I cant get that fat comment out of my head, im not as angry as i was but i still dont understand why .

i guess he took a dislike to me but i didnt do anything wrong im sure i didnt.

and im sure they're supposed to use words like overweight not fat.

im being pathetic and whingy but its really got to me, truth hurts and all that i suppose.

i have an appt at the Drs tomorrow so im gong to bring it up which will be extremely embarrasing and he is not going to weigh me im not playing there stupid games anymore they just take the piss.They all stand up for each other anyway.

im sick of not being able to sleep ive tried everything but it's getting worse. i know the Drs wont give me something to help im still considered a high risk ..most they ever gave me was 2 weeks worth and the doses were way too low. i even have to get my regular meds weekly and not monthly which is ridiculous im 39 ffs and havnt been actively suicidal for ages and they accept that im not going to attempt it..stupid idiots dont seem to realise i could buy a shedful of pills and do it anyway lol.

ive been pretty sedentary (sounds better than lazy) which doesnt help, i really feel like going for a run but its late..i hate the dark and night times, too dangerous...and i havnt done it outdoors for sometime now, anyway im too tired even if i cant bloody sleep and getting the dizzys again! and i cant even be bothered with the wii..wheres my motivation gone :confused:

maybe i can convince the dr this time to prescribe something..i really need some sleep, its getting me down and sending me loopy!

dont know why i keep waffling in here,bit stupid really, safer than writing it down or putting it somewhere it could be found i suppose..god knows..think im losing my mind, i can feel myself going 'funny' again :eek: