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insulted by psych nurse.


Donna
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i have recieved a copy of an assessment letter to my gps from the psychiatric nurse, in it it states that 'Donna has struggled with anorexia most of her life, and is currently fat'.

im really really hurt in fact i am more than that, i cant begin to describe just how sh!tty it has made me feel.

i am also really really angry and humiliated..is he allowed to say something so personal and tactless like that? it seems wrong to me.

I am not happy about it at all :mad:

f*ck f*ck f*ck this has really made my day, i feel like jumping in front of a bus get the fat squashed out of me.

i am going to his clinic monday and going to knock the shit out of him :mad:

i dont know if ive posted in the right section sorry.

Edited by Donna
typo
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Hey Donna,

I guess the p/nurses are still as helpful and sympathetic as ever back home :mad:

Donna you are not fat, and the p/nurse is well out of order and if I was you I would be angry too, rightfully so. Its really hurtful when you seee stuff like that written down and then knowing its going to be iin your medical files aswell just adds to the pain. It takes the "P" that p/nurses are allowed or think that they are allowed to say things like that without giving it a second thought about all the hurt that there words cause.

I would say make an official complaint, but we both know that complaints rarely if ever get dealt with appropriately.

Hun, I dont have the words to express just how out of order that letter is.

Please dont allow some p/nurses ignorance to get to you too much, dont give them the satisfaction of you taking there words out upon yourself.

Sorry Im not of any help, just wanted to say I kinda understand, just how infurriating these assessment letters can be.

Take care

sue

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I agree with jessicajane - this nurse's comment (the latter part of it at least) was totally out of order, and superfluous in the circumstances.

I recall an experience in the course of my own in residential alcohol rehab. I had been there for three weeks - four, counting detox - and was perfectly sober, stable (as far as one can be after years of excessive drinking), and contributing positively (as everyone told me) to the group rehab process. Most mornings, I was up before the rest of the group, took a shower, and went for a brisk 20 minute walk in the grounds. On the particular morning, I was a little late, and found myself in the shower when the shower door was opened by a junior female nurse, "checking that I was up and all right". I know that this was part of the hospital's safety protocol but, I assure you, it is a bit unnerving for a middle-aged man to be ... interrupted in these circumstances by a female stranger young enough to be his daughter (technically, grand-daughter). I must confess I was less than appreciative of the nurse's intervention, given that I had singularly failed to show any suicidal tendencies in the shower over the preceding month. And I told her so.

Later, in a group therapy session, one of the counsellors felt moved to comment that "one member of the group" had been "rude" to a nurse (circumstances unspecified) and should perhaps consider the sensitivities of the nurse, and make "appropriate" apologies. I promptly identified myself as the "culprit", and made the point that while I regretted any hurt feelings on the part of the nurse, it might be better if some regard were had, within safety protocols, of the individual circumstances of patients subject to it. No more was said by the staff. However, several of my fellow patients said to me afterwards that they were grateful for my stand. They had also been suffering from indiscriminate interference from well-meaning staff who failed to have regard to their individual circumstances.

Truth is - it is natural for psych nurses, working with particular classes of problem on a constant basis, to fail to treat patients with full consideration from time to time. I think that this sort of generalisation of response is common in working life in general. For that reason, I would not take it personally - notwithstanding the fact that the nurse concerned was certainly out of order in your case. I would certainly consider complaining and, if you do, make your position quite clear and stand up for yourself. However, whatever you do, don't let it get you down. It has to do with the other person, who may have their own problems coping with their work. It has no objective bearing on you. I have read most of your previous posts, and you strike me as a very positive person, notwithstanding the difficulties that have brought you here. Stay that way - and don't let the ... so-and-sos get you down !

Very best regards,

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Thankyou for the support especially after the language i used!

id like to apologise for that, it's inappropriate and i know it's offensive to a lot of people, Im sorry about that.

I tend to express myself by swearing an awful lot when i am angry,im not sure why because it's definately not helpful and it's a poor sign of intelligence :D if i ever had any lol.

Sue, you did help thankyou everyone did just by replying and i know no-one better than you here knows exactly how those reports and assesments go and what damage they can cause..though i wish you didnt.

