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Why would my girlfriend stay with me?


GoldenBoyX
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First let me state that I don't have low self-esteem. I know plenty of people who have no confidence whatsoever and I am not one of those people. In some ways part of my struggle is that I feel my abilities are actually really impressive that it's depressing that I'm not achieving as much as I want to, like that I'm destined for more like I'm special, and then also if that's true that it doesn't make sense to me feeling like uniquely gifted on the one hand and on the other the feeling of having gotten royally fucked over with a penis that's embarrassingly inadequate. Like imagine being a uniquely gifted king who secretly has a small dick. Then imagine being the guy who deserves to be king but got fucked over by some incompetent douche who just happens to have a way bigger and more satisfying penis despite way less ability and potential.

Anyway, I'm way off track. Somehow despite my total incompetence and inexperience with girls due to my constant feelings of intimidation around them I somehow managed to start dating this girl who seems really cool. I'm probably a slight notch or two above her just general looks-wise but she's cute and fun and lean and sexy. And best of all she seems pretty into me and has even adopted a lot of my interests. Which is cool because I'm not the easiest guy for everyone to be friends with but she puts up with my anxiety and energy and stuff. Best thing about me probably for a girl is that I'm smart. But anyway I can't stop thinking about how disappointed she must be with the sex aspects. Like why would a girl who wants a big strong guy to depend on and brag to her friends about stay with me? Early on before we started having sex she would joke with me about her one ex who had a micropenis (she calls him "tiny dick guy"). She has pretty much stopped that since we started having sex. It embarrasses me how disappointed she must have been the first time she pulled out my dick. Drunkenly I asked her once what her first reaction was and she joked and said "I was glad because I knew at least I wouldn't hurt my jaw on it". And I also got her to drunkenly admit her most recent ex was bigger than me, which makes me so mad when I fuck her cuz I know there are spots inside of her that I can't claim that he could. I always see it in her eyes when I go as deep as I can how much more pleasurable for her that is and yet I know it's nowhere near as deep as most guys could go. Every time I fuck her I slip out a ton and it feels like I don't fill her up at all and barely can get any reaction from her. I've never come close to giving her an orgasm and she told me flat out again drunkenly that I cum by far the fastest of any of the 4 guys she has been with. I mean I know I don't give her pleasure during sex but almost even beyond that is just the visual. Like, how can she be impressed when she pulls down my pants? It's not like she doesn't know cuz we have talked about it and she even asks me questions about it. I just feel so inadequate in the equipment department and I know it's not enough to satisfy her and every time I leave her wanting more. But like even sitting in the grass in the park she knows that my equipment isn't enough and I just feel her eyes searing through my jeans. I won't even let her see my flaccid dick but she knows it's small. She's so supportive but I know behind my back she has told her friends I have a small dick. I'm torn between being amazed she stays with me and also terrified my dick isn't enough to hold her down. I wish I was that dependable perfect rock of a guy I know she tries to see in me but my dick is like this fatal inadequacy. We've even talked kids and every time I look at my semen I just see millions of little me's running around, all of whom are going to inherit my inadequate dick and themselves get teased over it. It amazes me every day that she still wants to take my sperm and lets me pound away using her body when I know she doesn't feel it. 

 

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2 hours ago, GoldenBoyX said:

First let me state that I don't have low self-esteem. I know plenty of people who have no confidence whatsoever and I am not one of those people. In some ways part of my struggle is that I feel my abilities are actually really impressive that it's depressing that I'm not achieving as much as I want to, like that I'm destined for more like I'm special, and then also if that's true that it doesn't make sense to me feeling like uniquely gifted on the one hand and on the other the feeling of having gotten royally fucked over with a penis that's embarrassingly inadequate. Like imagine being a uniquely gifted king who secretly has a small dick. Then imagine being the guy who deserves to be king but got fucked over by some incompetent douche who just happens to have a way bigger and more satisfying penis despite way less ability and potential.

