This Just SUCKS

[SweetSue]

It sucks I hate it whole heartedly, Im sick to death of like everything, none of it matters, and quite honestlly Im struggling big time with trying to put a damn smile on things, when obviously I have nothing to smile about. Dont know what to do, cant be bothered doing anything anyway. my heart feels so broken its never going to repair, I miss my babies so much its killing me. And now I sound like the most ungratedul "B" going on a whinging expedition. Got a leter today from my solisitor, enclosed was a copy of a recent report handed into the courts, describing me as among other things, aggresive (like eh ?) un sociable, un co operative etc, blah de blah de blah blah blah . Can things get any better ? This sucks :mad:

[malign]

So, okay, Sue, someone has described you as uncooperative; are you going to stop cooperating, as a result?

Someone described you as unsociable; are you going to hide away?

Someone described you as aggressive; are you going to get angry?

I don't think you are.

Those reactions are all quite possible, though, if you take a report like that personally. Or if you let your situation, which we both know is temporary, overwhelm you into thoughts like "nothing matters".

Basically, you know your emotions are all over the map, recently. Problem is, none of us can do anything about that. You're it, sorry. You're the only one who can help herself when she's afraid, who can calm herself when she's hyper.

Once you can keep your emotions on a more even footing, you can start thinking again. Whatever you might say, I know you have a good brain in there. It just gets overwhelmed by all the feelings, sometimes.

For instance, what are the chances of challenging that report? You have a solicitor; can they get an independent person to review your case? At least, can you get specific information on what "aggression" you are supposed to have done?

There are all sorts of ways to handle your situation, you know. You have to choose whether you want the emotions to decide what you do, or something else.

[really]

I know you feel broken, broken in two, shattered, I get it. And I wish I could take your pain away.

But believe it or not this too shall pass. Don't know how long its gonna take but oneday your heart will heal. Oneday it will all just be better because nothing stays the same - not nothing.

And you most certainly don't sound like a whiny ungrateful B.

[SweetSue]

mark

yes, yes , and erm maybe.

and ofcourse Im gonna take it personally. IT IS PERSONAL

yep I can appeal against what she wrote, but now theres always that element of doubt in the judges mind, even if i do proove her wrong, its just something extra right now I really did not need. and yes i know i have to do this on my own ~ i get that, I knew that, i was just whinging coz yeah the whole thing has upset me, to the point of just screwing up. just feel like everyone is against us as a family in particular me being part of the family. ~ and yes thats just a tad upsetting.

Thanks Vicki

Im sure it will pass in its own, tediously long drawn out way, thanks for your kind words.

[malign]

Well, sweety, you know I'm on your side.

I just don't know how to smooth over the bumps, a lot of the time.

Not knowing how isn't the same as not wanting to, but the results are similar.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, right now.

[SweetSue]

it dosnt matter now anyway, thankyou for all your help take care ok

[IrmaJean]

It matters, Sue. Your feelings matter. I'm sorry that you are upset, but I'm glad you're able to express what you've been feeling with us.

I, for one, know there is a great deal of kindness in that heart of yours. You've shown it time and time again in your empathy and caring toward others who are hurting.

I'm on your side too. You can appeal this.

Hang in there, Sue.

[SweetSue]

I know Im going to appeal it, if Im brave enough. Just scared that people can think that way about me, when I truely dont believe I am like that or even remember ever being like that. Probably over reacting, I get like this when Im on overload ~ Im sorry. I didnt mean to waste anybodies time, and I apprieciate all the kind replies, just im sorry ok.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Jj,

Not only can you appeal this but what about speaking to your psychiatrists about this? Perhaps they can help on your behalf?

Allan

[SweetSue]

Hi Allan,

Thankyou , Im planning on appealing, and have spoken my p/doc here and he is willing to submit a letter to the courts. So Im hoping it will help a little, but thats if its allowed as evidence as all the phsychiatric reports have to be independantly done.

I think mostly now that I have calmed down, that I need to get this into perspective, even though what the social worker has said about me can potentially be very damaging to my case, it is after all just one persons view and judgement. Our personalities clash or something, coz she has been against me from word dot.

Well I just need to refocus, push her hurtful comments as far out of mind as possible (not easy) and concentrate on what is important. Thats continuing to get better (coz I think I am) getting home, and then fighting to get my babies home with me.

Just have to focus now, on the road ahead.

Thankyou for all your help

take care

Jj