Jump to content
Mental Support Community

I had a car crash.


Calla
 Share

Recommended Posts

Today, thankfully all unhurt and cars actually not that much damage considering the impact!! But very shaken. Nobody here knows who I am and I would hold my hands up if I was at fault but I promise you it was the other driver....however (and here comes my mental health angle) I was very angry when we exchanged details especially as he attacked me verbally saying it was my fault. But now my obsessive side has come out. Every detail is playing again and again. I feel guilty for being aggressive! Even though I was being attacked. This will play on an endless loop for weeks.

The majority of my behaviour is obsessive at the moment and I have read that certain meds are better for this...I think it's ssri meds? But I am worried about the side effects. Or whether they will even help. But it all comes down to obsessive for me....about my looks, about replaying every situation I go through. Getting obsessive about men!! :rolleyes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Calla,

sorry to hear about your car accident. I'm really glad you weren't hurt!! It's such a scary thing no matter who's fault it was!! I don't know the process for insurance and things there in the UK but I hope for you that the truth will be obvious and you can get your car fixed with little hassle. I was in an accident awhile ago now. I'm not particularily obsessive but I still perseverated on the details of it for a long time. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you. All I can hope for you is that you don't beat yourself up too much. It wasn't your fault.

There are meds that can help with obsessive tendencies. You could talk to your dr. about those. Have you thought any more about a therapist. That first step takes much courage and is really really scary but the results for your life may make it worth the risk. You're the only one who knows what's best for you though.

PS... Did you get a puppy???

Take care of yourself. :rolleyes:

Edited by danni
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Calla, I'm glad that you weren't seriously injured. Sounds scary! I can imagine running things over and over in your mind when something traumatic like this happens.

Obsessive thoughts can really be stressful. I have my moments with this as well. I can understand your being worried about the side-effects of medications. If you do decide to go to the doctor, as danni says, he will help you with understanding all of this. Did you ever find a new doctor? I know your last one wasn't very supportive. I hope you will consider this.

Glad you are okay, Calla! :rolleyes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Calla, I am glad that you are ok. Be careful out there... I know that as of late (ok for a while now) I have been very distracted because of issues. It took a fairly serious car crash, which wasn't my fault but may have been avoided if I was concentrating, to remind me that a car isn't the place for distraction. Take care of yourself!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks you all. Like I say I do honestly say it wasn't my fault but also feel that I am not the best driver sometimes because of my "preoccupations"!! But I would tell you if I felt that I was at fault...cause lets be honest I am fairly open here!!

My work situation is fairly odd in that I am freelance. And so last week I finally plucked up the courage to phone the Dr and ended up working a full week over 100miles from where i live!! So it was impossible....which means I have to phone on monday.....so be prepared for a flurry of activity from me on monday!!!

I am also working a 60hr week end of this month!!! So am waiting until after that to sort out a puppy!!! I can't tell you what therapy it has been for me looking at pics of puppies!! I know that sounds stupid!! My avatar also really doesn't fit with someone who has anger issues!!!! My Mum has said that if I have to work away they would help with a dog if they were there.....usually I work away 3 nights a month.

I do want help because otherwise I feel my life does have to end because I couldn't take potentially 50 more yrs of this!! But I am very very scared. And I find the concept of medication helping with obsessive thoughts a bit strange...if that makes sense?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Calla,

I'm really sorry to hear you have been involved in such a traumatic incident, i gather you are stuggling to cope to some extent? (Correct me if i'm wrong!).

We can't change the past, thinking things over and over won't help but to make things worse. Yet somehow i also do this as do many others, we all analyse different parts, i often go into a panic about the very thing that triggered my PTSD, in truth (and i've never told anyone this before), i never did get it resolved, i couldn't talk to the therapist about it, nobody.

How are you getting on with your book? Are you finding it useful?

Please don't fall into the same trap as me, don't let work rule your life. I spent a good 6 years of hell working my way to the top and finding out that i was stuck on top of sh*t tower, the boss decided good payback for quitting on him and telling him what an absolute asshole he was would be to destroy my network of contacts (including some very good friendships). I hope i never see that guy again because i'll....him.

Hope you are well, Take Care, [[James]].

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are right I am struggling with it....the problem is that I would struggle if I accidently nudged someone going through a doorway or something as innocuous. I can't help but play every situation over again and again....it's like water torture!!

My work is strange...when I work in a certain place I feel more at home there than I ever did in my last place...it's just the hrs are all over the place...I can do 20hrs a month or 60hrs a week!! It's weird way of working. But I'm self employed so have to go with it now.

