would not have lasted 33yrs unless I figured out my flaws. That was helpful in every area of my life-- I felt I was confident in who I was, actually felt good about myself-- an inner peace. oooooommmm---challenging karuna now ;-)

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Yes, there is also considerable eating involved. But you might have to explain that that's American Football, for those who think football is soccer. ;-)

And yes, willy, I'm definitely interested in another relationship, particularly because of how sterile the last one was. It was almost more of a "living arrangement", except for the self-abusive aspects of me staying long after there were any rewards.

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Football, soccer same noise. JJ, you're welcome anytime. malign, I'd like to tell you a loving relationship is over rated, but, when it's good it's very, very good. I do feel guilty being here because I've had quite a wonderful life and a loving marriage. Too bad, I enjoy all of you. Thanks for making me laugh and think about your sorry lives instead of my own :-) (shh, Lyn would give me "the look" for saying that) ;-)

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And you'd deserve every bit of it. :-P

We enjoy you and Lyn, too, so it's all good. Guilt is overrated as an experience, I think. It sounds to me as if you worked for what you got. In fact, I do believe you'd have quite a bit to share with our members, too, if you ever felt the urge.

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willy thats all cool, if we cant laugh at ourselfs them who can we laugh at.

im sure Lyn would of understood, ok probably after "the look" had been give. (its a girl thing)

we dont actually call football soccer anymore, its just football.

oh mark, im sure you will find what you are searching for, and that you will be immensly happy, i hope we all find what we are looking for one day

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