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Venting(GRAPHIC but not too much so)

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I'm feeling all twisted up inside. I watched some irregular porn just now. I guess it could have been worse but it was about a guy tied down and a woman teasing this guy. And I masturbated. What can I do to redeem myself.

I want to have a girlfriend and a real relationship but it doesn't look possible as long as I am so messed up inside. Am I just a fucked up individual or does this have to do with SPS. I really hope it has to do with SPS and I am alright as a person coz then all I gotta do is have sex and my worries will either be confirmed or denied.

I have another thing to admit. Sometimes I watch webcam girls. I saw this one girl who got an orgasm using a toy by just penetrating it two inches or even less just playing it around. I asked her how this was possible. She said the g spot is located 2 inches in. She said size does not matter. I believed it but I also realized that there are women out there who wouldn't be satisfied with even an 8 inch dick. So everyone is different and to some size matters and to some not depending on their anatomy. I have the highest respect for all anatomies though I would be partial to women who are satisfied more easily for obvious reasons.

Women, if you are reading this, please respond to me. What should I do?

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Hello Anonymous. I think you are being v tough on yourself and you don't need to 'redeem yourself'. It's a difficult situation.

I also have a feeling that whatever I say will not reassure you.

You are looking for validation that probably has to come from within rather than from someone else.

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