windsybarbie Posted August 29, 2010 Report Share Posted August 29, 2010 Hi there:When I am activated or a new alter, I tend to want to take about 4 extra sleeping pills. Especially if my parts think that she is not getting the answer that she is really hoping for. Then she is distraught, needy and acts like a victim etc...and feels no one is listening or cares about her. However lately I don't know how to control these feelings, and not hurt people ....However, when I do take the extra pills, I seem to do things like when i was drunk. Such as write emails to admin of school, causse family issues etc....My family see me going to CSU- crisis stabalization unit a hospital. I only have been admitted to psych dep't twice. I usually get sent to CSU to calm down & respite....I was off of psych drugs or using emergency services for 5 years. I only went back on in late 2008 when I was showing signs of hypomania. Also that is beginning of my processes of memory.My question is "How do you explain to others, professionals or family or work that you are afraid to die, and you are not suicidal as per say....you just are hurting so bad and you are not thinking straight and think that is the only way out....That is not my part's intention at all...I now realized I take pills when I feel abandoned/neglected b/c I distinctly remember going in med cabinet and take mom's anxiety meds. This is why I resort to taking overdose of pills and then my sister has to pick up the pieces. My part was blaming and retreating and hurting my family.Now when I try to explain that I am doing well compared to others with BP< DID> PTSD etc....This is when we FIGHT, I get activated/upset and they get angry and I end up hanging up on them and feel shamed/guilt/remorse/self hatred etc...Has anyone else felt this way and how do you explain, your suicidal ideation was to reach out for help not to kill yourself. I would be interested in knowing what people think or their experinces. Thanks... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustTrying Posted August 30, 2010 Report Share Posted August 30, 2010 Having had several suicide attempts over the years ..... none in the past year or so..... sometimes I wanted to really die and sometimes I just wanted people to realize that I was hurting and just wanted the hurt to stop. Looked for years for that "magic" pill that would take all the pain away. The ones that did made me into a zombie.My therapist has helped me the most...JT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 I agree with JTI have also had many, many serious attempts and they were not done to ask for help. But thsi past year for me in general has been better and a few times I had the frustrated comflicted feeling of dying/killing myself and then so frustrated I have no other way to yell at the top of my world , I am very sick and need help!!! Help me someone!!!:eek: So in those times I have taken a half ass attempt of pills to first feel "different" then I'm feeling at the moment in hopes just to change that feeling.... and of course that becomes noticable to family and off to the hospital. Gees I should have a plaque with my name on it on the wall with my name!!!! So yes please get some good help and talk out why and how you can help yourself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goose Posted September 1, 2010 Report Share Posted September 1, 2010 The reason why I have taken extra pills at times is to get away from stressful situations. I get so overwhelmed by a situation and feel hopeless, I know I am not intending to kill myself but I can act on impulse at times.Fortunately my therapist is helping me find alternative ways of getting away from these situations, so I don't have to turn to pills all the time.Wishing you all the bestGoose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron.X.C Posted September 1, 2010 Report Share Posted September 1, 2010 It's not a suicide attempt if you do not mean it to be. It's only a suicide attempt if your actually attempting to kill yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bezoman Posted January 5, 2011 Report Share Posted January 5, 2011 I overdosed on my risperidone one day at work, 5 mg up from my usual 1. Damn near knocked me out cold. My boss took me to the hospital and everyone there from the admissions desk to the doctor who looked at me asked if I had attempted suicide. Even several of my co-workers had asked if I was trying to kill myself.In truth, I had an inexplicable surge of anger that day and I had taken extra risperidone in an attempt to help me calm down. It didn't work. I realize now that this was far too much of an increase in meds and my body couldn't take it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leo1954 Posted March 13, 2011 Report Share Posted March 13, 2011 I am new here but i have been in va. beach psych unit 18 times for overdosing on pills i haven't done it since 2008 it's not fun when i come out i wish i could stay in there for some reason it is a more stable enviroment to me instead of being out in the real world that i hate! i have tried to commit sucicde many times but just keep bouncing back i guess i am either a failure out of it or just not meant to be i know ther are 2 things at this time to keep me going Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted March 13, 2011 Report Share Posted March 13, 2011 Leo after your hospital stays did they set you up with a PHP(partial hospital plan) or IOP(intensive hospital plan) which are outpatient programs used as a transition from hospital to home. Have you ever tried those programs as more support for when you are out of the hospital? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leo1954 Posted March 13, 2011 Report Share Posted March 13, 2011 Yes I Did Go to a partial hosp. and intens. programs for alot of disorders that i have it took me a while to open up because i didn't know what was wrong with me until 1993 i have been struggling since then something traumatic happened and i had to out of state to a rehab. for 4 months i have failed in 2 marriages because i thought abuse was the only way i was suppose to live for what i had been instilled in me now in the past almost 3 yr.s everything has been coming back i also believe my daughter his paying for what has happened to me she is an innocent human being why should she be punished the saying is you were picked as a special person to take this well i have never been special to anybody but i will do anything to make sure what i went through she won't can't handle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted March 13, 2011 Report Share Posted March 13, 2011 ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscat Posted March 13, 2011 Report Share Posted March 13, 2011 This is the way I percieve it... Taking too many pills is no different then harming yourself> falls into the same catorgory as self injury, especially if the intent is not to kill yourself. YES, nearly every night I will take too many of pills .. esp, the anxiety meds, because I can feel relaxed, and knocks me out too. Sometimes an extra anti psychotic pill here and there... Oddly, I have not really taken my other meds that I am suppose to take either, including the morning ones, cause the night before has put me into a slumber , waking up in the afternoon. Even worse, taking the nightly meds after getting drunk. Yep , know it is not the smart thing to do, but in a drunken state I am soo happy , feeling great, and then come home, take a few too many pills and knock off. Not a sucide attempt it is just anther way to self injure. I have a longgg history of self harm that has looked like sucide attempts. But needing mental health services for so long, i know what to say. Just say no.. No to all the professionals , and to especially the Psych. DR's. Sometimes it is a yes, but I am not ever going to say yes, I am fearful of being in a hospital ... Too much to lose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khepri Posted March 20, 2011 Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 I overdosed on my risperidone one day at work, 5 mg up from my usual 1. Damn near knocked me out cold. My boss took me to the hospital and everyone there from the admissions desk to the doctor who looked at me asked if I had attempted suicide. Even several of my co-workers had asked if I was trying to kill myself.In truth, I had an inexplicable surge of anger that day and I had taken extra risperidone in an attempt to help me calm down. It didn't work. I realize now that this was far too much of an increase in meds and my body couldn't take it.Yeah, that's one potent medication. It made my life hell when I was on it. I don't know how others can stand it. Be careful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymous3 Posted August 28, 2011 Report Share Posted August 28, 2011 like some guy above said, its only a suicide attempt if you did it with the genuine intention of ending your own life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted August 29, 2011 Report Share Posted August 29, 2011 This raises a huge question and is worth lots of discussion...I think.Anonymous, you said: like some guy above said, its only a suicide attempt if you did it with the genuine intention of ending your own life. I do not wish to make you angry, Khepri, and I am not even talking about you at all, but, isn't possible that sometimes there are accidents that are not accidents? What about the idea that behind some mistakes, there is a wish to end one's life?I hope for a lively discussion.Allan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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