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Lying about (or hiding) your size


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I think one of the most toxic things, for me, about SPS, is feeling like I have to hide the fact that I'm small, and even lie about it. This was more of an issue when I was younger and size was more of a topic in social circles. But it still comes up, and I still act as if I'm not one of the poor unfortunates everyone seems to enjoy laughing at. It's just a matter of course at this point. You don't offer any info, and you lie if asked directly.

I guess I don't have anything particularly constructive to say. But part of me wishes it was socially acceptable to admit to being small. There would be more ability for us to deal with the issues we have around it, and be seen as human beings and not jokes.

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One of the FM radio stations here has these 2 jackasses clown morning zoo Howard Stern wanna bees in the morning and I heard a promo for their show, a snippet from a previous show and sure as fuck - small penis joke.  Mind you now, this is what the station's marketing department put out there to bring in listeners.  Tells you all you need to know.  

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1 hour ago, Victimorthecrime said:

One of the FM radio stations here has these 2 jackasses clown morning zoo Howard Stern wanna bees in the morning and I heard a promo for their show, a snippet from a previous show and sure as fuck - small penis joke.  Mind you now, this is what the station's marketing department put out there to bring in listeners.  Tells you all you need to know.  

Wel those morning shows are the dumbest of the dumb, of course, but yeah. Small penis shaming is so mainstream, it's not even recognized as abusive. Crude and in poor taste, but not abusive. 

I did feel comfortable talking about my size with my ex, and even poking fun at myself about it, which was really liberating at times. The fact that she acknowledged my size and my issues around it, and accepted me, was very healing and nurturing. Most women, including my wife, have seemed to be in denial about my size and avoided the topic at all costs. Minimizing it ("you're not that small", "i've seen smaller") to outright lying ("i think you're average", "size isn't important", "you're the perfect size for me"), to the most annoying thing ever, changing the topic to try to soothe me ("but you're so cute and sweet and smart, you've got so much more going for you than just having a big dick.") Maybe when i was in my teens, that stuff made me feel a little better, but i'm grown and i know what's what, and i want people to be real with me, and be able to be real with other people. Not just about dick size. But if i can't find the courage to be open with the world about my size, i wish i could at least have an open compassionate partner to be vulnerable and honest with.

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Yeh it sucks, it's one of those things women can't speak out about as they don't fully understand how damaging it can be, and men won't speak out because anyone who says 'this isn't right' automatically gets labelled as having a small penis themselves, and people with average-big dicks would be looked down upon by smaller dicked men for 'not understanding their struggles or something'

The only people that can speak out about it are too scared and damaged to, so it continues

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I've noticed that my anxiety is almost non existent since I've quit my job. I love being a stay at home dad. I don't interact with anyone outside of my family, so I don't worry or obsess. It's a sad state of affairs, but I prefer it over being forced into situations that make me neurotic and anxious. 

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It's more when a small penis reference gets made at work, I worked in healthcare with mostly women. Now it didn't happen very often but when it does you just have to brush it off even though your dying a little inside. I'm not a negative person at all but if someone does say something bad or laugh, I'll mention something at a later date, not to that person but a subtle joke within that persons earshot but not directly to them, which picks apart their biggest insecurity. I do it with a completely innocent look on my face, revenge best served cold lol.

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For most of my sexually active life, I lied to myself about my size, thinking I was about 6" because I had always heard that was normal.  I never measured because I was worried I was smaller than average and worried by ego couldn't take it.  Of course, I didn't think about it that clearly.  I hung my hat on grower, not shower.

When I finally measured in my 50s I had a very hard time admitting where I stood.  I might never have been sexually active if I knew I was only 4.5" when I was 20.

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