Knowing What To Say

[Guest GingerSnap]

I know this has come up before but sometimes it is hard to know what to say. I see a post someone has made and no one has responded and since I don't understand mental health, like conditions or meds, I can only be a "Grandma" in my responses. I don't want to make anyone feel worse. Because I'm older, the world I grew up in was so much different, so much easier, and so much better. In school a child with a behavioral problem was usually no more than laughing or maybe being out of their seat when they shouldn't be. I'm thinking that what I am looking for is "peace" and that is what others may very well be looking for also. I have my answer and just need my plan. My heart goes out to all that need advice and help but my head just might not have anything to offer.

Edited October 30, 2009 by GingerSnap
Fixing my errors, if only I could see like I did 30 years ago

[Donna]

i havnt got that much to say now lol but i feel exactly the same!

there's often so much i want to say and want to help but dont know how to say it, i dont have any knowledge of anything and am always worried of saying the wrong thing, im also not very good expressing what i think or feel which is a bit of a stumbling block.

im glad you posted this GingerSnap, thankyou!

[notmary]

I feel exactly like this. It feels like I am so incredibly messed up I can't possibly offer any help or advice to anyone.

[malign]

So, if we were a Dear Abby place, we'd have Dear Abby on staff.

We're a support group. Everybody has a story to tell. They don't have to, but they can, and it does help. People need to know that they're not alone. People need to hear from other people who are as "messed up" as they are, both for the emotional support and for the experiences that can be shared. Some people have had success in one area, and others have had success somewhere else. If we pool our knowledge, we at least know a little more.

Besides knowledge, and in my opinion more important that knowledge, is emotional support. We can all understand when a person says they're suffering, even if we've never heard of what they're suffering from. When we have some common experience, even if we haven't found a solution, sharing our problems helps us to feel a little less alone.

We owe it to each other to help each other along, even if that's just "I'm pulling for you." That's my view, at least. And, most of the time, we each find our own solution, and no one else's would work. It still helps to have people cheer you on.

Doesn't hurt to be able to type quickly, too. ;-)

[David O]

Donna, Notmarry and Gingersnap,

A quick look at your posts, and within seconds, found these gems:

Gingersnap: Being used really isn't about putting anyone first, it is about inappropriately trying to be appreciated and loved. I just do the "right" thing and no one steals my joy

Sometimes, I have just found people that want to be unhappy and resent it if you try to change that.

Donna: if it's not considered the 'norm' by a large % of society then there must be something wrong - right?

Dominant or submissive,everyone to different extents and sometimes Dominant people express it in a more aggresive rather than productive way, Dominant people tend to instinctively attract submissive people and vice versa and can either bring out the worst or best in people. And often submissive people invite it without even realising it and put themselves in difficult positons, of course that doesnt excuse bullying.

there's nothing or no one to blame for a vivid imagination or sexual fantasys,

Notmary: As I start to remember the horror of what he did to me I realize that I was nothing just an object to him. I hate this. I hate me. I can't keep remembering these things. I dont have any fight left in me. When I try to sleep these memories (is that what they are) overwhelm me. I try to knock myself out with sleeping pills or wine but the nightmares find me

Not all this is therapy is therapeutic and not all that is therapeutic is therapy. It seems clear to me that each of us has something rich to add to the conversation. Sometimes it's thru our wisdom or thru simple sharing that bonds us and helps us heal.

It doesn't take credentials and training... simple compassion, understanding, sensitivity and wisdom require only life experience, which is really the most effective counselor.

David

Edited November 1, 2009 by David O

[SweetSue]

I just write whatever I think at the time of replying. Depends what mood Im in really.

Sometimes I panic about what I have written, and have to fight the urge not to hit the edit tab.

But whatever you write as long as your heart is in the right place, then Im sure its ok.