Why the labels?

[Just Me]

Everything has this stupid label of "disorder". I'm not disordered, neither is most of the people here. We're looking for order and enough of the "dis"sing us already. We get profiled right from the start line, lined up into these neat little studies, profiled into being the good little pegs that neatly fall into the pre-ordered holes.

Our help line, dial 1-800 my spouse/parents beat me. You too can join a support group that will rehash all the crap that goes with that. As if, when a person goes through any trauma is even capable of sorting through the 20 different emotions that layer over top of each other or is strong enough to deal with a single one of them. "you had no control over it", Here's YOUR sign! Of course we didn't have control over it otherwise we would not have been victimized in the first place! It's why therapists are called "the rapist" and for anyone who didn't get that, simply put a space between the first 3 letters of therapist and the rest of the word. Nope, I don't want to talk about it, why in the hell would I want to remember it? I also did not wish to be called a "victim". I'm angry as evident by my words, one of the many signs of post traumatic disorder. Gotta love disorder. No, we lived disorder, we wish to live order, we wish to live peace. Depressed? That's a disorder! Shame on you for being so disordered now.

You ever wonder why people don't talk about things, it's because the second we do there is a label thrown at us, a disorder, seriously we've all been shamed enough.

This isn't to anyone in particular just a rant in general. I ran to the net, felt so out of place reading the "profiles" the explanations of what it all should have been. I felt worse than I did. Numbers 1-10 of my profile did not match so who can I relate to now :confused: That day I broke down and called the abuse line to be greeted with the "hello, this is Catholic Charities". I completely understand that Catholic Charities is not a religious organization when it comes to this type of thing, they are just a foundation and a provider but the last thing I needed was any form of Jesus was going to save me or God bless and I was in no mood to meet in the basement of some church somewhere. Weeks later I realize I'm depressed, not just practicing active avoidance now, but depressed to the point where it's getting in the way of life and faking it isn't working so I looked for ways to get over it. Anyone ever read up on depression? Only 10% is due to physical depression but 90% of the people will suffer from it at least once in their lives aka non-medical, that's me, so why on page 2 where you get into the treatment is drugging a person #1 on the list of things to do? I don't want drugs, I want to ring someone's neck~ oh wait, that would be some form of anger/aggression thing, one of the many symptoms of post traumatic disorder. Once again, thanks for the "disorder"! Why is it that the second anyone says something like that they are aggressive rather than looking at it and saying the truth, they are simply frustrated. I was FRUSTRATED and the second I have to play a game of semantics with someone the conversation is over with.

I'm normal. I just went through some stuff. Most of us are normal, we just went through some stuff or are going through some stuff. I think the major reason why people don't reach out for help is because by the time we look into things on our own we've already been diagnosed 5 times over via the cue cards, labeled with at least 1 "disorder" and the system gets us angrier and more depressed than anything else. My one and only anxiety attack was the 24 hrs before I faced meeting with a counselor.

I didn't seek help because I didn't want a label. I didn't want to be diagnosed. I didn't want to be some statistic. I just wanted a place to unload. Shame on psychology today who's managed to make it so shameful for people to seek out help.

We are in a sad place in society. If you are angry,you are violent aggressive and may potentially blow something up or kills someone. Give me a break!

If you are depressed Prosaic will help. Prosaic is so common now days that you might as well call it Tylenol, everyone knows what it is, as a matter of fact, it's in the spelling dictionary. (roll eyes).

I could rant forever, bottom line is Freud is dead and good riddance. A rose can be just a rose without fitting some neat little ordered profile of some scientific classification and sometimes that rose needs a bit of care to be beautiful and that can all be done without needing to call it diseased and infected. For 90% of us just some water, sunshine and a pinch of Miracle Grow will do us.

Hail to Erickson, Bandler and Dobson, they didn't use labels, they just helped normal people through their ordinary crap. I would love to be able to find one of them or their students.

I hope every "shrink" reads this, I hope they hate what I wrote. I hope they hate it enough to be aware of it.

Cheers to everyone here who is normal! Which is everyone here. So you get a little jumpy when people raise their voices, so you get a little depressed sometimes, so you have a touch of repetitive nature, normal people experience some form of trauma in their lives and will experience a touch of "disorder" as a normal result and normal self protection. Let's become aware of our responses, love each other for our normalcy and move on. I've yet to find the person who wasn't a bit screwed up because of their parents. Newsflash we are NORMAL! Not all of us have suffered the same experiences or to the same extremes but I've seen people flip out over a broken finger nail and scrape on the knee to extremes that those labeled "disordered" would laugh at. Who gets to call who "disordered"! :eek:

Some of us do need medication and that's all well and good and nothing at all to be ashamed about, for some of us it's temporary, for others it's life long but do not for one second call yourself or allow anyone else to call you "disordered". I am here to tell you, you are normal. We all live our private lives of silent fears and tears, that's what being normal is all about.