I must have read the letter a hundred times but because i was so angry and hurt by that comment i didnt realise just how many mistakes are actually in that assesment, both mistakes and total misrepresentations of things that i said to him and him to me, apart from one tiny paragraph nothing was noted about the reason i was referred there in the first place. even my GP will be able to recognise all the mistakes and missing parts.

I wasnt even there to see him about any eating or weight related problems and that was barely touched on other than me turning down his suggestion that i go back to the ED unit - which in the letter he got totally wrong,he gave the name of a totally different hospital and town and stated i had had many stays in the ward.. i always refused inpatient care! :confused:

He also stated i had had group therapy sessions at the BPD network house then quit as i couldnt handle it, in reality i had 3 assessments and it was decided by the counsellor and myself that it wouldnt work for me, ive never had any form of therapy in my life!

He has also recommended and referred me back to the BPD sessions apparantly at my request :confused: i told him clearly that i DIDNT want that and my gp had felt that i should have one on one counselling, in fact the day i saw this guy (idiot?) he also agreed group therapy wasnt suitable for me and the appt finished after he had suggested i join a well womans social group,(he said that doesnt help just means i get to chat and have a coffee with other women) consider the holistic approach,(neither him or myself actually knew what that was lol) pay for a private counsellor (i dont have the finances available), then finally saying he would 'delve around on the internet to see what he could find'

There are a million and one other mistakes in there, not to mention his phrasing and spelling..for eg the whole sentence that says i am fat goes like this.

'Donna has struggled with anorexia most of her life, and is currently fat but objectively requested that she was not unduly concerned about her weight'.

im definately no scholar but -objectively requested? what's he actually saying? because it makes absolutely no sense to me.

And to say im not 'unduly concerned about her weight' is a farce, it's the thing im most concerned about and is in my head 24/7 and anyone asking me anything about my weight knows that i have very strong negative concerns about it lol and to say someone struggles with anorexia but is not unduly concerned about their weight is absolutely ridiculous and a contradiction in terms!

I am still very very hurt and angry and am feeling really low, i know im sounding pathetic but it really has gotten to me as Claire said it is offensive,abusive and cruel, it is to anybody.

It's also i think actually a potentially dangerous thing to say to somebody who has an ED, what if he said that to somebody who is in or wants recovery?

I was not offensive ignorant or rude to him, i have extreme difficulty answering any questions and being open about anything sensitive, its a part of my problem which he knew and i answered as much as i possibly could in full,and he even stated at the beginning of the letter that although my mood was flat and i looked tired i quickly developed an appropriate rapport so it cant be that i annoyed him - surely?

John R, i accept and agree with you that people have problems coping at times whatever that job might be,but in that kind of a proffession they cant allow themselves to let it get in their way (surely that is included in their training?) just as the nurse that you 'upset' shouldnt have done,what she reacted inappropriately and was tactless i think she should have apologised to you - it must have been incredibly embarrasing!

In my longwinded way (im still angry and rambling or ranting lol) what im saying is im going to take everyones advice,find out who i should report him to and kick up a stink, he is not in my eyes doing his job correctly and is totally inadequate and im sure i cant be the only person he has hurt...claire you're right, he should be fired!

Edited by Donna
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Believe me, I fully support you in this - I think most of us In Here appreciate the problem. Like you, I fail to understand what "objectively requested" means. Also, I find it difficult to understand how, in the circumstances as I understand them, a professional could suggest that you are not unduly concerned about your weight. Although then again - "not unduly concerned" might be taken to suggest that the nurse considers that one may have good reason to be "duly concerned" ... no, actually, that thought in itself suggests that your nurse merely expressed an inconsiderate, ill-thought-out, less-than-constructive comment. An act of laziness, perhaps ? Perhaps - but no more excusable for that.

As I said before, you seem to me a positive sort of person. Really, this comment has impacted seriously on you, but has more to do with the ignorance and carelessness of the commentator than it does with you yourself.

Beir beannacht,

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Donna,

WTF? That is totally cruel on this psych nurse's response , I am shocked as well as mordified , that he had the balls to have wrote that??? :confused: was this out of sarcasm? this is the only thing I can make out of it . Still highly inapropriote on his part. Having had both anorexia and bulimia myself for several years in the past I know for a fact that this is the absolute worst thing to know , or find out . Regardless how you find out . It is NOT TRUE . ok !!! I would place in a complaint , about that man for certain, because that was totally a lie, and he put down on a medical record something untrue.

