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a bit higher



im not feeling as low atm and havnt s/harmed for a few days which is a good thing but it is also a bad thing, im on day 5 of my fast which always makes me feel much better even gives me a bit of a high. but i know it wont last forever im only going to do a week

it will come crashing back down which i am not looking forward to.

it's a bit of a vicious circle really, up one minute down the next but it's got to be better than down one minute and ever downer the next i guess :confused: i did kind of promise myself no more fasting and that lasted quite a while but i hate the consequences ie: weight gain! and more self-hatred which doesnt exactly go well with depression.

im not that stupid (tho many would disagree lol) i know it's not ideal..but having a few good days is better than none, my healths ok and im not exactly skinny :D so i know i'll be fine medically.

i tried to get help from the so called proffesionals and they did nothing so for now im dealing with things my way! it's time i took control of myself again my way and so far it's working, it's nice not to be writing something all doom and gloom for a change :)

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