Forgotten the point of life.

[Guy Out There]

Well it's been a long time since i was here, i had to leave without notice because i was sliding down a long slope and i couldn't face little things like this anymore.

I'm worse than ever and ever is bad, my therapist (? is that what they're called ) asked me to make a timeline of my life to help express my thoughts. I made the mistake of taking it seriously and dug out some old documents (i used to document my problems), it revealed just how bad my problems were and brought thoughts from years ago back and everything came crashing down..

Worse than that i've got to go to work today after the chirstmas break and suddenly i hate it. I hate the job i used to love so much.

I really hate to come crawling back on a low, i wish i could say, hey everybody it's going to be a good year for me but sadly the last few years have been nothing but the lowest points in my life.

Now i've got that off my chest i feel a little better ...

Take care

[danni]

Hi Guy and welcome back. I'm sorry that the circumstances are a low point for you though. We are here though whether you're at a high or a low.

What can we do to support you?

[LaLa]

Hello, Guy,

I'm sorry you feel worse... I can see that remembering old problems can make come back the old feelings. But... I also think that in your words "how bad my problems were years ago", there is an implicite information that those are already a past and that in the meantime, you were better - or at least able to overcome these problems (but had other ones, I know... ). Do you think that you could try to look at it from this perspective? I know that your depression and probably other problems make you see everything "in dark colors" . But being aware that it's only the result of an illness could help to overcome at least the worse thinking pattern (?)...

I'm glad you're back here again. And I hope this post of mine doesn't repel you

[Luna-]

Guy, you know it's always good to see you again. It shouldn't have to be a failure for you to be here ... You are however you are.

[Guy Out There]

Thanks for the welcome and for your kind thoughts and support..

I feel at a real loss now, my therapist told me yesterday that they couldn't help me, her words were "forget your thoughts, we can't really help you because we're not trained."..."You need to focus on doing more".

At the time when i feel like i am rotting away and approaching the point of no return (the time when your present actions have shaped your future to such a form as there is no chance of repair), how can they expect me to 'do more', i can't even face going to work, it's hard enough convincing myself to wake up.

When your therapists tell you they can't help what do you do? I can't fire them or let them go because i don't pay for them (NHS), i can't get another therapist because i fear i might hurt their feelings, i don't know what to do.

It's one thing for someone to say "sort your life out" but quite another for them to expect it of someone who has forgotten how to do it.

I just don't have a clue what to do, any advice?

[LaLa]

i can't get another therapist because i fear i might hurt their feelings, i don't know what to do.

Oh; I'm surprised! Please, don't take it badly - it's not that I would think it's surprising that your care about others feelings!, but... I'm surprised that even though they said they can't help you, but wish you to get better, you fear to do something to get better, as it could "hurt their feelings"! Guy, please, do it for yourslef: find another therapist!!! You feel that you can't cope alone. The ones that were supposed to help you don't have the right qualification. So what's the logical conclusion? Try your best to find someone more appropriate for you! I know it's always hard and full od uncertainty , I know it can take some time, but when you compare it to the 2nd option - doing nothing (or worse...) - it's much better for you, for your future, ..., than passivity! (In fact, this might be the "focus on doing more" they mentioned.)

Your work became so hard for you, but it's because of how you feel due to your troubles, not because the work itself. You'll be able to enjoy it again when you'll feel better in your "personal life".

We care about you... Don't give it up.

[58corvette]

Welcome Back;

Sorry to hear things not going so well. You have been here for me to help out over several issues. You are a Good Caring Person.

I know it's difficult but Please do as I am trying & just take day to day. Plenty of People are here for Ya!!!

The Best to You!!!

[randomperson]

Please don't feel bad posting that you are hurting. Life is tough.

I often find the small steps are more true growth than the big ones.

Giant steps often lead to back sliding sometimes setting you back further than when you started but the constant small steps forward can change people

You said you hate your job now, why?

Maybe it would help to talk about it.

[LaLa]

I often find the small steps are more true growth than the big ones. Giant steps often lead to back sliding sometimes setting you back further than when you started but the constant small steps forward can change people

Thanks for this idea! I really like it!

L.

[Guy Out There]

I feel like i'm stuck in the middle of a slippery U shaped pit. Everytime i try to climb the walls i end up sliding back to where i started.

I'll be honest the real reason i don't want to change my therapist was not because of their feelings but because i am scared. I am so scared of going to my doc and saying 'these people are not helping me, find me someone else who can'..

Thank you all for your caring advice, i'm going to do as randomperson said, take some small steps.. This means i'm going to raise the issue with my current therapists and see if they can send me to someone who can help, if they can't then i will go to my doc and force myself to admit they are not helping. Admitting the issue is the first step..

Thanks once again everyone for your responces, knowing that people care always makes me feel a little less alone..