Well, it's been a while ...
I was feeling pretty low last week. Very behind at work, with several other things hanging over my head, and no viable therapy option. The year anniversary of my separation is this week, and the wife was offering to meet yet again on the financial issues. I have to decide how to file for divorce soon. By the middle of the week, I was losing sleep and just generally not functioning well.
Well, that couldn't last. I worked enough to catch up. I spent 9 1/2 hours on Saturday talking to the wife, only to confirm what I already knew ... But I also took a little time on Sunday to take a walk, and to re-commit myself to caring for myself a bit better, to get up earlier and give myself time to meditate and maybe even exercise in the morning.
So far, so good. I still have stuff to take care of that I haven't; I'm not out of the woods yet. But I am trying.
Sometimes, I hesitate to share my own troubles here. I've fairly often had people assume, as soon as I told them my troubles, that they were imposing on me too much and try to disappear. That's the last thing I want ... and well, the next thing I don't want is people just saying that I'm a nice guy and it's too bad that I have troubles. I mean, I agree and all, but I'm mostly just venting, and sharing. I'm not expecting solutions.
Yet, I guess, if I'm not expecting solutions and don't want supporting words, what else is there for people to give me, except maybe verbal abuse? I don't know; maybe I'm just not very good at accepting support from other people. I am glad that I have friends. Maybe I'll just have to lighten up and accept that people care about me.