Heartbroken & desperate for the pain to stop

[SweetSue]

well me again, i know, im just feelin right now.

my heart is broken, as is my spirit and soul.

I am hurting so deeply, its beyond all words.

my babies that step further out of my reach. my insides feel dead, and i just want this agony to come to an end.

this is torture

[smallstar]

Sue, I'm so sorry for your pain. Just try to hold on to that little bit of hope to get you through. Keep your strength and your determination to get you home and get a step closer to your babies. Don't give up Jj, you can beat this.

[mscat]

Sue,

I am so very sorry for your sadness and pain. I know that your hurting so badly and it feels hopeless right now to you. Don't give up. You will get out of the hospital, and be able to start fighting over for your rights as a mother to your chilren.

Again, my heart is breaking for you. I feel your pain.

Cathy

[mabear]

You can do this, I believe in your strength.

[SweetSue]

thankyou star, cathy and mabear for your kind words.

things are feeling raw, and my emotions are low, inner strength at the moment feels depleted. Im existing, yet empty.

[IrmaJean]

JJ, I'm sorry that you are in such pain.

I agree with Cathy that once you get out of the hospital, you can fight to get your children back. I think I speak for all us here in saying that we're behind you, Sue. I sense a powerful determination in you that won't be denied.

[notmary]

Hi Jj

I hope that you can take your beautiful spirit and give yourself the love and kindness that you have given to me and to so many others on this site. I know that someone with that much love within themselves is a good person. You deserve to be happy!

[SweetSue]

Hi IrmaJean, Thankyou for your kind words, and encouragement, you always help me, thanks hun.

Hi notmary, Thankyou so much, I know how difficult things are for you right now, and I truely hope that things for you improove soon.

Thankyou Everyone, for your ongoing support and kindness,thanks for listening to me and helping me through this never ending nightmare that I find myself in.

I feel at a loss with myself right now Im heartbroken, dont know how to end the pain or if this feeling will ever just stop. Im just sad and dont know what to do with myself, maybe I am wollowing in self pity, I dont know anymore, I just feel asthough Im dying inside and just waiting for the outside to catch up with the rest of me. Is ok though, coz Im stubborn, I just need to find a way out of the darkness and out into the daylight

[IrmaJean]

I think that, understandably, you're hurting right now after court and that has likely intensified the pain you'd already been dealing with. I think it's okay to allow your emotions... your disappointment and hurt right now...as long as it doesn't swallow you. You can't work through the pain unless you face it.

For me during my worst days when I was slipping into depression, I'd try to get at the pain and stare it right in the face. Allow it, understand it...get to know the whys behind it...and then eventually let it go and move on... that much wiser and stronger. Or something like that...

While these past few days have been very challenging, they are steps along the path. Sometimes a half a step backwards leads to one full step forward. Take care.

[SweetSue]

I guess you could say that im sulking, and rightly so.

My heart is broken into that many shards that its become dust. I feel dead inside.

I dont want to do anything, I cant eat, I dont want to sleep, I dont want to be awake either. I just want to lay here, on my bed, where Ive become lodged this past day, and not budge.

I have important decissions that need to be made, and soon. I cant really face them. A big part of me wonders if I lay here long enough, and do nothing (coz thats all i am capeable of) I can just dissapear.