[malign]

Wow, this one's still warm! :-)

Yeah, I don't particularly need a label for what I have. But we do need words to describe what we're experiencing. Personally, I don't mind the word "disorder" for my situation, because it's defined as "something that interferes significantly with life", and that seems to fit me. You don't have to agree. And I don't relinquish the label of "normal", either. You can fight against the words themselves, or against the idea that there's some absolute measurement underlying them. Either way works.

[Just Me]

Correct and thank you. Sometimes labels do give us order. The ability to say "I have _____" and then go find out that you are 1 in X amount of people with the same thing and be able to finally get help for it is a great thing. Sometimes labels are what helps to give normalcy to it all.

I still don't care for the wording, disorder, dysfunctional, mal_______ it's like it's all come communicable disease. I also know that to general society the second anyone goes through anything no matter how normal, they are outcasted so sometimes those labels and generalities hurt as much as they can help.

[mscat]

Well, I do agree with you, I am one not to like labels. however, I see the need for them as well. Where it becomes screwy is when people idenify themselves as the the label.. I have even seen it happen with parents of special needs children. One of the first things professionals teach parents NOT to do ! Your child is a CHILD beofre anything else.. Do not lose sight of this before the DISABILITY. A LABEL in my mind is really not anything at all. Because it is not who u are. DO not get caught up in it. Many professional don't even discuss with their clients/patients what it is that ails them.. Not for a long time for this very reason! Not until the professionals knows for certain this is what is going on, and it takes a whie to know!

Heck I did not Ask! I found out, because i read what I was being treated for, on the med list... what the targeted list of symtoms were. Even then THe Psych. DR.had not come right out and say I was such and such. THOSE are just WORDS. meaningless words to me. It does give a sense of direction though, and a Psychatrist needs to diagnose because he/she has to treat the patient accordingly .

I read through your post, However, your right on a certain level, but, missing other critical elements . Because it lacks the fact that many people suffer from very severe illness, or trauma, that cannot just be swept away , or even placed a label at, given meds , or even talked about, helps, Many people have been through things that are to the extreme, so I know the anger of your post. However, I wish I could be angry like you and simplistic. Unfortunately, it is not that easy for me, like I wrote before I do not give a care about labels, I just wish the pain and real life experiences of trauma , of YRS. can be erased ... to me it looks like your forunate enough to been be mad about labels.

[AndreaB]

I never reallt thought about my being depressed as a disorder it has always been an illness for me, but see where you're coming from. I'm labled as mental ill. That I find harsh and sad it makes me ashamed. It's not like I can help that I'm ill just like a person can't help that their blind. As far as medication I love it. I feel so much better than walking around thinking of ways to kill myself. I would rather talk to a therapist than a family member or friend they always say snap out of it "WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?" We can't just snap out of it but we can find ways to deal with it. I don't mind being labled as long as I'm treated normal....WHAT IS NORMAL?

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi AndreaB,

I agree with you and, in fact, I do not believe that you or anyone should think of themselves as being "mentally ill.":mad:

Yes, you become depressed and, yes, you take medication, and yes, you see a therapist. OK. So what?

As far as talking to family as a way of getting help, I also agree with you. Too many family and friends say "snap out of it." Right, snap you fingers and all is gone!!! It is silly. :mad:

So, do not feel bad about any of this and do what you need to do to feel better. Besides, I agree again, "WHAT IS NORMAL, ANYWAY:D

[confused12]

Hi Just Me,

Sometimes labels can be beneficial. I am having difficulty at the moment with my eldest son, he is 7. He is currently having difficulty's at school in regards to reading and writing but has some other personal characteristics which all fit as criteria for a label. His school wont label him and they feel it will be unfair and stigmatizing. So as a result they will not refer him to a educational psych for assessment and they do not have to provide the specialist support program he really needs.

It is disappointing that as a educated parent who can see beyond the disorder and know that he is a little boy who is rather frustrated can not get the support he needs at school because the school thinks they are looking in his best interest by not labeling him.

It is also disappointing that one needs a label to actually be provided funding and support to which everyone should be entitled to especially at that age.

Sorry a bit of a rant. But beyond the labels we are all unique human beings, I guess that is what makes us so complex and interesting. What works for one may not work for others. I guess this is where generic criteria lets us humans down.

Confused12

[karai]

Hi Just Me,

Yes, it's not nice being labelled but society needs it to keep some sense of order (of your disorders!), and to put you, the round peg, into the square hole! I guess it's needed for accounting and funding and statistics and all that record-keeping stuff. Labels are not precise, nobody fits one to a "T", but I guess it's important for treatment by insurance companies, etc. Whether you accept it or not, it's good that it makes you mad. Ranting is good. Get it all out. I hope you feel better now and it has cleared your mind out a bit. Like you, I rant (on paper--this leaves more room in my mind, to prevent too much clutter when new junk forms up there). Getting rid of of all that trash helps one to think better. Whether people agree with you or not, you've brought up something for all of us labelled people to think about. Yes, we're people first!

