Lindamomof7 Posted May 22, 2010 Report Share Posted May 22, 2010 ---------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symora Posted May 23, 2010 Report Share Posted May 23, 2010 Tough questions I know that I now cope differently than I used to. I don't have the resilience I used to have because of so many years of fighting depression. I become edgier faster, when I am stressed I become a basket case quicker. I'm more wore out than I used to be. On the other hand I have more wisdom so I know the situations to avoid and when to say no to a greater degree. So many different components make up a human being, so many layers, and it changes over time and with life experience.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted May 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 23, 2010 ---------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted May 23, 2010 Report Share Posted May 23, 2010 ... I guess this is just another way bipolar/ptsd has wrecked havoc on my brain …... I don't have the resilience I used to have ...... when I am stressed I become a basket case quicker ...... I'm more worn out than I used to be ...Linda, Symora,These are statements that I can relate to as well, oh so much. I'm no longer the person I used to be. Not through getting older but through my BP having worsened over the past several years. And I don't have it half as bad as you do Linda, with so much med resistance - you're heroic, you know?But yes, I don't have as much resilience. It's a recurring theme in therapy, building my resilience up again. I'm tired and worn out. (Good luck with the next two days, Symora.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Luna- Posted May 23, 2010 Report Share Posted May 23, 2010 *Nodding*Still, getting out of bed, coming here, thinking about stuff, it has to be worth something... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Luna- Posted May 23, 2010 Report Share Posted May 23, 2010 My heart just flew out to you when I read this Linda. It's such a ghastly feeling. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted May 24, 2010 Report Share Posted May 24, 2010 Linda, are you feeling any better today? I hope so.I was pretty amazed during therapy when I discovered that just about everything (aside from any inherited tendencies) with my personality went back to my relationship with my mother and what I learned through being raised with my brother. Very eye-opening. I think our minds try to find ways of balance and coping within our environments. These patterns of behavior may remain with us even when our situations change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2010 ------------------------ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DahliMOMMA Posted May 24, 2010 Report Share Posted May 24, 2010 Wow, Guys. I can relate to so much of what you guys have posted about. For me, in recent months, a lot of it has been looking back in my life and seeing times when I have had difficultly and never could quite understand why I had such difficulty and felt misunderstood and "why me?" particularly childhood. Now everything makes sense and I am like "OOoooohh, the Bipolar/ADHD/ADD! Now I get it!!" It makes me sad and angry somehow...that this was missed for 35 years. I had things SSOOOOOooooooo much harder as a child/teen...if they, if I, had only known I might have had a chance at some semblance of a normal life then with proper treatment/medications.I guess one way to put it is that there is this sense of "mourning" the life I might have had and didn't. I am trying to keep my head about it though and not romanticize that things would've been 180. I still was the same person under all the extremes and flaky, erratic behavior. I still have to 'own' my life and my behavior and move forward in getting healthy and having the best life I can from this point on instead of living in the distant past.I can have no regrets in my life if I choose to live in the present and work daily on becoming the best version of me I am capable of being. That person will always be bipolar and have the history and mental make-up I have but I need to focus on what control I DO HAVE... and live in the here and now with myself as I am, just striving to be the best I can and accepting that that best may not always be exactly where I hope to be but never giving up that 'power' to self doubt.I will never be perfect, never 'issue free'...but I CAN WORK on being 'happy' and being the wife, mother, friend and self I deserve to be, and the people around me deserve to live with ~~to the best of my ability. Even knowing that what I am able to actually be and do can change one day/hour/minute to the next...if I am doing 'my best' and not diving in to self-doubt and self-pity I will try to make the choice to be content with myself.(sorry, if that came across like a preachy little 'be happy' sermon. Reading it I do realize it might. Just really trying to make peace with this in my life & this is how I am working on doing that.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted May 24, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2010 ----------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted May 25, 2010 Report Share Posted May 25, 2010 ... looks like I have to stop prazacin now because of extreme dizziness ...Linda-I'm guess the dizziness is from a too-drastic lowering of blood pressure; did the doc try cutting your dose or are you off it? (I guess that's why you've been researching BP and B(lood)P(ressure)?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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