Anyway, I'm way off track. Somehow despite my total incompetence and inexperience with girls due to my constant feelings of intimidation around them I somehow managed to start dating this girl who seems really cool. I'm probably a slight notch or two above her just general looks-wise but she's cute and fun and lean and sexy. And best of all she seems pretty into me and has even adopted a lot of my interests. Which is cool because I'm not the easiest guy for everyone to be friends with but she puts up with my anxiety and energy and stuff. Best thing about me probably for a girl is that I'm smart. But anyway I can't stop thinking about how disappointed she must be with the sex aspects. Like why would a girl who wants a big strong guy to depend on and brag to her friends about stay with me? Early on before we started having sex she would joke with me about her one ex who had a micropenis (she calls him "tiny dick guy"). She has pretty much stopped that since we started having sex. It embarrasses me how disappointed she must have been the first time she pulled out my dick. Drunkenly I asked her once what her first reaction was and she joked and said "I was glad because I knew at least I wouldn't hurt my jaw on it". And I also got her to drunkenly admit her most recent ex was bigger than me, which makes me so mad when I fuck her cuz I know there are spots inside of her that I can't claim that he could. I always see it in her eyes when I go as deep as I can how much more pleasurable for her that is and yet I know it's nowhere near as deep as most guys could go. Every time I fuck her I slip out a ton and it feels like I don't fill her up at all and barely can get any reaction from her. I've never come close to giving her an orgasm and she told me flat out again drunkenly that I cum by far the fastest of any of the 4 guys she has been with. I mean I know I don't give her pleasure during sex but almost even beyond that is just the visual. Like, how can she be impressed when she pulls down my pants? It's not like she doesn't know cuz we have talked about it and she even asks me questions about it. I just feel so inadequate in the equipment department and I know it's not enough to satisfy her and every time I leave her wanting more. But like even sitting in the grass in the park she knows that my equipment isn't enough and I just feel her eyes searing through my jeans. I won't even let her see my flaccid dick but she knows it's small. She's so supportive but I know behind my back she has told her friends I have a small dick. I'm torn between being amazed she stays with me and also terrified my dick isn't enough to hold her down. I wish I was that dependable perfect rock of a guy I know she tries to see in me but my dick is like this fatal inadequacy. We've even talked kids and every time I look at my semen I just see millions of little me's running around, all of whom are going to inherit my inadequate dick and themselves get teased over it. It amazes me every day that she still wants to take my sperm and lets me pound away using her body when I know she doesn't feel it. 

 

 

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I would say because she loves you that is way she stays with you.  On the sex side even big penises slip out when making love take your time in given her pleasure to make her orgasm spend more time with foreplay oral sex will make her orgasm. She must see you as good partner and that is why she is at your side and size is does not make a man it how you show her love and keep her happy thats what counts and if she is talking about kids she is in it for the long haul. Hope this helps.

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I know this can sounds condescending. I am also small and have worried about my sex life would effect a true relationship. Even know i cant help it slipping in my mind even though ive been with my wife for years. I know there are aspects of sex that are just different for us. We are limited in positions by my size for example or needing to stay deep so i dont fall out. With a bit more work we have been able to find new and better ways to please her. It was anxiety and stress producing, but we got there by me being honest about it and just talking about it and telling her not spare my feelings because this is causing me a huge amount of worry and stress. It hasent fixed things but has made them so much better. What came of this talk that was we love each other and it would take way more then this to push us apart. I wish i could reassure you that there was some way to get over the fear she is talking about you but I still suffer from that worry. I know the feeling of knowing you dont messure up to the past and having her think its funny to be small but finding new satasfaction in sex for both of us has helped so much in lessening that fear. We are all here because of the fear, depression and anxiety that feeling small causes us and its unlikely we can fix that. But honesty with a person you love does help lessen the blow i think

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Hello GoldenBoyX

I think I understand how you feel. 

First of all as many people say many girls don't care that much about penis size even if their preference is a big one, specially if they like you and you please them. If you're worried about your partner's pleasure fortunately there are many ways in which you could please her that don't involve your penis - I personally like to do things without my penis because I feel good that I can please her without it. I know you may have read it a thousand times and maybe that's not the answer you were looking for but I think it's true or at least in my very limited experience with girls.

I can relate to you when you say what you see when you think about your future children but that's something you can't control and even if you had a big penis they could have a small one. I hate it because I'd like my future children to have big penises so they don't have to feel this unnecessary insecurity but I know that a penis will not define them. 

I also feel pretty inadequate and my girl has an ex who I think had a bigger penis than me but she's never really told me even when I asked her. I try not to think too much about it but it's not that easy when I'm thinking about my penis size all day long.

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