Told there is no We here.

[Jjneedsyou]

My companion and I are a senior couple that do not reside together but we have been together for 6 years.  We travel together and share family get togethers.  He is part of my family and I felt part of his until his daughter (45) told me that there is no “WE” here.  To me this is a form of rejection and now I am very uncomfortable around her.   Her father has tried to talk to her but she hung up on him.  She has told him that he has changed and she has a good counsellor if he needs one.   He has been the same person since I have met him and he stays away from conflict.   We don’t see her too often but family get togethers on that side are not comfortable for me.   How do I deal with this.  

[Wayless]

Children often do not accept the new partners of parents.  Most likely, his daughter has mental issues which you are unlikely to change.  I presume her mother died or divorced her father.

Your partner might know more about it than he admits either to you or himself.   You will just have to decide if the pleasure of being with him at family gatherings outweighs the discomfort of being around his daughter.  Sorry for the sad situation.

 

 

[LaLa]

Hi, Jj, welcome!

Sorry for my late reply.

I have some questions to get a better picture of the problem.

I wonder about what precisely is the problem of his daughter and how much it affects her behaviour. Apart from saying what you quoted, what does she want from her father and how does she behave? Does she insist that you two break up? Is she mean to you? Or is she able to be at least relatively decent during family gatherings? 

And how much is her approval important and / or even friendship for you and for him? Or you mostly want her decent behaviour on the inevitable occasions when you meet?

Take care!