Hope you are ok :rolleyes: I'm slightly worried though that given my age it makes me Dame Judi Dench as M!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well i'm sorry to hear it's so tough for you right now, i hope you take a step closer to getting your issues sorted out when you visit the doctor on monday.

I'm also visiting the doctor on monday, chances are he'll lock me up though.

Remember if you need any support feel free to PM me at any time, i'm a listening ear...

Dame Judi Dench as M? he he, that also makes you very powerful.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No it just makes me old!!! I'd rather be Miss Moneypenny!!!

I have an idea you can go on monday and then travel down and come with me!! That is a joke....sort of, I know some people don't understand this but I am VERY scared!!

Good luck with your visit, let us know. x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest GingerSnap

Calla: I am so glad you were not hurt. I can see that this "obsessive" thing is a problem. I guess you know it is eroding your life at this point. If you are not comfortable seeing a counselor, have you tried mentioning this to your regular medical doctor? That could at least be a place to start because this is not good for your physical health either. So.......

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow! So sorry to hear about your accident. I'm very glad no one was hurt. I was in a bad accident in 1997 and the other guy immediately admitted fault. But, a few days later he changed his stroy and I was thrust into a legal battle I did not ask for! I absolutely obsessed about every detail. But, you know what, in the end, it didn't matter. The fact is, the cops take measurements and statements and pictures for a reason! It was clear he was at fault and all my worrying and stressing was for naught. Once the police report was handed over to the insurance company, the situation completely changed. I'm hoping the same is true for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was in love with a man a few years ago who couldn't be around me yet he liked to talk to me for hours on the phone and claimed he loved me. When I broke up with him he then admitted to me that he had OCD but didn’t go into the details because he was too embarrassed. He told me his medication and CBT was working so well that he could function again. I used to work with him 8 hrs a day 5 days a week, so I know it must have helped him.

Monday I have several doctors visits myself and I will be thinking of you.

That sounds just like me! There is someone I like who I text constantly but cant actually be around. We are only friends of course and he goes off and does his thing. He has been very good to me recently although I think I have over stepped the mark now. I got very drunk again last night, it started after the accident...I'm so stupid :mad: Then I end up getting angry at him, when really I am angry at myself because I can't be normal.

Today I feel so awful....I hate myself for drinking.

Hope you are ok.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is closely linked with OCD, all the obssessive thoughts. And as my book says they think it is more common then we know because people are ashamed to admit it. I mean I would never have said anything on here if people could see my face. I would guess...although maybe I am generalising...that it would be more difficult for a man to admit. It seems more acceptable for women to be "insecure" if that makes sense.

But as you say, if I have ever approached the subject of my looks with people I know they think I am just after compliments...or just being insecure and they get annoyed. So after a while you learn not to say anything.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I sometimes feel insecure about my looks, i used to get plenty of offers from women but i would feel so insecure i would have to make an excuse or distance myself (even though i really wanted to be with them).

Most men would never admit to this, me included. Only because you have no idea who i am {{off screen}} can i say these things.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have LOTS of pictures on my facebook...but strangely I think this is part of it. I take endless photos of myself trying to see if "it" is true. And if I manage to take one which looks ok and not what I see in the mirror it goes on there. In my mind I am just thinking that all the people from my past know I am ugly, if I can take a photo in a good light they may think I am ok now....I know it all sounds weird and messed up. I was bullied at school for being a "minger".

And yes according to the book there are lots of degress to it. Some people function "normally" and you'd never know the anguish they truly face. Others become house bound.

I'm seeing more and more about it. There was the young man I spoke about you commited suicide. Last night there was a programme about a glamour model here who has endless surgery and she has been diagnosed with it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh and going back to the car crash...it is causing me problems. I can't stop replaying it in my mind. And the man phoned me up today and wanted to meet me!! I said no, he could be a serial killer or anything! My Dad is going to phone him later just so he doesn't think I am a female on my own.

The problem here is the police dont attend if there is noone hurt and the road is clear. So you have to give some stranger who is angry with you, your phone number and address. It's very worrying. I really dont need the stress. And now I am trying to pluck up the courage to call the dr!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is with the insurance company but the man has rung me personally and been funny. He has my number and address so I'm not happy about that. He said it wasn't worth going through ins and my car would be a write off which will make me worse off no matter who is at fault so I agreed I didn't want to claim but then he tries to get me to privately pay him, hassling me to meet in person. I just said look it was your fault but if you still disagree go through ins and hung up....I just dont need the stress.

And yes I was ringing to get an appointment. Didn't get one, have to ring back weds first thing. I am now working tomorrow and wont get home till gone 2am and it really throws me out if I then have to get up so early :) Nothings ever easy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...