Back from Hospital

[08hduc]

Nothing like a stay at the Behavioral Health Center to make you realize you are not this sickest fish in the pond. Man do i have empathy for what some of these folks are going through.

Anyway, got my meds adjusted and feel good but now have a hand jerk that drive me batty. But since the lower dose made me homicidal I guess it was a good trade. Now I stand at: Pristique 50md daily, Trileptal 600mg BID, Resperdone 6mg bid, and Lunesta 3mg at hs.

My only regret from this hospitalization is getting into a fight the first day. The attacker was delusional and thought I was a rival for a gal on the unit. When he pushed me I was totally off my nut and really hurt him badly. Other than that it was a productive visit. Hopefully my last (yeah right).

[Lindamomof7]

Hey welcome back!!! Glad you went for the safe route....

Yes it's nice to know there are sicker fish then us....

I know about the fight thing too. It makes the stay an intersting one right?

I really wish you luck and I'm sure some tweaking of the meds will be in order but hopefully not a hospital visit???

Now if I can just keep myself out that would be good...

Again, welcome back....

[Symora]

Welcome back 08hduc, nice to have you back I was just wondering today how you were doing and if you had found some appropriate medication. So have the episodes completely disappeared?

[musemuse]

Glad your meds are adjusted and working well. I'm sure it will take a little time for the meds to get into the system to work better. At least you recognize the delusion; some people don't. So you are blessed.

God bless you and keep you,

[Luna-]

Welcome back 'duc. It's good to see you here again

[08hduc]

Man O Man am I full of rage today. Got into to it 2 times today with jerks. My wife asked what I was feeling at that moment and all i could come up with that I felt like people were walking all over me. Were they in reality? Who knows! Sure felt that way to me. Anywho, will call the PA in the AM and see what he says. And I thought I was all fixed up:mad:

[David O]

Good morning 08hduc,

Welcome back! I always imagine how disorienting it must be to go into the hospital and return home and things have changed somehow.

I noted in your posts that there seems to be a slight pattern of getting into it with others and was wondering if this is a common thing? If it is, does the stress from these incidents or just have long term rage increase your risk of relapse?

In settings where are high levels of expressed emotion, the relapse rate can sometimes be 2-5 times higher than in homes where there is less distress, tension and discomfort.

One thing the meds can't do is teach stress management, frustration tolerance, impulse control and coping strategies-- are any of these things that you're seeing someone about?

I'm glad you're back and please write back,

David

[08hduc]

I noted in your posts that there seems to be a slight pattern of getting into it with others and was wondering if this is a common thing? If it is, does the stress from these incidents or just have long term rage increase your risk of relapse? David

Hi David. Well, there was never a pattern until this MH crap started. From my tenure with the military and being a reserve police officer I have seen so much violence, damage and pain. In the military I let my rifle do the talking. But as a reserve I learned to let my mouth defuse the situation. So in civilian situations I was always the one who used words over violence. Until now!

During my recent hospitalization something surfaced during a group therapy: I hate where I live. Bottom Line; I hate the people where I live.

We moved to this hell hole in 2006 because a local employer was offering a $20k sign on bonus. Since the wife and I were in the same field that was $40k so we made the haul down here and bought a house. Big mistake, now we're in a house we can not sell due to economic times. Sure we could walk away but that would destroy our credit rating that we have worked so hard for over 20+ years to build.

Why do I hate it so much? I am surrounded on a daily basis by criminals. Almost everywhere you go here the clerk, waiter, sales person etc. is an illegal alien. Were are 8 miles from the Mexican border and criminal aliens walk around like they own the place. Human stash houses, drug stash houses, coyote's are everywhere. We have groups of illegals wearing back packs and carrying water bottles come through our neighborhood almost every night. There is trash everywhere as these people live worse than animals. Hell, yesterday we went to Golden Corral for lunch. When we came out some asshole has crammed chicken drumsticks into the bed rail holes of my pickup. You can't pull into any parking lot and not run over a damn tossed diaper. It is disgusting.

Pheww, had to walk away for a while there as I started seeing red:eek:

Therapist said moving might resolve a lot of my issues seeing they didn't start until I had been here for 1 year. Trying would mean a major sacrifice for the entire family, but so would me loosing it and winding up in prison for killing someone I guess.

Sorry to rant on so long in reply to a short question but that is how much this subject owns me. Thanks again for the reply.

[David O]

Hmmm... not sure how to respond to this since I started in the US as an "illegal" Mexican, as did what remained of my family. We were migrant workers, working 14 hour days in the fields-- picking cotton, grapes, onion, garlic, tomatoes, potatoes, etc., in 110-115 degree heat. We moved around, following the crops from state to state, living in tents and bathing in man-made canals-- all this to keep food prices low, for our own survival since we couldn't return to a dictatorship, and b/c no American (whether Black or White or native American) wanted to do the work. The undenaible and absolute hatred, open discrimination, beatings and mistreatments from many Americans who chased us down in their pickups so they could "put a beatin on you f__in spics!" created tremendous tensions in our community growing up. I think it best if we realize that there is often another side to this situations.

I think your therapist is right tho.. moving away from your primary stressors usually resolves a huge percent of what is creating this situation. Another less attractive approach, loathe as this is to many who complain about "those illegals" is to befriend a few, what you'll discover is that once this happens, your property and who you are becomes a part of the protected turf. I do this daily when entering urban settings where most of my clients, who are mentally ill, live in poverty and extreme conditions, (90% are African Americans who've struggled for decades and distrust outsiders). In 10 years of going into the inner city daily, I've never been bothered, neither has my car (an Infiniti) and it was mostly to do with my approach to the community.

Good luck,

David