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Up Date


Well, it's been a while ...

I was feeling pretty low last week. Very behind at work, with several other things hanging over my head, and no viable therapy option. The year anniversary of my separation is this week, and the wife was offering to meet yet again on the financial issues. I have to decide how to file for divorce soon. By the middle of the week, I was losing sleep and just generally not functioning well.

Well, that couldn't last. I worked enough to catch up. I spent 9 1/2 hours on Saturday talking to the wife, only to confirm what I already knew ... But I also took a little time on Sunday to take a walk, and to re-commit myself to caring for myself a bit better, to get up earlier and give myself time to meditate and maybe even exercise in the morning.

So far, so good. I still have stuff to take care of that I haven't; I'm not out of the woods yet. But I am trying.

Sometimes, I hesitate to share my own troubles here. I've fairly often had people assume, as soon as I told them my troubles, that they were imposing on me too much and try to disappear. That's the last thing I want ... and well, the next thing I don't want is people just saying that I'm a nice guy and it's too bad that I have troubles. I mean, I agree and all, but I'm mostly just venting, and sharing. I'm not expecting solutions.

Yet, I guess, if I'm not expecting solutions and don't want supporting words, what else is there for people to give me, except maybe verbal abuse? I don't know; maybe I'm just not very good at accepting support from other people. I am glad that I have friends. Maybe I'll just have to lighten up and accept that people care about me.

12 Comments


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SweetSue

Posted

This is all I have to offer

hugs76.gif

a hug through cyberspace. its up to you if you want to accept it or not. you know I care. But I have no words.

malign

Posted

Aw.

I guess I was trying to say that I realized that the problem isn't that people would want to support me. It's that I tend to be uncomfortable with that, and I shouldn't be.

SweetSue

Posted

im sorry

You know I find it difficult to find the words, coz I truely want to try help you bro, but you know that I cant. I know that I cant. Coz when I try, you pull away. probably coz I screw up and get my wording all wrong.

But know that well I think about helping, and want to help, but then think better of it, and well its the thought that counts :(

malign

Posted

It's not your words, Sue. I think I just have a hard time being comforted.

SweetSue

Posted

Hmmm, maybe.

but it doesnt show, (honest :() :D

Im sorry you have a hard time accepting comforting words from others, but I do hope in time that will change. :o

Love you Bro

malign

Posted

I love you too, Sue.

Be safe, tonight, okay? If it gets out of hand, call someone, please.

SweetSue

Posted

Its kinda already gotten out of hand, im waiting for the p/doc to come get me now :(

shit happens though right, and I can get through this, cant I ?

malign

Posted

You will be okay, Sue, just as long as you take steps like that to keep yourself safe.

I love you for taking such good care of yourself.

SweetSue

Posted

hu hu, thats a joke :(

well it would be really funny if it was one :D

hey so, have you had any luck on getting another appointment to see a therapist yet ?

Autognosy

Posted

Oh, so now I know my todays mistake. Once in this forum, have made a compliment (which I believe in) and that was today to you :D It's ok, I now know you can't accept it.

Another thought is that... I believe your answers to the posts are offering solutions, even if you don't see so. See it that way...every thought of us can be a step towards the solution. Maybe that's why I feel your posts are so wise...they offer solutions that I'd never think of (I also like solutions-that's the practicall aspect of thinking). Like another perspective to the problem discussed.

Feel free not to answer back. It's just my thoughs :)

Amanda

Posted

I just stopped in because of the open invitation to verbally abuse you;). If only I had a really thick dictionary that would be some serious verbal abuse:). OK so I'm a smartass but you already suspected that huh?

malign

Posted

Auto, I do try to help. I can even believe I succeed sometimes, and I don't mind being told when I do succeed. I think I find it harder when I'm struggling, to accept support the same way that I give it. It's firmly my problem, though.

And Mandy, it's specifically because you're a smartass that I like you so much. You could always sic a thesaurus on me. Or make it attack or command it to eat me or just generally point it in my direction with intent to do bodily harm ...

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