Reflecting and Remembering Events

[Pakhawaj]

It's been suggested by my therapist a couple of times that there may have been an event in my life which triggered my current mode of thinking, how can I recall if any such event occurred? Is this an important thing to do?

How can I remember if anything happened? How could I not know? I don't think I've repressed anything because if I had there would be parts of my memories which make no sense and I would have thought I would be given a session with a hypnotist if one of my doctors thought I had a repressed memory.

How can I go through my memories and be absolutely certain nothing terrible or significant happened?

[finding my way]

Pakhawaj, it is possible to repress memories, but I'm not sure if it is helpful to worry over the possibility:(. You may be stressing unnecessarily. Or, it might be getting you off task. The idea is to gain your health in mind and body. Then if you start to remember, if there is anything to remember, you will be on better footing to handle it. I wish you well today!

[Pakhawaj]

Thank you, though I was not stressed only confused.

I'm asking about this because I was asked to try to remember something and I want to comply but I don't have a method of sorting or going through memories. Like I said, I don't think anything significant happened but my therapist feels that she is running out of ideas and is contemplating handing me over to someone more qualified. I'd rather not go through my life story with someone else again so I want help my therapist to the best of my abilities, however nonexistent they are.

[IrmaJean]

Sometimes talking about your feelings and experiences will bring things up. If my therapist hit on something during sessions, there would be a BIG feeling behind it that seemed too intense for the current discussion. Has anything she's said or asked brought up a strong emotional response for you? When you are feeling that...there is something deeper there. Therapy is hard work! I hope you find the answers you are seeking.

[Pakhawaj]

Is it possible that there have been no external events that have majorly impacted my mode of thought and that any or all large changes have been my fault entirely? I'm not very intelligent, please excuse me if this is impossible.

I just can't think of anything bad that has happened to me in my past, which I suppose could be a bad thing. Could my youth be so blissful that I cannot function without such bliss? I'm sorry, I don't know much about psychology.

I know what causes me to feel strong emotions, I just don't understand why they cause strong emotions. I think this is a problem.

[IrmaJean]

I know what causes me to feel strong emotions, I just don't understand why they cause strong emotions.

This would be a great place to start. Maybe think hard about the "why" and discuss this further with your therapist.

I don't think there has to be a terrible event...but it may be more about your feelings during your childhood. Your relationship with your parents and how you felt within those relationships. Your feelings about your experiences? Maybe things to bring up for discussion in therapy?

There are lots of different methods of therapy too. Maybe delving into the past isn't what works best for you. Do you feel well-matched with this therapist or do you feel out of sync?

I hope you will be gentle with yourself, Pakhawaj.

[Pakhawaj]

Thank you very much, I really appreciate your responses they're not as critical as I would have expected; you don't seem judgemental or patronising.

I think I understand a bit more about myself, I'm not sure though, maybe I am just treading old ground.

I feel comfortable talking to her, sometimes I will feel confident enough to idely jest. I'm not sure about syncing, I don't really think I sync with anyone.

I'm sorry if I post too often with menial things, I don't have a great deal of experience with internet forums.

[Lindamomof7]

Hi Pakhawaj

I had something 4 yrs ago unconsiousley trigger me into depression then the diagnosis of PTSD and Bipolar.

My life was going good, great in fact but the depression was getting stronger. Not knowing why I was having depression, memory problems I went for psychological testing, not to good to do when depressed and have memory loss and confusion but from that led to some minor counseling and an interesting awareness ofevents in my life.

And with that the reflecting of my entire life seemed to make sense. Is it just my genetic personality of sensitivity, which led me to vulnerability? I think we can all ask ourselves that and the why's of who we are.

I had a great childhood so I thought until the repressed memories just kept popping up of sexual abuse. I now understand why I was the tomboy and always beat the boys up!!.

It is like a feeling of Oh yeah now I remember. I'm sure you have expereinced that? Thats kind of how it is with repressed memories and it may not be that you were abused physically or emotionally. I think for some there is a sensitivity that we have lived with without any problems until later in life when "something" just triggers us into a strange world of who the hell am I????

This happpened to me at about age 44 and wow life is different and I often say I have been dropped into this person I dont know physically or mentally, so I feel like a stranger.

Anyway there are different ways your triggers will affect you and my suggestion is to just be more aware of how you react and how you feel about something.

Hopefully there is no trauma in your past life, but just keep reflecting and understanding something simple as the way your parents talked to you or how you were treated as a kid that you just accepted as normal. Maybe it wasn't..

Good luck reflecting, I am still doing it

[IrmaJean]

Thank you very much, I really appreciate your responses they're not as critical as I would have expected;

One of the other things you can do in therapy is to take a look at your behaviors within the relationship. Often times there are patterns and thoughts/feelings in response that say something meaningful about you. For instance I might wonder why you would expect someone to be critical of you.

I'm sorry if I post too often with menial things, I don't have a great deal of experience with internet forums.

It isn't menial if it causes you concern, Pakhawaj. Your feelings and concerns have value. I hope you find some serenity tonight. Take gentle care.