Jump to content
Mental Support Community

Self-conscious due to penis size


BryanM
 Share

Recommended Posts

I'm struggling with feeling quite self-conscious due to my penis size and I have not seen much support relating to my particular problems here.
I'm on the larger side and I feel like it's definitely noticeable when I'm not even "excited".
I have had issues before going to the beach where people have told me to stop "showing off" or that I'm being "inappropriate" just for existing.
I get called out and accused of being a creep for posting a selfie on social media and my it being obvious in my jeans
I've had judgemental looks in the changing rooms at the gym and I regularly notice people looking at it instead of making eye contact.

It makes me feel ashamed and embarrassed a lot of the time, and that's even before we get into the issues it causes in the bedroom. I feel like a freak a lot of the time and it's taking up so much headspace trying to hide it and being terrified for the next comment that will be made.

Has anyone else experienced this or have advice on how to overcome this?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi, BryanM, welcome! :)

I'm so sorry and disgusted people react to both "extremes of the bell curve" like total idiots... :( 

The only idea that comes to mind is "loose clothes", but it was surely your first idea, too, and it cannot always help...

Unfortunately, despite this is theoretically a "non-issue" (it's not a disease, not a deformation, ...), I would probably look for advise from and for people who are physically handicapped and have to cope with others weirdly looking at them. Although in their case, at least the "accusatory element" isn't present, so it might not help much. :( 

I wonder what advise men suffering from SPS would have for you...

I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say, at least today (I'm tired and don't have much time).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, LaLa said:

Hi, BryanM, welcome! :)

I'm so sorry and disgusted people react to both "extremes of the bell curve" like total idiots... :( 

The only idea that comes to mind is "loose clothes", but it was surely your first idea, too, and it cannot always help...

Unfortunately, despite this is theoretically a "non-issue" (it's not a disease, not a deformation, ...), I would probably look for advise from and for people who are physically handicapped and have to cope with others weirdly looking at them. Although in their case, at least the "accusatory element" isn't present, so it might not help much. :( 

I wonder what advise men suffering from SPS would have for you...

I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say, at least today (I'm tired and don't have much time).

Thank you, I appreciate the support!
It's something I was starting to open up about in therapy but she has gone on maternity leave now which sucks (for me, congrats to her lol)

Yeah loose clothes is something I do, but it's definitely a look that doesn't work for me and kinda drowns me. It helps slightly but it's still very present in my mind.

That sounds like an interesting idea, I may look into that as there may be some cross over. 

Thanks again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You're welcome, but sorry for not being actually helpful...

I'm glad to know you're in therapy. I hope it will really help, although each therapy needs time... Sorry to hear your therapist is not available right now. I don't know what usually happens when therapists are on maternity leaves! I imagined someone would "sit in" for them, but... it probable wouldn't work in case of psychotherapy as the relationship itself and "the history" are so important...

When should she be back?

Take care!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I suppose that there are 2 reasons for people claiming you are showing off or inappropriate:  1)  Jealousy.  2)  Prudishness (or moralism).

You probably need to focus on the motives.  You might try to be more aware of likely motives and thereby realize, it is them, not you.  Except among the immature, it is usually very uncommon to comment on a large size unless it is "suggestion" for sexual activity.

Lack of bulge has resulted in many comments directed at me over the years, though fewer than when I was young.  Lack of bulge means "lack of status" or lack of "sexual adequacy."

Showing a bulge is considered "attractive" and "masculine" in most circles as far as I can tell.  No bulge is the the opposite in the mind of most.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
On 8/26/2022 at 5:48 PM, Wayless said:

I suppose that there are 2 reasons for people claiming you are showing off or inappropriate:  1)  Jealousy.  2)  Prudishness (or moralism).

You probably need to focus on the motives.  You might try to be more aware of likely motives and thereby realize, it is them, not you.  Except among the immature, it is usually very uncommon to comment on a large size unless it is "suggestion" for sexual activity.

Lack of bulge has resulted in many comments directed at me over the years, though fewer than when I was young.  Lack of bulge means "lack of status" or lack of "sexual adequacy."

Showing a bulge is considered "attractive" and "masculine" in most circles as far as I can tell.  No bulge is the the opposite in the mind of most.

 

I appreciate the words, but although I know the motivation lies with the other person based on their own hang ups it brings little comfort in a moment where a comment is made, it still feels like I'm being attacked, however unjust such an attack may be. 

That may be how people see it, but it is certainly not what is relayed to me, I am told I am disgusting just for existing as I do more than anything else. Or treated as a specimen in a freakshow if I think back to the parties in my university days. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry your haveing a difficult time with this . I also have vary similar experience with looks and commitments.personaly I would say be your self . Do not let others stop you from being your best self.doint hide or try to minamize the size ie tight underwear,tape ect.be thankful for who u are. At times it may be uncomfortable for you but its who you are.doint let it stop you from haveing a beautiful life.enjoy it .love it . 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...