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Confused12,

I am concerned about your son. Over the years I have learned that parents of school age children who start to pester school officials get results. Remember the old saying, "The squeaky wheel gets the grease." So, do not accept what the school says. Go to the next administrator: the principal, the assisant superintendant, the superintendant, the news paper.

I predict you will get results if you complain step by step.

Also, there are reading programs outside of school some of which are really good. Of course, they cost money. That is why you must insist on the school having him evaluated.

What do you think?

Allan:(

[mscat]

Hi Just Me,

Sometimes labels can be beneficial. I am having difficulty at the moment with my eldest son, he is 7. He is currently having difficulty's at school in regards to reading and writing but has some other personal characteristics which all fit as criteria for a label. His school wont label him and they feel it will be unfair and stigmatizing. So as a result they will not refer him to a educational psych for assessment and they do not have to provide the specialist support program he really needs.

It is disappointing that as a educated parent who can see beyond the disorder and know that he is a little boy who is rather frustrated can not get the support he needs at school because the school thinks they are looking in his best interest by not labeling him.

It is also disappointing that one needs a label to actually be provided funding and support to which everyone should be entitled to especially at that age.

Sorry a bit of a rant. But beyond the labels we are all unique human beings, I guess that is what makes us so complex and interesting. What works for one may not work for others. I guess this is where generic criteria lets us humans down.

Confused12

Has the school done an education assessmet? he is entiled to one. If he has had on, then you as his parent should have met with the school and discussed the results. You did not have to agree with the results. At that time, is when it needed to be brought up that your wishes are to have have be evaluated further. The school needed to give you a referral . They are not to "wipe their hands clean" They may have said some along the lines of having an outside assessment done , without the school, paying for it. The parent is able to provide this for their child.

If you do not have the support of the school district right now, you may want to turn to the mental health services. Rule out any behavioral issues that might be effecting your child's learning abilites. Aslo, if he is having any behavioral difficulties at school or at home this can all be addressed with a full psych evaluation from a child psych.

I'd also consider taking him to a Pediatric developmental specialist. You can get your childs Medical Dr. to help you get a a referral. What I've learned over the years of having a child with special needs is that the parent has to be the advacate for their child. You have to fight for your child's right's for educational services. Sometimes, and espeically when the school is not .

[Just Me]

Hi Just Me,

Sometimes labels can be beneficial. I am having difficulty at the moment with my eldest son, he is 7. He is currently having difficulty's at school in regards to reading and writing but has some other personal characteristics which all fit as criteria for a label. His school wont label him and they feel it will be unfair and stigmatizing. So as a result they will not refer him to a educational psych for assessment and they do not have to provide the specialist support program he really needs.

It is disappointing that as a educated parent who can see beyond the disorder and know that he is a little boy who is rather frustrated can not get the support he needs at school because the school thinks they are looking in his best interest by not labeling him.

It is also disappointing that one needs a label to actually be provided funding and support to which everyone should be entitled to especially at that age.

Sorry a bit of a rant. But beyond the labels we are all unique human beings, I guess that is what makes us so complex and interesting. What works for one may not work for others. I guess this is where generic criteria lets us humans down.

Confused12

Been there, done that! Same for my son, they refused to classify him as ld for the longest and most important years. How much I have learned since. Know your rights! Research NCLB and IDEA along with your states department of education. You are also correct in the label where it can be purposeful. My son always felt stupid and never go the help he needed until of this little label called dyslexia and with that he finally got the help that worked for him. Might I recommend "Davis" for you, there is an excellent book out there "The gift of Dyslexia". While your son may have other problems as well this covers the basics and it's all very plain and simple. For you and your son, it's a definite place to start. As far as the school goes, you have legal rights you aren't even aware of, such as legal aid is free because your son is a minor, this allows a trained law clerk or attorney to represent your child in their classification process along with their entire school progress for little things such as IEP meetings. Good luck and don't be fooled by administration. They lied to me and my son paid the price for it.

[Just Me]

Hi Just Me,

Yes, it's not nice being labelled but society needs it to keep some sense of order (of your disorders!), and to put you, the round peg, into the square hole! I guess it's needed for accounting and funding and statistics and all that record-keeping stuff. Labels are not precise, nobody fits one to a "T", but I guess it's important for treatment by insurance companies, etc. Whether you accept it or not, it's good that it makes you mad. Ranting is good. Get it all out. I hope you feel better now and it has cleared your mind out a bit. Like you, I rant (on paper--this leaves more room in my mind, to prevent too much clutter when new junk forms up there). Getting rid of of all that trash helps one to think better. Whether people agree with you or not, you've brought up something for all of us labelled people to think about. Yes, we're people first!

Thank you. I've recently found the value of writing, otherwise we sit and stew and think too much.