Where do I go for help?

[HSmith]

I just registered so I can post here. I am a 28 y/o male and I've been battling who-knows-what for too long now.

I really need to find someone that can help me. I lost my job last september, and consequently walked away from my house and gave away most of my stuff. I also became drug-free at that same time (pot daily and coke on weekends). I then moved out to california and lived with my married best friend for a couple months, and it ended on bad terms.

Out of money and resources, I came back to texas and moved in with my mom. Things are not going well, I am drinking a lot more than I ever have. All I want to do is drink because it's the only thing that puts me in a better mood and it gives me the energy to do things.

Without the alcohol, I don't want to do anything except lay on the couch and watch tv. I don't even want to talk to anyone and I avoid people. I have no ambition to find another job and I don't care about anything anymore.

I had it all, the big house, new truck, great job, friends, and a decent relationship. Now I have nothing and all I think about is how great I had it and how I just ruined everything.

This is my cry for help. I am becoming or already am an alcoholic and thoughts of suicide are becoming more frequent. It's the worst when I'm sober. Drinking is the only thing that makes me feel normal and happy. Since I have given up drugs my life has really headed south, isn't it supposed to be the other way around? I didn't even drink that much before I quit drugs. Now I drink at least a 12pk a day. I am still drug-free, but that wouldn't be if I had the money or knew where to find some. I feel like trying to change my life was a mistake.

I have no money and no health insurance. I don't know what to do, where to go. For some reason I think there must be some medication out there or something that will help me get back on track.

I cannot afford a doctor and have little patience for stacks of paperwork to get second-rate help from the state.

Someone please let me know what I need to do, you can email me at Kawz1980@hotmail.com

Thanks

[finding my way]

Have you opened your mind to AA HSmith? You really need a support community, and Alcoholics Anonymous excels at that. What if you just gave it a try?

I'm so sorry things are so bad for you. Don't give up on reaching out. There are a lot of resources on this site if you look around. And keep posting!

[HSmith]

I would never go to an AA group.

1- I am a man of science and very anti-religeous. People have the right to believe whatever they want, fine, but leave me out of it. AA is well-known for it's christian-based "you need to find jesus and get saved" rhetoric.

2- My new drinking habit is obviously the result of being unhappy and depressed/sick. Those are life problems that led to drinking in the first place and need to get resolved otherwise quitting drinking will be impossible for me.

3- AA is for people who REALLY need it. People that have been drinking for years. I don't think I have a physical dependancy yet, just phsycological dependancy. I'm just trying desperately to help myself feel better.

Thanks for the reply, I need advice. I need to find a doctor who is willing to see me to just let me know how bad this really is and why I don't give a sh*t about anything anymore.

[malign]

H,

It sounds to me like you're listing things you _can't_ do for help, and daring someone to disagree. Once you've ruled out doctors (can't afford them), state services (too much paperwork), and most charities (many are in some way religious), what's left?

As a man of science myself, there's still something to be learned from religious people. No one says you have to buy everything they say, after all. But if someone says you have to love yourself, who cares if they say, "because Jesus did". It still makes sense.

My two cents: no doctor out there can tell you much more than you've already said: you're "unhappy and depressed", and there's no miracle drug, although there's stuff that will help. There's still work for you to do, that's why they call it life.

[mscat]

The first thing to ask yourself is if you really want to get better or not? If you want to then it is time to reach out to others and start taking care of yourself.

Their are low cost health insurance through your state that you can get, then seek out a counselor , someone to talk to, and then a doctor to perscribe meds to help with the depression.

A lot of people with a drinking probelm think their ok, and they are not. My brother drinks way too much, because it helps him forget about all his problems at least for a little while.

I am just not sure if your ready to take the step for yourself and get the help that you need, only you can decide when your ready.

[finding my way]

Well AA may not be for you, but I suggested it because you sounded desperate and out of resources. I once attended Al-Anon for a year and drinking wasn't the issue, mental health was the issue. They saved me from the brink when I had no one else to turn to. And to be factual, it is much more inclusive than you state. Christians, pagans, and agnostics sit side by side.

As malign says, there's no miracle drug (and darn it, alcohol will just lead to addiction) and as mscat says, reach out to others and start taking care of yourself.... I know, not easy! There's a section called Psychology Self-Tools somewhere here that has tons to look through. Maybe something there will get you started on what you can do. Keep writing.

[valarie]

my son is in the same boat as you. look online or in your phone book. there should be somewhere local that might help you. we tried but they couldn't help him. maybe you will have more luck. he is looking for a job that is all he wants it has been over a year now. in these times it is so hard so very hard to find anything. good luck