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malign

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Well, it's been a while ...

I was feeling pretty low last week. Very behind at work, with several other things hanging over my head, and no viable therapy option. The year anniversary of my separation is this week, and the wife was offering to meet yet again on the financial issues. I have to decide how to file for divorce soon. By the middle of the week, I was losing sleep and just generally not functioning well.

Well, that couldn't last. I worked enough to catch up. I spent 9 1/2 hours on Saturday talking to the wife, only to confirm what I already knew ... But I also took a little time on Sunday to take a walk, and to re-commit myself to caring for myself a bit better, to get up earlier and give myself time to meditate and maybe even exercise in the morning.

So far, so good. I still have stuff to take care of that I haven't; I'm not out of the woods yet. But I am trying.

Sometimes, I hesitate to share my own troubles here. I've fairly often had people assume, as soon as I told them my troubles, that they were imposing on me too much and try to disappear. That's the last thing I want ... and well, the next thing I don't want is people just saying that I'm a nice guy and it's too bad that I have troubles. I mean, I agree and all, but I'm mostly just venting, and sharing. I'm not expecting solutions.

Yet, I guess, if I'm not expecting solutions and don't want supporting words, what else is there for people to give me, except maybe verbal abuse? I don't know; maybe I'm just not very good at accepting support from other people. I am glad that I have friends. Maybe I'll just have to lighten up and accept that people care about me.

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im sorry

You know I find it difficult to find the words, coz I truely want to try help you bro, but you know that I cant. I know that I cant. Coz when I try, you pull away. probably coz I screw up and get my wording all wrong.

But know that well I think about helping, and want to help, but then think better of it, and well its the thought that counts :(

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Oh, so now I know my todays mistake. Once in this forum, have made a compliment (which I believe in) and that was today to you :D It's ok, I now know you can't accept it.

Another thought is that... I believe your answers to the posts are offering solutions, even if you don't see so. See it that way...every thought of us can be a step towards the solution. Maybe that's why I feel your posts are so wise...they offer solutions that I'd never think of (I also like solutions-that's the practicall aspect of thinking). Like another perspective to the problem discussed.

Feel free not to answer back. It's just my thoughs :)

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I just stopped in because of the open invitation to verbally abuse you;). If only I had a really thick dictionary that would be some serious verbal abuse:). OK so I'm a smartass but you already suspected that huh?

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Auto, I do try to help. I can even believe I succeed sometimes, and I don't mind being told when I do succeed. I think I find it harder when I'm struggling, to accept support the same way that I give it. It's firmly my problem, though.

And Mandy, it's specifically because you're a smartass that I like you so much. You could always sic a thesaurus on me. Or make it attack or command it to eat me or just generally point it in my direction with intent to do bodily harm ...

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