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A Blast From The Past..


mscat
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On Thursday my foster mother gave me a photo album , and a pile of photos with a rubber band tied around them.. Well in several picture I was in . Those pictures were very telling. I had not seen them. It was me from the days of a Extremely horrible eating disorder. I could only stare at them in disbelief. It was me though looking very , very thin, and cold. Hairstyle was different, I looked younger then I was . I was at least 19. The clothes just hung on my fragile body. It brought back some memories. In every picture I wore a sweatshirt or small jacket, because it was easy to get chilled even on a hot day.

My son told me it looked like I was "special" Cause he has seen kids look that way. NO i was not. But, that was the only way he could describe me. Just skin and bones. It was actually horrific to see that. Not only was I frail looking I was also "short" . Everybody towered over me. I was an adult though. Just the foster family members are very tall, and there I was in the mist of them. The pictures captured me expressions, and I noticed I never looked at the camera. All I remember clearly was how many pounds I was. And how I tried to always avoid eating. I stayed at 87 pounds for a very long time. Then dropped to 75 pounds. At nearly 5'5 , it was quite a sight.

these are not nice pictures. I have not seen myself during the ED. so these pictures told their own story . Of a freakish time in my life . Not at all good memories either. Those pictures will haunt me. Now, I can expect the fact that I really was in pretty bad shape, and more then I ever expected. :eek:

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Hi Cathy

I used to have just one picture of me when I was younger - its long since been lost thankfully. I was literally just skin and bone, I think I must of been about 13, I looked about 8. It wasnt due to an E.D but more due to the fact my parents had some very wierd ideas on dissapline. Yeah they were just wierd :)

Your story reminds me a little of my photo I once had, and the feelings I had back in the day. And well, I guess Im just checking to see if your ok hun.

Take care

Sue

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Thank you Sue. Yes, I am ok, I just had to vent about those pictures.. I really never did see myself as having an ED. Even though it was painfully obvious. Now that I have those pictures it brought a flood back of memories. I could not help but stare at them, yuck, that was really me. There not at all nice to see me like that . Of course I was a lot younger , but an adult though. the few years before my life changed for the better. it was just creepy to see what I looked like in the mist of a ED.

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Mine was the the opposite my foster mom was a horrible cook and we still had eat whatever she cooked. eg. Cabbage soup cooked on high heat for at least 3-4hrs with one or two pork chop,potatoes,onions and we were not allowed to use salt or pepper.

Growing up with bad food my sisters and I would be on the chunky side:(.

By the time I finally moved out I became the opposite and never ate I would eat a piece of toast every two days and became thin.

Now that I'm a mother I cook my children real good meals so they can remember what I did for them and not have bad childhood memories.

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I am sorry that you had to go through all that, mscat. You were also a child yourself, and I saw on another post that you have overcome your ED, which is so great. I would find it more odd if you weren't somewhat haunted by seeing the effects of something that used to rule your life so completely. We all have our mountains to climb in this world, and I would take it more as a life that you would never want to go back to and look at your beautiful, healthy face in the mirror to see all that you have accomplished since than.

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