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Such a long... so very long and lonely night...


Jetliner

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Posted

Good morning John,

Catch me up would you with a very brief summary? What I read last nite has long left my mind (a benefit or problem with being old). ACtually, I'll go back and read up on what's been happening and will gladly sit with you and chat. Any coffee and scones over there?

David

Posted

HHhmmmm, not bad coffee... got any French Vanilla or Hazelnut to go with it. For some reason I like that rat poison, the powdered crap, better than the liquid coffee creamer. I have some scones that we can share. This is my 1st real cycber-coffee here, even tho Luna, Danni, Irmajean and others are always inviting me over when they know I'm busy.

It's good to be back, my life somehow seems more fulfilled by the presence of you guys--- very, very strange coming from someone who 1/2 century ago was herding goats in the Sierra Madres, milking cows and holding a plow pulled by a mule team.

Not famailiar with that song, I'll look it up on YouTube, I tend to listen to a lot of World Music, such as Buena Vista Social Club (Cuba), LadySmith Black Mambazo (South African diamond mines), Cesario Evora (Cape Verde), Ricardo Lemvo (Senegal) and others. Not much of a taste for this on this forum I don't think, but it does give me deep vibes.

Here' let me get another cup and let's here some music (strange to your ears I know):

Cesaria Evora - Cabo Verde

Ladysmith Black Mambazo - Hello My Baby

Well.. I know these will not be to many people's taste (probably no ones'), but it's what it grew up with.

David

Posted

This was no David and Goliath tale.... no big bad Philistines trying to take over my village, no voices telling me to pick a stone as a weapon... just a tiny little boy taking care of our most treasured items, about 12-15 goats.

We had a plot of land, about the size of 2 football fields, way out in the middle of nowhere (in the Chihuahuan Desert, which was broken by the Sierra Madre mountains, which is the Rockies going into Mexico), and it would take 1/2 ride on a unimog (

at the very least, to get in-- plus 3/4 day via horseback.

Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Posted

Yes that was me. I've just replied actually. I see a lot of similarities. Like I said on there I've been trying my CBT about this. And I think we are both guilty of "mind reading". And sometime this makes thoughts snowball into a big evil avalanche. When perhaps they were just litlle snow flakes really. (I just made that up that was quite good for me!! :P )

My point is that if someone backs away, it maye seem worse in your mind than it is. Perhaps you could write down all your thoughts about it and analyse if they are as bad as you think. Like i say this is something I am very guilty of myself, so not preaching just might help.

As I said in your other thread about someone having feelings for me and I backed away a bit. He had a conversation with a mutual friend about how AWFUL things were and how he had nearly had an accident in his car because he couldn't stop thinking about the horrendous mistake he had made. This was just before we got back in contact. Because to me I had seen the situation completely differently. I was just a bit unsure of what to say and thought I'd give him some space and not been seen to give out wrong signals. But in no way was I thinking of it in the terms he had been. I didn't hate him, or think he had done some terrible wrong. I was just a bit embarrassed about how I should deal with it. We had completely different perspectives. Does this make sense?

So perhaps how you feel about yourself or about how someone else feels about you may not be the true perspective.

Posted

John, I am so sorry I wasn't here for you this AM. :P H asked me to work for him last night. His back has been hurting. It's good that you found someone to sit with you. I'm home now and you know how to get in touch. I'm sorry you're hurting so much.

Posted

Yes, I know that feeling well, though more specifically it is about being unable to relieve a loved one's pain. It is my childhood...my mother...and it has always been my number one trigger.

Interesting.

I hope tonight is less painful for you.

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