Nervous

[SweetSue]

Im stressing, like over well everything really, my panic attacks are getting overwhelming and its getting to the point where well there dosnt feel like a point, everything is just boiling and I feel like I cant handle doing the simplist of things its really stupid well it seems be that way and its just too flipping much i need things to just calm the heck down but theres always something going on and i just cant deal with it all i need to get out of here have to get my kids back have to go to court again and dont want to take stupid meds anymore got court again soon and thats freaking me out god only knows why geez ive been to court so many times this year that by now the court room attendants know me and well i want too just scream and keep on screaming till everything just goes away which is stupid and childish coz thats never going to happen and i have had enough of meds that seem to be only making me more flipping wound up and nervous and i really am not sure what i am going to do or how to do it or if theres any point anyway just :eek:

[finding my way]

Anticipating that court time has GOT to be part of your anxiety! Sorry the meds aren't helping:(. Can you build your safety, your calm, by pulling yourself into the here and now, finding something that is calm to look at and breathe with? Are there any plants where you are? It could be a picture....

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7c/Dew_on_green_Plant.jpg

The idea is to find peace here in the moment, and build on it. When your mind flies away and goes to that court date, breathe and gently bring it back to here and now, and the safety of here and now.

Sorry you are going through this Jj

[Donna]

Sue,

Im sorry you've still got the whole court thing hanging over you, i know how hard that is and it would be pointless me saying try not to think about it..cos ..well i know it just doesnt work that way but when you are thinking about it could you try take a deep breath,think of the positive things that could happen? maybe write down any ideas, things you believe might be to your advantage.

Im not much use sorry, just hang on in there, dont give up fighting - for your health as well as your children, and keep telling yourself this wont last forever...your future will get brighter and you will get better, you just have to keep on working at it and have faith in yourself.

easy to say i know ..but thats the way it goes. (imo anyway)

you can do it, you really really can..and we are all willing you on

[Guest GingerSnap]

Sue: I have to agree with both findingmyway and Donna. You have to find something to hang onto - I know, easier said than done. I have two ways of coping and forgive me if I am repeating myself, it's the being older thing and having a lot on my mind thing, but find a happy place in your own head, a memory, a place, something that you can bring forth in your mind to give yourself a break from what is going on - I know it hurts to think about moments with the kids but I am guessing those were probably the best times of your life - maybe envision just a place where you and the kids used to have fun and then when that fades away or becomes painful think like I do again - by next spring, Christmas, 24 hours from now - this will be over whatever the :eek: dreaded thing is - I use this all the time so I don't get so stressed out and it works for me and is the best I have to offer. Another thing that I always say to myself is "You are not alone." as I feel that their are spirits of dear loved ones that have passed to the other side that help hold me up in the worst of times. - OK, now see, you have had me bare all my secrets and keys that make me seem strong like I can handle anything.

[SweetSue]

thanks everyone, really thankyou just things have been and probably are just out of realistic proportion at the moment and things just arent slowing down got like too many thoughts going round in my head and they are not slowing doawn long enough for me to sort them into any particular place ok that dont make sense sorry just having real trouble concentrating and things are just making me really jumpy and on edge but theres no reason really or atleast i dont think there is dreading xmas and the court case thingy and then like the adoption panel in jan and ok thats like months away but try telling my head to forget for now and well it just dont listen and then theres my flipping meds which really are just making me worse or atleast i think that they are and i really really miss my babies and theres not a damn thing i can do about it even though i just feel like stealing them back from the social services coz like for some reason i feel like they have been stolen from me oh i dont know none of this makes any sense right now and i just need to slow down and shut my head up, stop this world from spinning so damn fast coz i cant keep up with it all just really want everything to stop and go away i dont really know whats going on i mean i have a rough idea but thats it nothing else is really registering and i think that i should tell the p/doc but how can i when i have this case coming up soon and that anything like this will just be held against me coz i have to be stable to stand any hope in hells chance of getting any of this flipping mess sorted out

[malign]

Well, if you don't tell the Pdoc, you're going to have to do it yourself.

Heck, that's what you're going to have to do once you're discharged, too.

Consider this a test for whether you can live on your own.

You know the exercises that they give you, breathing, yoga, distraction, whatever they've taught you. But it's you that going to have to use them and make them work for you.

If your brain insists on running, make it write things down. Then you can feel like it's all there in front of you, and doesn't need to stay in your head, especially things that are months away.

[SweetSue]

consider it a test for whether i can live on my own !!!!

Im never going to live on my own , i have my babies and im damn well going to get them back and right this moment in time i dont care too much how i go about it getting my babies back is what all the stress is about, i think well its certainly making things worse my voices and that get worse when i get stressed thats just the way it is

and like i have been trying to calm myself down all flipping day but it is really hard to do the breathing thingy and yoga when my head is racing but i am trying thanks for your help i know i have to do this on my own and that i am the only one that can do this, thanks mark

[malign]

By "on your own", I meant, without Pdocs. Of course you're going to live with your kids, but you're going to have to be well enough to take care of them. That means not having to make such an effort to take care of yourself.

I'm sorry that it's so difficult, that's all.

[Guest GingerSnap]

Sue: I am sorry that you aren't thinking clearly now and have all the racing thoughts coming at you. Keeping in mind that I don't really understand being hospitalized there, I can't help but wonder if telling the p/doc that the medication isn't working might be a good idea. They have to see you there and know something is going on with you. I think that if you show them that you are willing to communicate about what is going on with you that it might show that you want to work with them so that you can get sprung from there and get your kids back.:confused: Like I said, I really don't understand what you are going through. I know they told me that to medicate my son would be difficult because he is unable to communicate how the medication would be making him feel and that would be very important in determining what and how much to give him. So, maybe a willingness to communicate with them that you aren't doing well, which they have probably already guessed, might end up working to your benefit? I just don't know what else to say. I am concerned for you and I don't want to say anything to offend you so am just putting ideas out there that come to mind to show you I care dear, please take care. Cathy

[SweetSue]

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone that has posted on this thread,

I have now calmed down quite a bit, I dont normally get myself worked up into such a state, and well Im really embarrassed now, especially when reading back what I wrote, like none of it really makes sense.

Thankyou all of you for taking the time and patience to read through what were some of the longest sentences I have ever written. (oops)

Forgot in my panic that like breathing kinda helps (just a little)

Take care

Jj

[Guest GingerSnap]

Sue: It is probably good that you post and then are able to go back over it when you calm down. You should see the letters I write when going "full-steam" about an issue. Be thankful you won't be on the receiving end of any of those - I try to inspire action. Glad you are thinking clearly again. Never regret expressing your feelings in words and don't stop doing it. We all have "those" moments my dear. Cathy

[finding my way]

How are things today, Jj?

[SweetSue]

hi finding

Im actually feeling ok , Ive managed to remain a lot calmer today, and erm I dont know really I think I feel happy :eek:

Crumbs its not very often I able to say that, think that maybe things will be alright

thanks finding

take care

Jj

[finding my way]

You are building your world, Dear Jj, and finding your footing. These fogs that roll in are temporary;). Cheers