mscat Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 It hurts badly right now . I moved several years ago to be close to my biological brother who we never grew up together.... LIved here close to him and his family for 8 years in this tiny town. He is moving accross the USA , and it is killing me so badly inside. Much like when were separated. LIke a death. He is not dying, but he will be so far away, and to lose him all over again. My bro found a little yorkie puppy 2 days ago , in the cold, running in the streets. Well he gave her to me. I already have 2 service dogs , one for my son and one for me. If I had to give this new pup up due to apartment rules , or even be evicted because of it , then I know things will be even worse. I am so upset thinking about my bro leaving , It is like I've been beaten up or something. It comes in waves , crying hystericaly , feeling like I am about to vomit. I do not know if my Pdoc would write anther letter for me so i could keep this pup too. As a human being, my bro is the only person in my life that I truely love and can be myself with. It is so not right that he has to leave. I am absolutely devastated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindamomof7 Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 Hi Cathy I hope you can find some comfort during this aweful time of seperation for you, You moved once to be close to him is it possible to move closer to where he will be living? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 Hi mscat,I am familiar with what you are going through. I have always found it painful when a relative, brother, etc. moved away. I think we go through a period of mourning because it feels as though they died. However, try to remember that he is alive and that communication is very easy in todays world. For example, if you and he have computers and have a webcam on each computer(if not they are available at cheap prices) you can use Skype to talk and see each other just as though you are near each other.What do you think?Allan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscat Posted January 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2011 Linda, he is moving cross country, and I can't just do that . You are correct, I did move here to be closer to him, he is family, pretty much the only person in my life that I have a connection to. Allen, You are absolutely correct. My brain knows he is not dead, but my heart tells me it is the end of a special connection , and for some reason it does feel like a death. I am wondering if this may be connected to being separated when younger by CPS> We are very close in age , sometimes even saying the same words at the same time. It is odd that it happens , we think very much a like. I think talking to him and seeing him through the computor is a very good idea. At least the myth of him being "gone" will help confirm his existence. The sadness and tears come in waves all day long. When the tears start the pain hurts so much, I just bawl . Therapy was yesterday, even he is worried about how things will be. Not much comfort there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chatterbox512 Posted January 20, 2011 Report Share Posted January 20, 2011 I am so sorry that you are in so much pain right now. It is a similar feeling to when we loose a loved one. You are grieving, allow yourself that, cry, get mad, let it out. Once you can't do it anymore than write a long letter to your brother. You have a good excuse to visit him as often as you are able, and as other suggested Skype works well. Also when you moved out to be with him before had you been in contact with him prior to that? Or was it kind of a rash decision when you found out where he was and then you just moved to be closier? I am asking because now you know where he is, you will have his address, his phone number and can contact him anytime. When is he moving, or has he already? You could always send him something as a house warming gift (a picture of you) so that you will always be in his house as he will always be in yours (with the puppy). You can make it through this!!! You have all of us as support, plus your therapist and I am sure many other friends!! Not to mention your son. You are strong and can make it through this difficult time!! We are here for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscat Posted January 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2011 Thank you all so much for your support . My biological brother and I had been in contact off and on throughout the years. He came and saw me when I moved back into my parents home when I was 19 years old. Back then I had full blown anorexia and bulimia, very , very sickly thin. We went places and had fun. However, I found out later that after he left he cried hysterically , believing I was going to die. After that visit our lives went into two different directions... We moved on . Then one day out of the blue when I was 26 years old he called me. He was happy and married. WE talked for hours, catching up. i did recover from the eating disorder , became pregnant out of sheer luck, weighinf in at a meer 93 pounds.. barely having any monthy cycles at all, had a BF. did not worry it could even happen. Well it did . I had a choice to make , have a healthy baby or continue with the ED. BTW , I was in patient for this ED, but that is a different story. I chose to bring new life in the world, gained 65+ pounds , and had a healthy child. WHen my brother called again a couple years later he had remarried . This time he had a stepdaughter, and little son. I too had a son . They are nearly exactly 3 years apart. I became a preschool teacher at 19, even with the ED, and tried going to college. I taught preschool over 20 years. I have raised my son as a single mom , and he has autism with cognitive delays. He is now 17. I lost my job in the bay area where I lived, and by this time my Bro was calling nearly everyday. it was not a spur of the moment move . I had to find a cheaper place to live , but most importantly have that connection with Tim, and his /my family. SO now it has been 8years living in a very, very small town. AND he is leaving me... Feels like my heart is being torn out from my chest. I cry in waves, sometimes gut wrenching crying... Like today , but it was at the DR's office. This amazing Woman DR. gave me a hug.... Only my son has done that, and he gets upset when I cry. Sorry for such a long post. I spent time at Tim's home today. Doing laundry. His wife's mother just died , and they are in ARKANSA . the wife and stepdaughter. NO my bro is still here, and this is why it is a bit scary that I am already going to pieaces. i need to get it in my head that their will be contact, he is not leaving me forever, and we will be together again. As hard as it may , I have to just let myself feel bad, sad, cry , be angry all that stuff. Right now i've been grief stricken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted January 20, 2011 Report Share Posted January 20, 2011 Hi Mscat,What about my idea about keeping in video contact over the Internet? Families at home actually do that with their loved ones in Iraq and Afghanistan. And, its for free.Allan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mscat Posted January 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2011 Sorry that i did not respond to your suggestion. Without a doubt , we will be communicating via internet. It still does not help to know I can't just go to his house and be there with him. At least their will be some type of communication. It brings some amount of comfort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted January 20, 2011 Report Share Posted January 20, 2011 I am sorry for the great loss that you are feeling, mscat I hope something of some sort can work out to stay in contact... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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