What's in a name?

[Athena]

Recently somebody got me thinking about why I picked "Athena" for my internet name. I recall it being a very deliberate choice, taking me several days.

Athena is the Greek goddess of Wisdom, Military Victory and crafts. She was born from Zeus's head as a fully grown woman, fully ready for battle (with helmet, armour, spear and shield.) She averted the attempted rape by Hephaestus, but semen landed on her leg. She was grossed out and wiped it off with a cloth which fell on the earth (Gaia) and a kid was born, which wasn't hers but she took care of anyway. Athena is known for her Virginity, youthful strength and independence.

So the relevance is that I am seeking wisdom about "what am I here for and how do I get out of the mess I'm in?" Military Victory represents my belief in fighting for what I believe in and never giving up and "crafts" would represent my interests in Engineering (past) and music (present). I'm not going to talk about the sexual part of this description, other than to say I fantasize about my kids being immaculately conceived in order to obliterate my memory of their father (married 20 years and trying to get my freedom).

I feel like I have no peers. I played the roles of both mother and father in this relationship. My ex acted like a 12 year old boy - needy yet aggressive. I was somehow forced to be "superwoman" due to his lack of effort in contributing to the welfare of the family. It seems like Alicia Keys wrote "Superwoman" just for me. "Everywhere I'm turning, nothing seems complete. I stand up and I'm searching for the better part of me. I hang my head from sorrow, slave to humanity. Wear it on my shoulders, gotta find the strength in me. Cause I am Superwoman - yes I am (yes she is). Still when I'm a mess, I still put on a vest with an "S" on my chest. Oh yes, I'm a Superwoman...".

Saying I'm going through an Identity Crisis would be a massive understatement. I'm in Psychoanalysis right now, which is probably the best place for me. I didn't know much about it when I started, but looking back over the last few weeks, if somebody had told me up front that my therapist would put me in some kind of a trance, then through the power of suggestion make me have unbelievably intense passion for him which has basically led to me not sleeping for a week, then suggest I discuss those feelings at length with him and that all this is supposed to be for my benefit, I would have said, "you're nuts!" No wonder this type of analysis is controversial and gets people into trouble. Both parties have to have an insane amount of self-control coupled with severe consequences for both should any of this move beyond just talking about it. Man, all I was asking for was a cure for depression, lack of energy, chronic pain, social anxiety and rage!

One final note: There are a couple of possible images for Athena. She is either dressed as a warrior, or is a white rose. I chose the rose as I figured the warrior would scare "Mr. Wonderful" away if I ever meet him. At least I still have some thorns to protect me!

I'd welcome others' comments about what's in THEIR name. I'm sure some pretty cool stuff will come out, and it may foster an understanding of each other and perhaps a "connection", which is a little hard to get over the internet. While many of us are waiting for a "real" relationship out there in the physical world, this may be a helpful alternative.

[IrmaJean]

My middle name initials are IJ. People would often guess incorrectly that my middle name is IrmaJean. At the time that I was registering I couldn't think of anything deep and meaningful. I needed something quick and this was what I came up with. I'm not all that crazy about my screen name, actually. I like Athena much better.

[Athena]

IJ,

It's not too late to pick a new name. I did the same thing, in a hurry - my old name is Sunflower on some sites up in Canada. Frankly, I had forgotten I ever created it and only came across it again a few days ago. I have learned I have "trigger words" (usually bad). Sunflower was an attempt to find a positive one. It is a trigger for feeling the lovely warmth of the sun on my face. I only realized I keep choosing flowers a couple of days ago. Curious.

[Waiting]

My name Waiting is simple and direct.

It refers to the fact that there are so many things I am waiting for that while I can in some cases put effort into I can not fight on my own terms, now.

I wait to be back with my partner.

I wait for a my criminal trial to arrive so I can prove myself not guilty.

I wait for another job or my old job to be returned that I lost to do with the above charges and related things. I had worked for my employer 20 years before that.

I wait for my opportunity to put forth my human rights cases.

[Athena]

Waiting,

Wow, that sounds familiar. Great name!

[Waiting]

Thanks,

It seemed appropriate at the time and still does. I look forward to the day it does not.

[Sweetsara]

Sweetsara is what I used to call my daughter. So when my friend helped me sign up on this site I used it. It just seemed like a nice way to remember her.

[CrazySorrow]

"Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow, yes to dance beneath the diamond sky, with one hand waving free, silhouetted by the sea, -- With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves, Let me forget about today until tomorrow." I guess that about sums it up, where I picked my forum name from, and also why.... no drug reference attended.

I also think names say a lot about people. Even birth names to a certain extent... I am still exploring that connection, though.

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi Athena,

What a wonderful topic of discussion. Thank you so very much. I don't have an internet name. Allan is my real name. But, I know that people have strong feelings about there given name. Especially since it is "given" and not chosen. For example, I never liked the name "Allan." That goes back to my teen years when there wasn't much about myself I liked anyway.

This is a wonderful issue and, I wanted to tell you that the name Athena is terrific and I meant to tell you that a while ago.

Allan

[Athena]

Thanks for your kind comments Allan. And by the way, the name "Allan" to me makes me think of a kind man who has set up such a wonderful site and gives so freely of his years of training and experience and humanity to so many who are in pain.

[Rapha]

I came to the forum looking for healing and chose the name Rapha from one of the names of God, Jehovah-Rapha. It means "the God who heals" or "the God who brings healing". The great news is that the forum has brought a lot of healing to me in so many ways. Hopefully my replies to others who have shared their struggles have returned the favor in some small fashion.

Peace,

---Rapha

[58corvette]

I was born in 1958 & I Love the 1958 Corvette's!!!

[Guy Out There]

I'm a guy, i often feel like 'that guy', the one nobody seems to notice (or care to notice)...the 'out there' part is simply a reference to my loneliness and distance from people and the fact that to everybody on this forum i am simply 'some Guy Out There'...

I always love to read the meaning behind people's names, thanks for the thread

[labrador]

My screen name is the breed of the dog we rescued when we finally had a place that we could have dogs. She is now almost 13 years old and is as much a part of the family as any one of us.

[shanrucas]

My name is simply a combination of my first name and last name..it was quick and easy and I can remember it.

[Athena]

I'm a guy, i often feel like 'that guy', the one nobody seems to notice (or care to notice)...the 'out there' part is simply a reference to my loneliness and distance from people and the fact that to everybody on this forum i am simply 'some Guy Out There'...

I always love to read the meaning behind people's names, thanks for the thread

Guy - You hit the nail on the head. The reason I started the thread is so we can get to know each other better and so we're not just "some guy (or gal) out there"

[JaneE]

My name, JaneE is for Jane Eyre, the literary character, whose name is the title of the classic Victorian novel by Charlotte Bronte.

When I was young, I loved that book, and loved Jane and thought I was just like her. Someone plain and humble, but deserving of love. A woman but also a person.

Unfortunately I was not as much like Jane as I should have been... I didn't have her moral conviction or other good Victorian English qualities, haha.

Oh well. I suppose it's never too late? I really need to re-read the book, it's been years. I used to have it nearly memorized. Things ended up okay for her.

But of course, it's just a story. If Jane had been a real person, it's unlikely she'd have been as she was. I think she might have been more like me! XD Oops...

Jane

[bezoman]

Everywhere I go, I am called Bezo. However, Bezo was too short for this site so I went with Bezoman since I am both Bezo and a man.

Even though it's not my birth name, I've come to think of Bezo as my real name. Bezo is me without restraint or limits. Bezo is my worship of freedom. Bezo can do everything.

Someday I hope I can become Bezo.