Well, I worned you! But since you entered, be my guest
I just wanted to think loudly, by typing that's all...
Today was a lost day... not just lost, I went back instead of staying stuck. I mean, I woke up soooo late and if it wasn't for my friend's phonecall, I'd probably be sleeping a lot more. Then, I was sleepy all day.
So I woke up in noon and was starving, but my choises for food was the worst I could possible do. I went to the market willing to buy a yogurt for my rice. Apart from it I got chips and chocolates...2-3 of each and guess! I didn't eat rice and yogurt for noon! That's right.
But I ate rice and yogurt for dinner at.....12 o'clock :eek: And the worst? My stomach was full of food and I knew it.
I don't know why I am doing this. Tomorrow I am going to see my dietician, who expects me to have lost at least 2 kilos in this month, but I surely haven't. I haven't even looked to see, but if we are optimistic (concidering my perfect metabolism) I am stable.
Why, just why am I doing this? Ok, let's say all month through (and the previous one) I got fed up with it. I am not a strong character to keep up on a plan. But today, why was I acting like I am starving to death??
I trie to make logic work, I thought that my metabolism is perfect so in 2 months I can lose 5 kilos and then tell her I am ok and stable it and tell her goodbye forever.
I thought that I am giving way too much money for my financial to postpone the diet.
I thought that summer is on the way and I surely want to become a number small and get rid of number medium.
I thought that I am the one who wanted to get rid of the kilos in a first place.
I thought that my bro is getting married in a few months and I can't afford to leave the diet to the last minute.
I even looked past photos and saw myself 4 kilos heavier and thought "wow, that was awful but 4 kilos lighter I am another person. If I lose 5 more, I'll rock!"
But none of them seemed strong enough to motivate me....instead, all month through I didin't follow the diet and today, one day before going to the doc, I ate like an animal!!!!
Just waiting to feel bad tomorrow. What am I going to say to her? She is polite, but...I don't feel right.
Ok, to make things worse, let's see what my positive thought of Monday says...
I love the feel of energy that excersize gives me
Haha, that's funny....maybe by excersize I meant "chewing"!