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Nothing importand, really


Autognosy

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Well, I worned you! But since you entered, be my guest :o

I just wanted to think loudly, by typing that's all...

Today was a lost day... not just lost, I went back instead of staying stuck. I mean, I woke up soooo late and if it wasn't for my friend's phonecall, I'd probably be sleeping a lot more. Then, I was sleepy all day.

So I woke up in noon and was starving, but my choises for food was the worst I could possible do. I went to the market willing to buy a yogurt for my rice. Apart from it I got chips and chocolates...2-3 of each and guess! I didn't eat rice and yogurt for noon! That's right.

But I ate rice and yogurt for dinner at.....12 o'clock :eek: And the worst? My stomach was full of food and I knew it.

I don't know why I am doing this. Tomorrow I am going to see my dietician, who expects me to have lost at least 2 kilos in this month, but I surely haven't. I haven't even looked to see, but if we are optimistic (concidering my perfect metabolism) I am stable.

Why, just why am I doing this? Ok, let's say all month through (and the previous one) I got fed up with it. I am not a strong character to keep up on a plan. But today, why was I acting like I am starving to death??

I trie to make logic work, I thought that my metabolism is perfect so in 2 months I can lose 5 kilos and then tell her I am ok and stable it and tell her goodbye forever.

I thought that I am giving way too much money for my financial to postpone the diet.

I thought that summer is on the way and I surely want to become a number small and get rid of number medium.

I thought that I am the one who wanted to get rid of the kilos in a first place.

I thought that my bro is getting married in a few months and I can't afford to leave the diet to the last minute.

I even looked past photos and saw myself 4 kilos heavier and thought "wow, that was awful but 4 kilos lighter I am another person. If I lose 5 more, I'll rock!"

But none of them seemed strong enough to motivate me....instead, all month through I didin't follow the diet and today, one day before going to the doc, I ate like an animal!!!!

Just waiting to feel bad tomorrow. What am I going to say to her? She is polite, but...I don't feel right.

Ok, to make things worse, let's see what my positive thought of Monday says...

I love the feel of energy that excersize gives me

Haha, that's funny....maybe by excersize I meant "chewing"!

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Oh come on... My problem in this forum is that

1) I sometimes feel like most people don't know where I came from, maybe remember me from somewhere (as I am new) and don't really need my opinion

2) I overanalyzing things

3) I always try to find solutions, but I am not sure if they want a solution or just somebody to say "I understand". Meaning, I never really know if I say the right thing

4) Since I am not a doc or answer from the position of somebody who has "been there", I am not really sure if I my answers are too light and maybe childish.

I mean, if I make sense of what you say, it's up to you (or whoever I answer to) to decide.

Other than that....I think that what you say makes sence. Don't say not to take notice of your blog, it's not good for your self esteem!! Yourself is listening to negative thoughts!

(Oh time for teasing!) If you think you can ignore my warnings and sneak in my blog just like that, then I can as well sneak in your blog and take notices -hohoho :D

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hey auto, sorry you had a lost day :D

I hope things go well at the drs.

Hey, I think you should post wherever you like, people are looking for input, that's why they write here.

I, for one, always appreciate your words, and take the time to think about what you say to me.

Anyway, hope tomorrow is a better day for you!

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Hey auto

just want to say this in reply to yours

1. Please dont feel this way. we all come here because we need oppinions from others, there help, guidance. support, and a friendly hello, or even just someone to say they are listeniing and that someone cares. Your oppinions are valued and truely matter.

2. Something we are all guilty of, from time to time. There is nothing wrong in over anaylising, atleast you recognise it, we are all only human. And its a positive thing, not a negative. You anayalise coz you care. Yep cant spell that word- sorry)

3. None of us are ever sure we say the right thing. But we try , and trying is way better than doing nothing :)

4. hey there are very few Docs on this forum, most of us can only give replies from someone that has actually been there, it does not make our replies any less useful than that from the pros. Your answers are fine, they come from the heart, where better a place is there for answers to come from than that ? :)

Yep thats cool we can both ignore each others warnings, and sneak into each others blogs, what better example of friendship is there than that. :D

[oops sorry for the long reply]

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No sorry's for long replies! Maybe you have got used so much of my replies now, that you are starting overanalyzing too, and that's totally fine :D

Insecurity strikes me now and then, so... thank you for the warm reply! :) :) :)

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