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on the other hand



today just came out of a 3.5h meeting at work. sometimes I wonder if I did the right choice. I feel like I want to cry now.

Before the meeting ended, I felt like having a smoke!!!! Just feel like I am not appreciated again. that my position could easily be replaced. why do I always feel like that?

and I sort of feel resentful towards R. She annoys me now. Her success, even though she doesn't work very hard. The fact that she seems to use me: she wants to ;hang out' but only if it's on her own terms. and when it's my terms, she leaves and go hangs with the drunk/drug addicts. the fact that she always break up and come back with her stupid bf at least once a week. tired of listening to her sagas, to how beautiful guys thinks she is , how skinny she thinks she is. Part of this is jealousy. Meaning, I accept to be treated badly because I don't have that many friends.

Now I need to go for my r/walk dont feel like it, but I will cus it will be good for me. I just feel like crying


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hey tour,

just wanted to say hi. I'm sorry it's so hard right now :D

but yes, go for your run/walk , even if you don't feel like it, it will probably make you feel better afterwards.

Just sorry you are hurting :)

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So, maybe feeling bad about work will turn out to be one of your triggers. After all, feeling triggered, as long as you observe it and not give in, is just another way of learning.

Is it time to add to your friend pool? Maybe you need people who won't make you feel like you're "settling".

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yeap, so far so good about work.. well in regards to being smoke free.

but for R. You know it's difficult cus I guess no one is all bad or all good [i know I suck half the time, cus of my moods]. But I have been restraining from seing her because of all the unhealthy people she hangs around with.

It may not affect her, but it certainly affects me, and I feel like it's a waiste of time unfortunately hanging out with them. I feel like I'm talking to a bowl of jello half the time.

Not where I want to meet my future healthy friends anyway, so your right, ya.

Hope you're well mark

and you as well starry

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