It pissess me off too , because I feel for you very much. I am very sorry this happened to you .

mscat

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I saw my GP today and took the letter..good thing i did because though it's supposed to be a circular he said he didnt recieve a copy.

He read it and said dont worry about it, that it will have been a mistake by whoever took down what he dictated, but the nurse wont have said fat but might have said thin that he can see im not fat but he understands im angry and upset,that he understood i wont believe him (too right!) just disregard it.

I tried to point out all the mistakes but had got a bit upset by then so he just said its not worth getting upset about,prescribed some anti-depressants and a cpl of sleeping pills with the suggestion to go back in 2 weeks time see how im doing.

he didnt understand ''objectively requested'' either and said take no notice that doesnt mean anything either and doesnt make sense....it was a total waste of time really.

I felt like i was being disregarded never mind the letter!

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Donna,

I want to join the chorus of others in condemming what was written by the psych nurse. In fact, I do not agree that it is not worth complaining. I believe you should go to the patient relations department and file a complaint and ther reason. You can submit a copy of the letter as evidence. In point of fact, it makes no difference whether or not there was an error in transcribing the letter. The result was that something harmful and damaging was produced. Considering the fact that you deal with anoexia, it is an error that is even more damaging. I would even go so far as to consider consulting an attorney to see if a law suit is worth producing.

As for you GP, it's easy for him to say "its nothing, forget about it." What a jerk.

Anyway, it is my opinion that filing a complaint against the nurse is better than doing nothing because it will help you feel that you have done something useful and that is always better than feeling helpless.

Allan

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i have recieved a copy of an assessment letter to my gps from the psychiatric nurse, in it it states that 'Donna has struggled with anorexia most of her life, and is currently fat'.

im really really hurt in fact i am more than that, i cant begin to describe just how sh!tty it has made me feel.

i am also really really angry and humiliated..is he allowed to say something so personal and tactless like that? it seems wrong to me.

I am not happy about it at all :mad:

f*ck f*ck f*ck this has really made my day, i feel like jumping in front of a bus get the fat squashed out of me.

i am going to his clinic monday and going to knock the shit out of him :mad:

i dont know if ive posted in the right section sorry.

If the avatar ia current pic honey your not fat....and who is he to judge what is fat and what is not...it all depends on how tall you are and how much you weigh to be considered over weight(NOT FAT0 fat is a rude word and should not be used by someone with out a degree let alone be used by some one whom is supposed to have an educated degree and way of speaking. I guess your pnurse sleept through most of thier degree...I would consider confronting this person, but thats me i have an anger problem(I THINK)

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Thankyou :D

I dont think the GP really understood and because i got upset (it's never nice to have to admit your fat lol) i couldnt fully point out all the mistakes in the letter when he asked me to- though he knows my history and should have seen them for himself.

Im not sure whether to complain or not now, i dont want anybody else to be hurt but knowing the system i know nothing will be done.

It would be hypocritcal anyway because ive gained 3 lbs since that letter!

Lacey, no thats not a recent picture it's about a yr old but im back up to that size again so i use it as a kind of reminder so each day i can look and think i cant continue to be so huge ..it's a bit hard to explain ;)..and it's also a reminder that i can smile sometimes lol

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Ilook@allthelonelypeople

Donna, the way that nurse behaved is absolutely horrible. He (or it?) should have known better.

Have you ever seen the Jack Nicholson classic, “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”? There’s a scene in which the main character realizes his psychiatric nurse is there for less than benevolent reasons. As he puts it, “She ain’t honest.”

I’d like to say that everyone in the psychiatric profession (from nurses on up) is imbued with a general sense of goodwill, but, there are monsters (and idiots) in every profession. This guy is an imbecile.

You definitely have a right to be angry.

Also, don’t think you need to be as skinny as you are in your profile picture to be acceptable. :D

A video for you to watch, and think about:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi Ilook@allthelonelypeople,

I don't think I know you so I want to welcome you.

Yes, isn't that movie just great? Nurse Kratchette, she was really the "crazy one" in the movie.

How are you and tell us some about your self.

Allan:)

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