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Maybe I just need a break


LaLa
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Hello, everybody,

It's always so sad for me when somebody annouces s/he's going to leave this community. I don't want to leave. Not because I would suppose anybody to be sad about it (but just in case... I don't want to risk it :(), but because I don't want to leave people who became so important and dear to me. But I think about "leaving" quite often, even so. Maybe I should write about it here. Maybe there will be some insightful comments, as usualy.

I like so much reading about others here and learning from them, as well as from my own reactions. But it seems to me, now probably even more than before, that I don't have anything to offer. Anything but my interest and compassion. Yes, we all know it's important, too. I remebered how I felt everytime when somebody showed me his/her interest and/or compassion. But this time, it seems to me I feel mostly the despair from the fact that I can't help. I should start a thread about it in General support, shouldn't I? Called "How fo you cope with the feeling that you want to help but can't?" No, I will not. Maybe somebody else will. I write here, not being sure why, to announce I want to try to have a break to focus on my own life, the problems I tried to ignore so much knowing that I'll have to face them sooner or later. The "later" (or better: too late) has come. I need to be more focused, I need to ignore Facebook, ... and probably also eventually not to visit this page every day. Once a week would be fine (?). I will not stay in touch with the people I'd like to stay in touch with. Is it bad? Isn't it just a price I have to pay to become focused on solving my own problems?

When I was thinking of this post this morning, I came to a strange "question": I don't want to hear from you any possible comments trying to convince me that "me being here wasn't naught" or that "I hepled somebody here somehow". If somebody would like to have comments on this issue, then just try to recall one memory of a concrete moment when you was thinking for a while that something I'd written was helpful. But no; this is not "an appeal"! This is only a try to prevent some possible "hazy" comments trying to tell me "why I should not leave". Maybe I just need to hear some good reasons why to leave (- as I don't want to, but maybe it would be good)!

OK, I think I shoud add a context to this babble: I really need to stop with this "never-ending" procrastination, as now I have the last chance (if there really is any left!). And one of my typical activities, which substitute what I have to do, is reading and writing here.

So... hopefuly, I will have a break. Not sure if it's possible, but... I had to announce it to feel that "now I really have to do it or I will look as an idiot".

I think it's long enought now, so I go... Hopefully without any typical editing! I'm sure I've made a lot of mistakes, but I will leave them here as they are.

I wish everybody good luck... and take care!

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LaLa,

You've been a valuable contributor here, and a friend.

That's all anyone has to offer, in my opinion.

But I know you have a thesis to write, and that you might need to push yourself to finish it.

So, how about if we leave it as, you're welcome back whenever you need us; now, hurry up and finish making yourself a doctor of philosophy! :-)

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I don't know if I "may" reply. And I don't know how. Maybe just be honest and tell you I'm crying. Thanks. :(

P.S. (when stopped crying): By the way, today, my husband is printing his dissertation. That's one of the reasons why I hope this could be "a new beginning" for me. Just until to today, we were so stressed about his thesis and I never wanted to look at my own problems and ask him for help, as he was more important for me.

Edited by LaLa3
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Hi Lala,

Here is the one thing I remember from the response you gave to that very first post I put up about being afraid to cry in front of my therapist: You wrote many things, but this is what made so much sense--Crying in front of a therapist is no different than having a fever in front of a doctor. Well, of course! :eek:

I have enjoyed "typing" with you. I hope you get your thesis done and visit here often!

By the way, I have never cried in front of him yet, and I still wonder how it would feel! :(

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi LaLa,

I am sorry to see you leave the community. Perhaps, one day, you will return. I do not know why you believe you have not contributed? How do we measure contributions, either here or in life? To my way of thinking, each and every individual person is important and enriches my life. For me, that is enough. If I can get to know a person even better, good, and if I cannot, so what? We are all important and just being here helps.

Well, I send you off with warmth and good cheer. Best of Luck to you in all you want and plan to do.

Allan:)

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Dearest Lala

It's very unlike me to quote from the Bible, but these words came to mind when I read your post:

"To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven."

A time to arrive, a time to linger, a time to take a break, a time to leave. And only you know when each time comes. Trust what your instincts tell you, you have good instincts. At least this isn't a once-and-for-all decision. Also, you can leave as quickly or as slowly as you like.

Forums and Facebook can become a time sponge. They are also a great WAB'ing tool (that's Work Avoidance Behaviour!)

Before you go, if you go: I'll miss you, Lala. You're a delight. I smile when I think of you. :)

All the best!

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Many thanks to all of you!!! :)

Allan: I don't leave, really. This is a kind of break. A try to avoid my "WAB'ing" (as Luna said). I will come here (off-line) sometimes to see how my friends are, what's new. And I'd like to write here sometimes if I have some news about myself. I wish not to call it a leave :(.

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Hello LaLa. I'm sorry to hear you are leaving, but I won't ask you to stay, not if you feel it's best for you to go and spend more time in the real world (what is that, by the way? :confused:). I wanted to thank you for the way you have shared your compassion, kindness and concern with me on my posts and others also. I won't say goodbye, since you said you might visit. I will say...

FeeamaanAllah (which means: Go with God).:(

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